leno has lower ratings than conan did

By brendon June 22, 2010 @ 12:18 PM

When NBC fired Conan O’Brien, they said his numbers sucked and Letterman was beating him and they were losing money. So they replaced him with Jay Leno. The bad news is that Leno gets even lower numbers than Conan did. The badder news is that Lenos comeback numbers have dropped and now he doesn’t beat Letterman either. So if NBC’s plan was to piss away 200 million dollars on a complete clusterfuck, mission accomplished!

For the first week since Jay Leno’s Tonight Show return, he was tied by David Letterman’s Late Show, as both shows averaged a 0.9 adults 18-49 rating for the week of June 7-11. Coming off a week of repeats for both shows, Leno fell a tenth of a point and Letterman gained two tenths.

Conans biggest problem may have been that he started too great. His debut had 2.3 million viewers. Lenos comeback debut had 1.5. So when both settled in to a normal range (of a million or so), Conans drop was more dramatic. TV by the numbers has two charts, and the first shows Conan vs Leno in the same sequential weeks of their run as host, and it shows that Conan has had better numbers for a month now.

That put Leno’s Tonight Show two tenths of a ratings point below Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show, comparing the ratings for each show’s fifteenth week.
(Leno) was 0.6 ratings points below the same calendar week of Conan’s Tonight Show ratings last summer.

Sources say NBC executives are taking the news is stride, and by that I mean they’re hopelessly lost and confused. One of them tried to fuck a dog the other day.

Tags: conan o brien, david letterman, jay leno |

62 Comments

did conan screw over george lopez? no.

By brendon April 12, 2010 @ 4:14 PM

When NBC approached Jay Leno about doing a 30 minute show at 11:30 and bumping ‘the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien’ to 12:05 (note to nbc: it’s not exactly “tonight” at that point anymore, is it?), Jay did the honorable thing and asked if Conan was ok with the move. But then it turns out Conan wasn’t okay with the move, and Leno just did it anyway because he’s a piece of shit.

So why would Conan essentially do the exact same thing to George Lopez? Well, he wouldn’t. TMZ says…

…the idea of bringing Conan to TBS was hatched by Turner’s entertainment chief Steve Koonin. We’re told Koonin went to George Lopez and said he would only approach Conan if George gave his blessing. We’re told George immediately figured out that having Conan as an 11:00 PM lead-in would be nothing short of amazing for a midnight show. With Lopez on board, we’re told Koonin then approached Conan with the idea. Conan’s first reaction — he didn’t want to do to someone else what was done to him, referring to NBC’s decision to blindside Conan. Koonin told Conan that George had signed off, but Conan wanted to make sure. George then called Conan to reassure him he was on board and thought they would be great partners. As for why Conan chose TBS …. the average age of a “Lopez Tonight” viewer is 33, decades younger than the other late-night shows. TBS is the future … so thought Conan.

Actually that’s almost half the age of a Leno viewer (average age: 56). This might explain NBC’s “in living color” motto. Color TV is still a novelty to people who watch NBC, but they like it. They also agree that blacks shouldn’t be allowed to vote, and for fun they shake their fist across the Atlantic at the Kaiser. The new late night NBC motto should be, “Now with 50 percent less of those dirty Irish”.

(EDITORS NOTE: I assume when someone sees the words “Conan O’Brien”, they know who that refers to. So I don’t really see the point in having a hundred pictures of the guy. So instead here’s 54 pictures of hot girls photographing themselves in the mirror, often naked, thus making your online experience more exciting!)

conan is moving to tbs

By brendon April 12, 2010 @ 2:07 PM

Ever since the dimwitted inbreds at NBC fired Conan O’Brien and replaced him with lying scumbag Jay Leno, it’s been assumed he would eventually move over to Fox and go head-to-head with Leno at 11:30. But Fox is also run by idiots (I hate you), so Conan fans weren’t real happy about that either. Luckily…

(Conan) is joining TBS to host a late-night show that is expected to debut in November. O’Brien’s show will be followed on TBS’ schedule by George Lopez’s “Lopez Tonight,” which will move to midnight.
“In three months I’ve gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theater, and now I’m headed to basic cable,” O’Brien said in the statement. “My plan is working perfectly.”

