By brendon October 27, 2011 @ 10:59 AM
Just yesterday Jennifer Aniston told a magazine that she was not pregnant and had no plans to get married. So does that mean she’s already married? Probably not, no, but Star is gonna tell you that anyway.
It just came out this morning so there’s no story to go along with that cover but you get the idea. She eloped, no friends, no pre-nup. And it’s that sense of desperation that makes this so plausible. Jennifer Aniston is like a rich version of those girls who become pen-pals with prisoners. She just wants anyone, literally anyone, to date her. Sorry about the planet being so small, Jen.
By brendon October 18, 2011 @ 3:21 PM
Jennifer Aniston wore this little dress last night at ELLE magazines 18th annual Women in Hollywood tribute. Way to sex yourself up Jenn, way to stand out, good job. I bet you were a big hit in a room filled with earths cattiest bitches.
(source = getty)
By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 6:59 PM
This guy in Hollywood today said he’s homeless because of Jennifer Aniston, and though he didn’t go into details, NONE NEEDED! Jennifer Ansiton is a mean cunt. I believe this guy. I think he might be Tate Donovan. How many more have to join him before we stand up to her!
(image source = fame)
By brendon September 21, 2011 @ 12:24 PM
Long story short; Jennifer Aniston is a dull witted bore, and Brad Pitt insinuated as much in Parade magazine, which of course made her go all apeshit. Us says…
Brad Pitt made a big-time boo-boo (in) a Parade interview in which he casually slammed his five-year marriage to Jennifer Aniston
And, yes, his 42-year-old ex-wife got wind of the catty comment. “She was annoyed,” a pal (said). “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”
Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic” and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.
“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act.”
Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”
Still, the Pitt source says, “no one believes his words were taken out of context — he said what he said. I do hear that he’s remorseful.”
And although Pitt is clearly blissed out with Jolie, 36, and their six kids, “We think he’s jealous she’s in love,” the source says.
Hahaha, hahaha. Yeah, yeah that’s totally it. Brad Pitt is jealous of Anistons C-list boyfriend who’s name I dont feel like looking up because who cares. And the Patriots are jealous of the Chiefs too. By the way, name anything Jennifer Aniston has ever done that was interesting in any way. For example, here are some things Angelina Jolie has done in the past 12 months:
– Secretly went to Ramstein Air Force base in Germany to visit injured American troops (more).
– Visited the Tunisian-Libyan border as part of her role as a UN ambassador (more).
– Went to Pakistan with the UN Human Refugee Agency “to draw the world’s attention towards the plight of 21 million people affected by the country’s worst-ever floods.” (more)
– Moved out of their mansion in France and into a mansion in Scotland (more).
And here’s a list for Aniston…
– Got ripped off by a vending machine.
– Saw a pelican.
Brad Pitt has some nerve!
By brendon September 15, 2011 @ 4:46 PM
In an interview that comes out this weekend in Parade magazine, Brad Pitt confirms what everyone already suspected; that Jennifer Aniston is a soul-crushing bore.
After saying how he loves his life now (with Angelina Jolie and their 6 kids) he adds that wasn’t always the case.
“I spent the ’90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony,” he admits. “I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.”
“I think that my marriage had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.”
“…I wasn’t living an interesting life … I think that my marriage had something to do with it.”
Oohh, you don’t say. You didn’t want to talk about her haircut anymore? That’s hard to believe. As soon as she said she had to use the restroom on our very first date I would have run out of the restaurant like Indiana Jones diving out of the cave right before that big boulder got him.
Penn Badgley probably knew that Jennifer Aniston plays a dentist who is always sexually harassing her tech in the movie ‘Horrible Bosses’, but it seems he didn’t know that he gets mentioned by name before he went to see it yesterday with his girlfriend, Zoe Kravitz.
An awkward moment happened when Jennifer Aniston quips, “Did you see ‘Gossip Girl’ last night? I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy that I broke a nail.” Our source said, “The look on Penn’s face was priceless. They left the theater right after that.”
Wait. Your nails aren’t supposed to even hit anything. How did she break one? Was she stabbing herself in the vagina, is that what this scene is suggesting? Making Jennifer Anistons no doubt beaten and bruised vagina all scratched and bloody as well? Jesus I’m surprised more people didn’t leave, what is this, a snuff film?
(image source = inf)