The Jamie Lynn Spears Pulls a Knife (VIDEO)

By Lex January 13, 2015 @ 1:18 PM

Remember when Jamie Lynn Spears pulled a knife at the Pita Pit over New Years? No, that other time. It’s unclear why the fight started, but you can now see how it ended. Jamie Lynn taking the circuitous route around the counter to grab a kitchen knife. I will cut you like a fucking falafel. Nobody puts Jamie Lynn in a conservatorship. That seemed to simmer everybody down. It’s kind of disappointing that a fight broke out in a Louisiana restaurant and people had to scramble to borrow weapons. You can’t stop a gator with a spackling of baba ghanouj. Uh-huh. I guarantee.

Video Credit: TMZ

Jamie Lynn Spears Pulls A Knife

By Matt January 01, 2015 @ 8:08 AM


Jamie Lynn Spears was at a Pita Pit, which apparently is fine dining where she lives. Some drama went down in the Pit and someone threw a glass bottle and tagged Spears’ friend in the head. Naturally, Spears jumped behind the counter and grabbed a knife and began brandishing the shit out of it in a threatening manner. Her ninja shit cooled everyone off because nobody wants to be the guy who makes the news for getting shanked by Britney’s sister. It’s a double fail. I’m surprised she has this kind of gumption. Most chicks would have frozen up or got her boyfriend overly involved so he could get his ass kicked. Hats off. I’m assuming the Pita Pit is eliminating glass bottles from their service items in the future. Way to go inappropriately drunk morons, you ruined another thing. Let’s Nerf the world to the point that Jamie Lynn Spears is kind of a bad ass. America has seen better days.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

It’s A Spears Easter Y’all!

By Steve G. April 01, 2013 @ 4:26 PM

Britney Spears attended Easter services in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana yesterday and she looked awful. To be more accurate, she looked like her mom. On the other hand, little sister and five times divorced Jamie Lynn Spears looked pretty good in her way too short for church Easter dress. And, by pretty good, I mean, she didn’t look like her mom.

Photo credit: PCN


By brendon December 03, 2008 @ 10:45 AM

The always great Star magazine says today that Jamie Lynn Spears is worried she caused permanent damage to her daughter Maddie because Jamie had lipo while she was pregnant.  You might be wondering how a perfectly healthy 16-year-old managed to get lipo, and you'd be right.  Jamies mom Lynne had to fight for her daughter to get approved because you're not supposed to knock out underage teens and poke around inside of them.  Ironically, that’s how Jamie got into this mess to begin with.  So far it's not clear if Maddies slow development is because of the surgery, or because the Spears' are retards.  Star says…

Jamie Lynn had just finished her hit Nickelodeon show Zoey 101 when she found the weight piling on. Not realizing she was expecting, she pleaded with her mom, Lynne Spears, to let her get liposuction, says a source.  She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a second source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient."  "Any form of liposuction is dangerous and should not be performed on a pregnant woman," plastic surgeon Dr. Gary Burton tells Star. "It poses serious health risks to the fetus."

The numbers here are kind of weird because Spears made her announcement to the world when she was 12 weeks pregnant.  How much weight could she have really put on in three months?  Is the answer 17 pounds?  Because that’s what I'm guessing, and if it turns out I was right that would really be something.  Borderline amazing.


By brendon October 13, 2008 @ 7:10 AM

Last week of course, the National Enquirer reported that 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant for the second time, just three months after giving birth the first time.  Denials were issued across the board, but NE is sticking by their original story, and now says it has confirmed the news with a source inside the family.  

Now, a close family member has revealed exclusively that the Spears family is in an uproar and Jamie Lynn is being pressured to abort the baby. The anonymous public denials of Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy, says the family member, are simply buying the Spears family time until they decide what to do.
“Jamie Lynn’s mom is furious about the pregnancy,” the family member told an ENQUIRER source. “And she’s livid the news leaked out, especially during her book tour.
“Lynne doesn’t want to talk about it publicly until they sort this out.
“Jamie Lynn is being pressured by people very close to her to abort. But no decision has been made yet.
“Casey is furious. Jamie Lynn hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. He learned about it in the media and then confronted her and she told him it was true.
“Lynne and Jamie Lynn have been arguing nonstop by phone.”

I'm not gonna lie to you, Jamie Lynn looks kinda hot in these pictures, and not just because she’s driving a 90,000 dollar car.  Maybe a blond teen who just gave birth is the girl for me.  Some women receive the first 15-inches of my penis and then claim that’s all they can take.  So, if Jamie Lynn just had a kid, I'm thinking it's game on baby.

(picture source = inf daily)


By brendon October 08, 2008 @ 11:39 AM

In complete contrast to what the NE said earlier today, TMZ says now that Jamie Lynn Spears is not pregnant, citing a source that cannot be turned into a peach, no matter what. (nyuk nyuk nyuk!) 

Three-month-old Maddie Briann Aldridge is gonna have to wait to have a lil' baby brother or sister, because Jamie Lynn Spears is not pregnant, y'all!
While several reports are claiming Jamie Lynn is preggers again, an unimpeachable source tells TMZ Britney's baby sis does not have another bun in the oven.
Someone tell Lynne Spears and get her down from the ledge.

If TMZ is right, I’m willing to bet Jamie Lynn is the one who told the Enquirer she was pregnant.  Because she’s an idiot, and if you can't do anything right, a good idea is to point out that at least you didn’t fuck up.  It turns doing nothing into something admirable.  And all she had to do was not get pregnant for a second time at 17.  It would be like if I told my parents I was a democrat.  Then I said, "naw I’m just kidding, but I am a gay pedophile necrophiliac".  They would say, "oh my god, you're a democrat!"  "No.  I was kidding about that.  But I do dig up dead boys and make love to them."   "But not as a Democrat?" "No." "Oh thank god."

(picture source = inf daily)