ANOTHER BABY FOR AFFLECK AND GARNER?

By brendon June 13, 2007 @ 3:46 PM

CBB is one of many asking if Jennifer Garner might be pregnant for the second time with husband Ben Affleck, because of recent pictures that show Garner looking like it's a distinct possibility.  Which is amazing, because, umm … wow.  Their daughter Violet may grow up to be gorgeous – and it's possible because her mom is super hot – but she's off to a very very very very very bad start.  If that thing came crawling across the floor at me, I'd scream in terror and then drown it.  That's the kind of thing you see in movies right before a guy loads his crossbow and a Mexican woman makes the sign of the cross.

VIOLET AFFLECK MIGHT BE A GOBLIN

By brendon March 19, 2007 @ 1:03 PM

Thank god I'm not friends with Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, because one day they might hand me their baby and say, "Isn't she cute!!!"  And then I'd say "Uh … uh … uh …" and then throw the baby in the air and run away while they try to catch it.  Look at that baby fly!

SOMETIMES IT JUST DOESNT WORK

By brendon February 01, 2007 @ 7:35 AM

Ugly kids are the new black in Hollywood.  They're everywhere, everyone seems to have one these days.  So ironic.  Jennifer Garner is really pretty but it's easy to see how her features could have gone horribly wrong.  And by "easy to see", I mean "here's a picture that perfectly illustrates it".  I'm sure this kid is delightful but she looks like a damn goblin.



JENNIFER GARNER IS … UHH … HM.

By brendon November 30, 2006 @ 11:09 AM

For the life of me I can't figure out if Jennifer Garner is hot.  Sometimes she looks like the prettiest girl in the world, sometimes she looks like the prettiest guy in the world.  There's at least a 1 percent chance she has a penis tucked between her legs in these pictures from last night.  Every time I see her she looks just a little bit different.  This is exactly the kind of mistake a robot from the future would make.  Because they don't understand love.  Makes me wonder.  One minute she looks borderline hot, the next I'm ashamed and confused because I may have just been checking out the ass of a boy.