Jennifer Garner is adorable

By brendon October 07, 2011 @ 6:00 PM

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Jennifer Garner visited her daughters school in Santa Monica today, and despite the fact that she’s an instantly recognizable actress who is married to a very famous actor, when they gave her a sticker to wear as a name tag, she actually wore it (it says “Jennifer Affleck” if you cant tell).

And yes I realize that’s completely normal behavior and that’s the point. In Hollywood that’s astounding. Do you really think someone like Jennifer Aniston would do this? She’d rather die. Unless you wrote Jennifer Pitt on it, in which case she’d put it on immediately and then curl up on the floor and cry. Hahaha! We should do that! I hate that bitch!

(image source = fame)

Tuesday headlines, with Gaga on the Simpsons

By brendon August 23, 2011 @ 6:08 PM

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LADY GAGA – will play herself on ‘The Simpsons’, “to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob.” The message being: if you’re feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew)

WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT – were reportedly broken up, but this morning Wills son Trey tweeted that it wasn’t true, and now they’ve issued a statement saying, “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact.” Oohh. “Intact”. What a romantic word. I guess things really are going great. “My wife is very suitable”, Will went on to explain. (twitter, access hollywood)

MEGAN FOX – confirmed that she’s having the tattoo on her forearm of Marilyn Monroe removed, saying, “She was a negative person, she was disturbed, bipolar. I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.” Oh relax Megan. It’s not Ed Gein for Christs sake. (us)

BEN AFFLECK AND JENNIFER GARNER – are expecting their third child to go along with their daughters Violet, 5, and Seraphina, 2. No word yet on if its a boy or a girl, or what stripper/wish granting cartoon mouse they’ll name them after. (people)

Ben Affleck is patriotic (and site news!)

By brendon July 06, 2011 @ 6:14 PM

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Ben Affleck is from Boston of course, which is probably the most patriotic city we have, so of course he took his kids to the 4th of July parade in Brentwood on Monday. What’s surprising is that Jennifer Garner went along with him, because she’s from West Virginia, and people from West Virginia are communist sympathizers who hate America more than anything. I also heard they steal.

Speaking of Boston, that’s where I’ve been for the last 5 days. The plan was to post as normal but it turns out that Boston is absolutely awesome, and once I realized that I told the plan to go fuck itself. Everything is back to normal tomorrow though. Sweet dreams everyone.

xoxo
Brendon

Jennifer Garner is beating up Ben Affleck

By brendon June 03, 2011 @ 3:39 PM

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1. Ben Affleck and Blake Lively were co-stars in ‘the Town’.
2. While filming ‘the Town’, there was a rumor that Affleck was cheating on Jennifer Garner with Blake.
3. In the naked pictures of Blake that leaked this week, she has a temporary star tattoo on her neck, which was there for her character in ‘the Town’. Meaning she took the naked pictures, either for herself or someone else, while making the movie.
4. Affleck and Garner were in Brentwood yesterday, and now he has a black eye.
5. In this picture, Garner is looking back toward Affleck and his hands are close together. As if he pulled them in because he was flinching, similar to what people do if they think they’re about to get hit (again).

Conclusion: Ben Affleck is in an abusive relationship with Jennifer Garner. She hits him and he cries. Jennifer saw the pictures of Blake, knew they were taken for Ben and so she beat him up. And then he hid in the closet on the floor and called Matt Damon, and Matt said, “you have to leave her this time, you promised you would!” And through his tears Ben whispered, “I can’t, she’ll kill me if I try to leave!” Oh that poor man! Won’t someone help him!

(image source = fame)

stop doing that

By brendon November 11, 2009 @ 11:35 AM

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Jennifer Garner went to dinner at Madeo in Beverly Hills last night with Jessica Biel. I think. I think that’s Jennifer Garner. It might not be. Because this person is acting as if they’ve never seen a camera before. It’s like when they first pulled back the curtain on King Kong. If I were those photographers, I would turn and run as fast as my legs would carry me, because she is gonna grab the first living thing she can and kill it.

(source = fame and pacific coast)

is ben affleck cheating?

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 6:42 PM

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Just a few weeks ago there were pictures (here) of Ben Affleck on the set of ‘the Town’ (and not ‘Valentines Day’ as I said then. Someone was nice enough to send me an email about it but I’m far too stuck up to edit my mistakes) with Blake Lively, and they did anything but help the rumors that Ben was cheating on Jennifer Garner. Now comes this blind item:

Which A-lister couple’s relationship is on the rocks. Seems he is cheating with his much younger co-star and the wife is now trying to accompany the two on set as much as possible. She heard the rumors way before we did and is now hanging around to nip this thing in the bud. Not Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.

I don’t think it’s right, but if God didn’t want guys to cheat on their wives with Blake Lively, he should have thought of that before he made her rack so awesome. She’s got the firmest looking breasts I’ve ever seen. They just beg to be rubbed up and down. If Ben is innocent of all this, then I apologize. I also apologize if that was your sister I banged this weekend. She gets really clingy afterward, huh? What’s that all about?