no one likes Jennifer Aniston, part 2

By brendon February 22, 2012 @ 10:27 PM

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Jennifer Aniston was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame today, and by “honored” I mean she bought it from the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce $30,000. She still has no friends however, so it was up to Malin Akerman to give a speech for her, even though they had never met until she co-starred with her in ‘Wanderlust’. Granted Adam Sandler is in these pictures too, but I’m assuming he wasn’t when they were taken and she just paid someone to photoshop him in later.

youll never guess who Jennifer Ansiton brings up

By brendon February 08, 2012 @ 11:54 AM

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Jennifer Aniston tells the March issue of InStyle that she’s tired of seeing magazines talking about her and Brad Pitt for no reason. Magazines such as the March issue of InStyle, which has an interview where Jennifer Aniston starts talking about Brad Pitt for no reason.

“There are so many [misconceptions about me],” Jen says, adding that the most annoying one is “the triangle with my ex-husband — and that there’s a feud there.”
“It’s constant,” she adds. “It’s a story headline that won’t go away, but it’s a money thing – [people make money off] a story that has nothing to do with reality.”

She then goes on to explain that Pitt has no place in her heart anymore, except for being the gold standard that all other men are measured against.

But, Jen reassures fans that she is over that drama and ready to live out the rest of her life with a good man, whom she may have found in beau Justin Theroux. 
“Having experienced everything you don’t want in a partner over time, it starts to narrow down what you actually do want,” Jen admits. “As I get older, I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won’t settle for.”

Wow she’s a real role model for the ladies out there. Before her current boyfriend, guys kept leaving to go bang someone better, and it was then that Jennifer started to wonder if the relationship was working. So she just let them go. Granted the guys didn’t know it because they were long gone by then, but she really put her foot down and said enough.

Jennifer Aniston got married. maybe.

By brendon October 27, 2011 @ 10:59 AM

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Just yesterday Jennifer Aniston told a magazine that she was not pregnant and had no plans to get married. So does that mean she’s already married? Probably not, no, but Star is gonna tell you that anyway.

It just came out this morning so there’s no story to go along with that cover but you get the idea. She eloped, no friends, no pre-nup. And it’s that sense of desperation that makes this so plausible. Jennifer Aniston is like a rich version of those girls who become pen-pals with prisoners. She just wants anyone, literally anyone, to date her. Sorry about the planet being so small, Jen.

Jennifer Aniston wore this

By brendon October 18, 2011 @ 3:21 PM

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Jennifer Aniston wore this little dress last night at ELLE magazines 18th annual Women in Hollywood tribute. Way to sex yourself up Jenn, way to stand out, good job. I bet you were a big hit in a room filled with earths cattiest bitches.

(source = getty)

I actually believe this

By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 6:59 PM

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This guy in Hollywood today said he’s homeless because of Jennifer Aniston, and though he didn’t go into details, NONE NEEDED! Jennifer Ansiton is a mean cunt. I believe this guy. I think he might be Tate Donovan. How many more have to join him before we stand up to her!

(image source = fame)

Jennifer Aniston demanded an apology

By brendon September 21, 2011 @ 12:24 PM

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Long story short; Jennifer Aniston is a dull witted bore, and Brad Pitt insinuated as much in Parade magazine, which of course made her go all apeshit. Us says

Brad Pitt made a big-time boo-boo (in) a Parade interview in which he casually slammed his five-year marriage to Jennifer Aniston
And, yes, his 42-year-old ex-wife got wind of the catty comment. “She was annoyed,” a pal (said). “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”
Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic” and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.
“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act.”
Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”
Still, the Pitt source says, “no one believes his words were taken out of context — he said what he said. I do hear that he’s remorseful.”
And although Pitt is clearly blissed out with Jolie, 36, and their six kids, “We think he’s jealous she’s in love,” the source says.

Hahaha, hahaha. Yeah, yeah that’s totally it. Brad Pitt is jealous of Anistons C-list boyfriend who’s name I dont feel like looking up because who cares. And the Patriots are jealous of the Chiefs too. By the way, name anything Jennifer Aniston has ever done that was interesting in any way. For example, here are some things Angelina Jolie has done in the past 12 months:

– Secretly went to Ramstein Air Force base in Germany to visit injured American troops (more).
– Visited the Tunisian-Libyan border as part of her role as a UN ambassador (more).
– Went to Pakistan with the UN Human Refugee Agency “to draw the world’s attention towards the plight of 21 million people affected by the country’s worst-ever floods.” (more)
– Moved out of their mansion in France and into a mansion in Scotland (more).

And here’s a list for Aniston…

– Got ripped off by a vending machine.
– Saw a pelican.

Brad Pitt has some nerve!