January Jones Wants to Have Sex With Rihanna

By Lex March 21, 2014 @ 6:38 PM

January Jones Nude And Covered For Violet Grey
Meh. It’s one of those stupid questions that used to be provocative, now every girl in Hollywood has a prepared answer for it. Which other girl would you like to sleep with? Everybody used to say Mila Kunis because they could earnestly say how pretty she is, how talented, and how sweet she seems. But now that she’s Eskimo Sisters with Lindsay Lohan, everybody needs a new fake lipstick lesbian partner. In an interview with Violet Grey magazine, January Jones chose Rihanna.

“I try to take risks and shock people a little bit. It’s important to provoke some sort of emotion, negative or positive.”

By which she means, if I mention a controversial pot smoking black woman, do you promise not to ask me if Claudia Schiffer’s husband is my baby daddy anymore?

Photo Credit: Violet Grey

January Jones Out With Her Immaculate Conception for Mother’s Day

By Lex May 13, 2013 @ 11:47 AM

January Jones Out With Her Son In Los Angeles
Two years on now and January Jones has still yet to give up the goods on who nailed her pregnant. One top rumor is her X-Men director Matthew Vaughn. Some people don’t like to mention this rumor because it automatically draws a very threatening letter from the attorney for Matthew Vaughn and his taut-faced model wife Claudia Schiffer stating that both Matthew and Claudia categorically deny any involvement in the knocking up of January Jones. And, as you know, when a man denies being the father of the baby of a woman not his wife, that’s incontrovertible fact. It’s like a pinky swear. You can’t lie about that shit.

** For the record, I have no independent knowledge of either Matthew Vaughn or Claudia Schiffer sticking their penises (penii?) into January Jones and dropping their genetic payloads. Though, January Jones is pretty damn hot and there’d be no shame in saying you shot your arrow into her teepee on a lonely night when waiting another six hours for the mutant makeup to set. Not that I have any evidence that that is what happened. Like photographs of a married Matthew Vaughn mounted on top of January Jones while she begs him to make her with child as they both laugh at what an uptight stick Claudia has become. I have no iPhone 4S pictures of that. Or even the mocking laughter of the coitally entwined couple on audio tape. Nobody has that. That seems to back up the denial. So just forget I ever mentioned Matthew Vaughn barebacking January Jones into motherhood with his pent-up jizz as the cuckolding pair made crude jokes about Claudia’s German heritage. Because there’s no proof that ever happened. It’s silly that people even bring this up.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

January Jones In See-Through Top

By Lex April 26, 2013 @ 1:24 PM

January Jones In See-Through Top At LAX

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

January Jones is still delightful, considerate

By brendon September 28, 2012 @ 2:32 PM

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January Jones had to pick up some dry-cleaning yesterday, but hopefully no handicapped people did because she parked in their spot.

Of course it’s possible she didn’t know it was a handicapped spot. Maybe she thought the picture of a wheelchair meant this was parking for characters from X-Men movies, and that the curb was blue because it was sad or a Boise State fan.

(image source = inf, fame/flynet)

January Jones is too busy for makeup, her baby

By brendon September 21, 2012 @ 4:23 PM

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Here are the captions for these pictures from three different picture agencies:

– “January Jones takes her son Xander to the doctor in Santa Monica.”
– “January Jones feeds her meter in Los Angeles before taking her son Xander to the doctors.”
– “Makeup-less January Jones steps out in Santa Monica while her son, Xander, is carried by his nanny.”

So yes, these are supposed to show January Jones spending time with her baby, though I looked at a hundred pictures and couldn’t find one where she was within a hundred yards of the kid. It’s like January gave the baby to her nanny, then got a restraining order on her.

(image source = splash, inf, pacific coast)

January Jones Represents Hard-Working Single Moms Now

By author March 16, 2012 @ 11:00 AM

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I’ll pause for a moment so all of the other single moms can put down their champagne glass and hand off their child to an army of Filipino housekeepers to get the scoop here. via Us Weekly:

I was back when the baby was only 6 or 7 weeks old so it was difficult,” the actress, 34, told Us Weekly about her return to the set at Mad Men’s Season 5 premiere in Hollywood Wednesday. “It was difficult to be a working mom and just juggling all of that. But everyone made it work and it was great.

To be honest this is an easily attacked line we hear from just about every celebrity mom, but in the case of an ice-hearted bitch whose illegitimate pregnancy almost broke up a marriage, it’s hard not to draw attention to it. Also, let’s not forget that January’s character on ‘Mad Men’ last season had about a collective half hour of screen time, so unless they left a ton on the cutting room floor (yes, I believe they still edit film reels with scissors while chain-smoking) I’m sure she wasn’t exactly putting in 16 hour days.

(Image Source = Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News)