06.03.2010 james cameron will not be fixing the oil spill

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James Cameron doesn’t really understand story structure in movies, but he has spent over 3000 hours on deep water dive sites like the Titanic and the Bismarck, and he holds several patents for inventing cases and robotic equipment made to handle the extreme pressure and cold found at the ocean floor. And he’s the dumb one in the family. His brother Mike is nothing short of an engineering genius.

So, it does make some degree of sense that the United States government would ask the director of Avatar to brainstorm ideas to fix the BP oil leak. He’s worked in tougher conditions than this (the BP leak is 1 mile down, the Bismarck was 2 miles down, the Titanic 2.5) and figured that stuff out. But it turns out they won’t be using any of Camerons ideas. Oh and he’s just thrilled about it. Yahoo says…

“Over the last few weeks I’ve watched, as we all have, with growing horror and heartache, watching what’s happening in the Gulf and thinking those morons don’t know what they’re doing,” Cameron said at the All Things Digital technology conference.
Cameron said he has offered to help the government and BP in dealing with the spill. He said he was “graciously” turned away by the British energy giant.
Cameron suggested the U.S. government needed to take a more active role in monitoring the undersea gusher, which has become the worst oil spill in U.S. history.
“I know really, really, really smart people that work typically at depths much greater than what that well is at,” Cameron said.

Can’t we just send him down anyway? Let him try. This is the kind of shit that always awakens Godzilla or Cthulhu, and if you think things are bad now, just wait until the monsters start arriving.

02.03.2010 morning headlines

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CONAN O’BRIEN - is one step closer to a deal with Fox, with CEO Rupert Murdoch saying, “If the programming people can show us we can do it and make a profit, we would do it in a flash.” Conan is real popular with college students, so maybe one good way to make money would be to have Andy sell weed out behind the studio. (radar)

JAMES CAMERON - doesn’t think ‘Avatar’ will win the Oscar for best picture. “I believe it’s very unlikely that we will win because I made such a jackass out of myself last time.” He also says ‘The Hurt Locker’, directed by his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow, is the biggest threat. Then he added, “It’s good if you don’t mind watching movies in 2D, like some kind of stoneage fag.” (imdb)

LOST - This flight may cost more, but I have a bad feeling about that Quantas one. I don’t wanna risk it. (college humor)

SARAH HARDING - is a member of the UK girl-group Girls Aloud, and she’s been in Barbados all week modeling different bikinis. None of them were that great. In hindsight I maybe could have hyped these up a little better. (splash)