By Travis August 02, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Actresses always seem a little more attractive than they actually are when they play strippers, prostitutes or just plain, old sluts, and it never hurts when they curse like they’ve got Tourette’s. But it’s still weird to see Jennifer Aniston playing a stripper in We’re the Millers, because while she looks really hot in her bra and boy shorts, she’s still the same woman who cried about Brad Pitt for the last 80 or so years and expects people to care about her stupid wedding to that guy, whatshisface.
Maybe if she threw in a scene with a cucumber or a Sybian I’d be a little more interested. Call me picky, I guess.
By Lex July 29, 2013 @ 1:03 PM
Jennifer Aniston likes being engaged, going on for a year now with no real marriage pending.
“We just want to do it when it’s perfect, and we’re not rushed, and no one is rushing from a job or rushing to a job. And, you know, we already feel married.”
Wow, Justin Theroux. Get the fuck out. Now. Sure, you can call this liberating for the dude as he gets to plow Jennifer Aniston without having to marry her. But that’s regular guy’s logic. Jennifer Aniston is no gold digger. She’s got all the gold. She’s just keeping you wrapped up in an engagement prison of her long and complex baggage. Those berating screams assaulting your left ear when you look at another woman. Yeah, those aren’t going away, pal. Your fiancee loves being engaged like she likes holding your nuts in her designer clutch. GTFO now.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Splash
By Lex July 24, 2013 @ 1:11 PM
Jennifer Aniston is making another movie. She makes a lot of movies. I think she must be really nice or she has dirt on important people or something because she’s not particularly good or memorable in any and they don’t ever seem to make any money. Maybe the cast and crew just like staring at her nipples. I once hired a guy because he promised to bring his homemade beef jerky to work. Just writing that makes wish my own story involved a good looking woman and nipples.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN
By Lex July 17, 2013 @ 3:15 PM
Who can get enough of the Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux relationship chatter? Not I. Will they marry for real? Is Jennifer still haunted by Brad? Can Justin Theroux find a day job? All quite thrilling. Though I’d trade it all in a heartbeat if Jennifer would just pull back her top a bit and show us her tits.
Photo Credit: INF, Splash
By Lex May 23, 2013 @ 12:33 PM
I’m not sure how many movies Jennifer Aniston is in where she plays a woman who almost flashes her tits. Rough guess. Every single one. She likes to tease the press by talking about how she will be topless in her next movie. And then the press talks about how brave she is. First, jumping on a grenade is brave. Flashing your tits is relatively easy. Second, Jennifer is a liar. Brad Pitt came out this week and said his marriage to Jennifer Aniston was boring. He blames himself and too much weed, but I’m guessing having a girl who makes empty sexual promises over and over again can lead to boredom. Or taking off to rail Angelina Jolie whose sexual promises were always kept.
Jennifer Aniston plays a stripper in We’re the Millers. Here’s the Red Band trailer.
By Lex May 01, 2013 @ 12:07 PM
Jennifer Aniston has a million things she wants to tell you about how to stay good looking into your middle years. It mostly involves holistic medicines, Asian aromatherapies, and never letting that bitch cunt Angelina Jolie ruin your wedding day. Oh, only she did. It’s amazing how one crazy ass anorexic can be the bane of your existence, I mean, unless you’re married to her yourself, but Angelina continues to haunt Jen’s desperate attempts at ever being loved again. Aww.
Jennifer has put her wedding plans to that guy with the beard on complete hold now that Angelina and Brad have suddenly announced their own wedding plans after eight years and six Benetton kids. I don’t get girl feuds, but I know they exist. I know they’re ugly. And I know Angelina is still winning.
Here’s Jennifer at a book signing showing off her cleavage. Angelina quickly fired off an email to Jen asking her if she knows what Brad likes to do to her tits when he’s randy.
Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, WENN