Carrie Bradshaw Looks Great

November 13, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Last night marked the twenty-first annual MTV European Music Awards, where the who’s whose of sassy starlets gathered to celebrate all of the vast achievements in contemporary music created on the same Casio keyboard. While appearances by fourteen-year-old Snapchat stars who you’ve never heard of and who’ve definitely been Kevin Spacey-ed hardcore to get where they are dominated the night, some old favorites clawed their way in, and no one is older than Jared Leto. Never one to pull ho stunts to get publicity, the Renaissance woman showed up in a demure, understated pastel ensemble reminiscent of Carrie Bradshaw on her way to get empoweringly finger blasted on Sex and the City. Or Leto was paying tribute to all of the Golden Girls. Or Norman Bates. Whatever the case, I think we can all agree this is an appropriate look for a non-desperate forty-five-year-old man. 

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Jared Leto Lands Lead Role In Hugh Hefner Biopic

October 6, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Contrary to popular assumptions, I hope this movie isn’t targeted to cater to men who receive thoughtless Father’s Day gift sets exclusively from Target every year. 

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Jared Leto Not Joking Around About Suicide Spinoff

August 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Suicide Squad was an insipid film at best. Jared Leto as joker filled those seats in the theater. And just like Hollywood to not issue an apology and refund, we got served with a spinoff. 

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Suicide Squad Labeled Sexist

August 3, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Suicide Squad is being universally panned by critics which is odd because they are usually completely fine with taking payoffs and telling you to go see some rancid piece of shit starring Anne Hathaway and Seth Rogen’s left testicle. This movie must really suck. It’s also been widely criticized as sexist which may be its only saving grace.

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Jared Leto Fairly Badass

May 23, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Jared Leto might be an androgynous Scientologist drone who sees dead people but at least he can fucking do something. That’s him in the front climbing a cliff in Yosemite. Being sober definitely has its benefits. If your lifestyle affords it, imagine how braindead and enticed by shiny objects you have to be to spend your days looking at shoes on Rodeo.

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Jared Leto Can Name Up to Two American Immigrants (VIDEO)

November 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jared Leto was tasked with the obligatory awards ceremony ode to third world suffering felt heavily by wealthy celebrities because of how many foreign speaking nannies and gardeners they employ. Also, many of them are presently fucking Czech models. Leto read a note from a guy whose wife was killed by the terrorists in Paris who refused to […]

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Jared Leto’s Stupid Hair And Shit Around The Web

March 7, 2015 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Jared Leto cut his hipster Jesus hair and died it platinum blond. It’s for an upcoming role he’s playing in the movie Douche Bag. It goes on forever. Just when you thought Jared couldn’t get any douchier. (Huffington Post) Hot girls, scantily clad, taking pictures in the mirror. (The Chive) Yara Khmidan is all greasy […]

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Jared Leto Hawks Fannypack

January 7, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Jared Leto posted a shirtless pic of himself wearing a fannypack, which conveniently contained a link to his merch page. On the site you can buy his dumb fucking hipster fanny pack for $32.00 or a photo book he made about Haiti or a poster which says “Sleep. Dream. Wake. Attack. Create. Fight. Fuck. Win. Sleep. […]

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Jared Leto As The Joker And Shit Around The Web

December 4, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Hipster pretty boy Jesus Jared Leto will be playing the Joker in the new Suicide Squad movie from DC Comics. This officially proves there is no God and adults who read comic books should be chemically castrated yesterday. Read all about the upcoming shitburger of a movie. (Huffington Post) Lindsay Lohan parlays her coke habit […]

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Jared Leto’s Cock And Shit Around The Web

August 19, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Alexis Arquette, the tranny Arquette sister I guess, claims that he schlobbled Jared Leto’s man parts and that it was wonderful. According to Arquette, Leto’s dick was like something out of the movie Gladiator. I’m not sure what the fuck that means. Does it look like Russell Crowe overacting? Read all about Jared’s throbbing Roman […]

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