DAVID LETTERMAN - is denying a report in the Enquirer that his wife has thrown him out of the house as a result of the affairs he admitted to last month. If she does try to kick him out, he should give her a book about Scott Peterson. Remind her what’s up. (wonderwall)
NICOLE RICHIE - is married to Joel Madden, and has been for some time although no one knew it until today. Probably because no one gives a shit. (radar)
GIRLS KISSING - will never ever get old. At least until I die, and even then it will depend on where their hands are and if they’re using tongue or not. (college humor)
JANET JACKSON - holds Dr. Conrad Murray responsible for her brothers death because Murray gave Michael a powerful anesthetic shortly before he died. In an interview that will air Wednesday, she also says she thinks about him everyday. Especially last week when she raped a little boy. (popeater)
ELIZA DUSHKU - is sexy as hell, as you can see in some recent twitter pictures and by the thong she flashed while preparing for a bike ride with bf Rick Fox. He’s 6’7”, btw, and she’s 5’5”, so Eliza must be pretty easily relaxed. I’m 6’5” and I dated a girl who is 5’3”. During sex she looked like a unicorn.
LINDSAY LOHAN - here’s a picture of Lindsay knocking on Sam Ronsons door early this morning. She of course is locked out after yet another fight. Say what you will about Lindsay but she’s perceptive. Sams message got through loud and clear. She wanted Lindsay to knock on the door incessantly. People love that. It’s soothing. (pacific coast)
JANET JACKSON - has separated from her husband Jermaine Dupre. The Jackson family never did like him. When his brother died, he actually buried him. WTF is that all about? So long weirdo. (source = us magazine)
HAYDEN PANETTIERE - went swimming with dolphins this week. I do that too. One time the Dolphin King told me, “You are a good and loyal friend, and you will always have a home here in our underwater kingdom.” True Story! (hq jump here)
I think it would be thrilling to grow up in a house with Katherine and Joe Jackson. Because you never know when Joe might punch you in the face or sodomize you. It would make bedtime more exciting! Despite all that, OK magazine says today that Michael Jackson’s kids would rather live with Janet.
Janet Jackson has emerged as the favored caregiver for the three children.
And, sources tell OK!, that appears to be just what Prince, Paris and Blanket want most.“All three want Janet to read to them at night,” a Jackson family friend says. “They just melt into her arms when she walks into the house.”
The feeling is mutual, adds the insider.
“Janet has completely bonded with those children in the last two weeks.”
Hopefully this will work out. And then, maybe after everything has been divided up, they can even get around to burying that guy who died 20 days ago. No rush though. Take your time. Try to make some money off it first. Maybe get a sponsor for his grave, or just sell him to a Russian circus. If that all falls through, why waste money? Just sneak on to an alligator farm one night and throw him over the fence. Then tell us it’s what he would have wanted. “He loved animals.”
(image source = getty. on a side note, how much ass is that oldest kid gonna get? Little bastard is 10 and he looks like James Bond. I don’t like it when little kids are smoother than me. Knock it off punk.)
JANET JACKSON - made an appearance at last nights BET Awards as part of the celebration of Michael Jacksons life. When she was done, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx “performed a somber version of the Jackson 5 classic ‘I’ll Be There’”. And when they were done, all the white people said, “Who the hell was that?” (source = the ap)
BILLY MAYS - the Oxi-Clean guy who yells at everyone until you buy his stuff was found dead in his home Sunday morning. He was only 50, and no cause is known, but the night before his US Air flight blew a tire while landing and something fell and hit his head. So did that kill him, did US Air murder Billy Mays? Uhh, yeah sure why not. (source = la times)
ISLA FISHER - there were more pictures of Isla but I didn’t look at those because I didn’t want to find out that these were just a good angle and her rack isn’t really that awesome. I’m happier not knowing sometimes. (source = pacific coast)
I bet Janet Jackson is all ripped out under that big baggy black coat. Because she’s all into working out and eating right. That’s why she was on the cover of Us magazine in a bikini. Twice. She works out and eats right. She doesn’t do steroids, a cutting cycle like Winstrol or Primobolancycle, to get ripped when she has an album out. I don’t know why you would think that. This is normal. People shapeshift like this all the time, like in those X-Men movies, for example.
The New York Post has an article today on the Jackson family, who should be worth hundreds of millions of dollars, yet somehow are barely surviving. The Jackson 5 sold more than 100 million albums, second only to the Beetles, yet today Janet is the only one with anything even remotely resembling a career. The rest of them are sort of still musicians, in the same way that dalmatians are sort of fireman. So where is the family now?
- Marlon Jackson, 51: an original Jackson Five member who stocks shelves at a Vons supermarket in San Diego, had to temporarily move into an extended-stay hotel.
- Janet Jackson, 41: the current family breadwinner. She bought her mom a Vegas home in anticipation of losing the family's mansion, Hayvenhurst, to foreclosure. Like their Neverland colleagues, workers at Hayvenhurst have not been paid for months.
- La Toya Jackson, 52: family turncoat who declared Michael guilty during the 1993 molestation case, she earns a living mostly in Europe and in the UAE judging beauty and singing contests. She lives with a wealthy boyfriend in Beverly Hills and has little contact with her siblings.
- Tito Jackson, 55: formed a blues band several years ago and plays at small venues for $500 to $1,500 a gig.
- Michael Jackson, 49: on the verge of losing Neverland ranch as well as the family's Encino, Calif., home. He's hiding out in Las Vegas and repeatedly makes promises to his brothers while sabotaging any attempts by them to ply their musical trade.
- Randy Jackson, 46: does odd jobs like changing tires to support himself. He was Michael's business manager during the 2005 molestation trial but ran into serious problems with friends after he persuaded three people to take out lines of credits against their homes to help Michael pay his attorney fees and Michael stiffed them.
- Jackie Jackson, 56: the oldest son started an Internet clothing business and is trying to produce records by his sons. Nothing has panned out.
- Jermaine Jackson, 54: splits time between the parents' Hayvenhurst mansion and his girlfriend's home in the San Fernando Valley. With more than $5 million in federal, state and other liens against him and a 1995 bankruptcy filing, he doesn't work or have a regular income.
The article goes on to say that Michael is primarily responsible for the family's downfall because he signed his brothers to record deals and then never released their music. They say he wanted them to fail, wanted them to be broke, officially making him the Most Sinister Man In The World, at least among men who who sleep in footy pajamas with teddy bears and boys. To be fair, he won this title mostly because no one else entered the contest, but still, he's one tough costumer.
