The most powerful Black man in America, Jay-Z, not only doesn’t care that Cubans in Miami are pissed at him for going to Cuba but he also is flippant about getting his buddy Barack Obama into trouble. Last week Mr. Beyonce and Beyonce got into some Cuban Missile Crisis level shitstorm when they visited the island nation that is off limits to most Americans. Jay-Z rapped in a new song about the controversy:
Politicians never did s**t for me … except lie to me, distort history. Obama said chill ‘You gonna get me impeached. We don’t need this s**t anyway chill with me on the beach.
Wow, a real Robert Frost. Jay-Z’s obvious implication being that the president helped him get his ass onto Cuba.
Here’s a little secret: it’s easy as fuck to get onto Cuba. You can just hit Mexico or some other middle country airport and use cash to buy a ticket to Cuba. Almost nobody gets caught doing this because nobody outside of Washington D.C. and Miami gives a rat’s ass if you want to go to Cuba to get cheap hookers and booze. But the Beyonces are parents now and wanted to do everything legal-like, so they called up Obama and called in a favor for mugging at so many of his fundraisers over the years. And who should really care? As a Cuban-American I was born and bred to hate those Castro mutherfuckers and I hope they smoke a turd in hell for all eternity. Still, isn’t it time to just say fuck it and let Southwest Airlines get you down to Havana by way of Kansas City and Midway with an equipment change in Charlotte?
Jay-Z and Beyoncé spent last week in Cuba, celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary with some family members and close friends, and because they’re Jay-Z and Beyoncé people went absolutely apeshit wherever they went. And now, because Cuba is a place governed by a horrible old piece of shit, American politicians and anti-Castro Cubans in South Florida are calling for music’s royal couple to be torn to pieces by starved lions.
Florida Republicans Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and Mario Diaz-Balart (whose aunt was Fidel Castro’s first wife) wrote a letter to the Treasury Department asking why the hell two American celebrities were allowed to spend their American money in Cuba while that embargo deal is still alive and well.
The letter points out that “tourist activities” are covered by the ban and complains that the trip was used by the Castro regime for propaganda purposes.
“The restrictions on tourism travel are common-sense measures meant to prevent US dollars from supporting a murderous regime that opposes US security interests at every turn and which ruthlessly suppresses the most basic liberties of speech, assembly and belief,” the politicians write. (The Guardian)
This is going to be really interesting, because South Florida’s Cuban community doesn’t take this kind of stuff lightly at all, and some of those people will devote the rest of their lives to reminding us on a daily basis that Jay-Z and Beyoncé are assholes. On the other hand, Jay-Z and Beyoncé have more money than God, so they’ll probably throw a free concert in Miami and have the Illuminati use their Men in Black mind eraser on everyone.
The Brooklyn Nets will play in the newly built Barclays Center next season, but the very first event will be tonight when Jay-Z does the first of 8 shows in the $4.9 billion sports arena, business and residential complex.
Call it his official homecoming: Jay-Z will perform at the newly built Barclays Center in Brooklyn on Friday night.
The rapper is the co-owner of the Brooklyn Nets (and the) Brooklyn-born Jay-Z will christen the venue, which holds 18,000 seats.
Jay-Z will perform at Barclays through Oct. 6 with the exception of Oct. 2.
That, and this Wall Street Journal article with the headline, “Jay-Z: Bringing Nets to Brooklyn an American dream”, and his buddy Kanye writing lyrics about Kris Humphries that say, “Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team”, pretty much imply that Jay Z runs the Nets.
In reality he only owns one-fifteenth of one percent (that’s 0.00066666666 percent) of the team. Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov owns 80 percent (and half of Barclays Center). And he didn’t bring them to Brooklyn either. That was already the idea before Jay was ever approached about being an investor. Basically this is like Jay Z bought a plane ticket on Delta and then took credit when it landed.
Kim Kardashian is still desperate to parlay her relationship with Kanye West into a friendship with Beyonce and Jay Z, so she reportedly spent $5,000 on a gold bracelet with pink and white diamonds for their daughter Blue Ivy, and then engraved it with a very presumptuous, “Love Auntie Kim.”
Guess how that went over.
“They have been friends for five minutes, but already Kim is trying to force herself into Beyonce’s life,” a source told The Enquirer.
“Despite Kim’s sex tape and bad marriages, Beyonce had been warming to her based on her charming demeanor and romance with Kanye, who’s a good friend.
“But she certainly doesn’t consider Kim family in any way, shape or form – and for her to suggest that closeness really put Beyonce off.”
Ok fine that’s The Enquirer, so who knows, but it does sorta fit with a report in the new issue of Life & Style that says Kim is “not allowed to talk about” Beyonce or Jay-Z in public.
“She’d be kicked out of the clique so quickly if she made any misstep,” the insider explained. “Kim has to earn everyone’s trust.”
Wait. Does Kim Kardashian have any friends? Now that I think about it, in 10 years I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with anyone but Paris Hilton, Reggie Bush, and Kris Humprhies. Who all hate her now. Other than that she’s always with her family. That’s the same way rats and dingoes live, by the way. Hint hint, Kanye.
During his ‘Watch the Throne’ tour with Jay Z in Paris last night, Kanye West, seen here in a field of lasers, stopped the show because someone was using a laser. Yeah I don’t know either. This seems stupid even for Kanye.
“You see this guy right here with the green laser,” Kanye asked. “Don’t fuck up everybody’s show. It’s not a fucking game.”
“You’re gonna get fucked up and kicked out, and all that shit. Chill the fuck out.”
Ok but in that guys defense, Kanye really was sending mixed signals when it came to his feelings about lasers.
Kanye West and Jay Z brought their ‘Watch the Throne’ tour to Paris over the weekend, a city fancy enough to attract their friend Gwyneth Paltrow, and since subtly isn’t really their thing, they performed ‘Niggas in Paris’ 11 times. And at some point, Paltrow made note of this.
Keeping in mind that Gwyneth Paltrow is an idiot, that probably took a while, like Homer hearing “Dental plan!” “Lisa needs braces.” in his head over and over. Except in this case it was Paltrow with a blank look on her face hearing the voices of a doorman and Jay Z.
“Got my niggas in Paris.”
“Got my niggas in Paris.”
“Got my niggas in Paris.”
Until eventually Paltrow gasped out loud and quickly fumbled for her phone to share her astounding tweet-worthy observation.