Well I think Conan is being sarcastic but this seems like a really good fit. NBC sucks. No one watches that shit. Seriously, their motto is, “Brought to you in living color”. Their shows are so shitty the nicest thing they can think to say is that at least they’re not in black and white. That’s like someone showing you a picture of their stupid baby and all you can think to compliment is the hat it’s wearing. “Oh, it’s a stork with a football. That’s … that’s great.” NBC’s motto might as well be, “This channel is free”.

Tags: conan o brien, jay leno |

72 Comments

jay leno is a lying scumbag

By brendon April 01, 2010 @ 2:51 PM

Jay Leno told Joy Behar (wait what) that both he and Conan O’Brien got screwed by NBC, and considering Jay never should have been fired in the first place, he has a good point. Except that he made it backstage at ‘the Tonight Show’, and he just glosses over why Conan got screwed, so go fuck yourself Jay.

NBC took him off ‘Tonight’ even though he had been in first place for years, because NBC is run by bumbling retards. That’s why they’re in last place and why they lose hundreds of millions of dollars a year. He never should have been fired. Once Conan took over, Lenos no-compete clause prevented him from doing a show on another network, so he did the prime time show. For that, he negotiated a 150 million dollar buyout. If NBC wanted to take him off the air, they owed him one hundred. And fifty. Million. Dollars. That’s an impossible number that NBC could never afford, so he got the Tonight Show back, which is what he wanted all along.

People around Hollywood don’t hate Leno because his jokes suck. Actually that’s a bad example, but they also hate him because he’s cartoonishly evil. When not on camera he probably waves his hook around and yells, “Bring me Peter Pan!”

Tags: conan o brien, jay leno |

101 Comments

letterman and kimmel > leno

By brendon March 17, 2010 @ 9:09 AM

The great Jimmy Kimmel was a guest on Letterman last night, and he and Dave of course talked about the thing they have most in common; hatred of Jay Leno. Sadly Leno’s ratings have been better than expected but not as good as they used to be. I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise. He’s perfect for late night, because he doesn’t do anything that would force people to think. It’s mindless nothing, like how people use a metronome to calm down or go to sleep. He’s like that, except not as funny.

Tags: david letterman, jay leno, jimmy kimmel |

116 Comments

everyone hates jay leno

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 5:42 PM

NBC fired Conan O’Brien as host of the Tonight Show because he couldn’t beat David Letterman, something Jay Leno had done for years. So NBC made a tough choice, and even though they would lose hundreds of millions of dollars, they decided to bring Leno back so he could be number 1 in late night again! And the plan worked! For 6 days!

For the first time since Jay Leon returned to 11:30, The Tonight Show trailed Late Show in the early metered market numbers (3.5 rating for Letterman versus 3.2 for Leno). In the 25 markets with local People Meters Leno held a slim edge with adults 18-49, but he did yesterday as well and when the numbers for the broader national market were factored in, Late Show wound up leading Tonight Show in the 18-49 demo, too.

This is no surprise of course, because it’s NBC. Their own website (click the “shows” tab) is filled with such sadness and failure, it’s almost like they’re being sarcastic. They have 12 “Classic Shows”, and two of those aired on CBS. Every single show on their “Recent Favorites” was canceled almost instantly, and I never even heard of 4 of them.

There are only two qualifications to be on a list called “Current Shows”. Be “current”, and a “show” a viewer could watch. NBC lists the Olympics twice and the Golden Globes, which are neither. I don’t mean to brag but I think I could do a better job at running NBC than the people they have now. I at least understand where I am in time, which is more than they could say.