J-Lo Sings Happy Birthday To A Ruthless Dictator

By Michael July 01, 2013 @ 11:40 AM

Jennifer Lopez decided to take her mediocre singing talents and big ass to Turkmenistan to perform for ruthless dictator Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow. The “singer” performed at the behest of the China National Petroleum Corp, (which right there should have tipped her off that this wasn’t a United Way program). Berdimuhamedow was in attendance and she sang him happy birthday. Aw. Too bad that he’s a ruthless fucking dictator and Turkmenistan has one of the worst human rights records on the planet. J-Lo’s people quickly backtracked and said, “Had there been knowledge of human rights issues any kind, Jennifer would not have attended.” Really? You know how you gain that knowledge? Do a fucking Google search. Here, this is what I found in 5 seconds on Turkmenistan’s Wikipedia page:

“Turkmenistan has been widely criticized for human rights abuses…Turkmenistan had the 2nd worst press freedom conditions in the world, behind North Korea…Any opposition to the government is considered treason and punishable by life imprisonment…Arbitrary arrests and mistreatment of detained persons are common in Turkmenistan, as is torture to obtain confessions.”

Didn’t know, my ass. Didn’t care is more like it. Celebs do this kind of shit all the time for cash and prizes. Beyonce, Nelly Furtado, 50 Cent, Mariah Carey and Usher all performed for the Gadhafi family and then claimed to not know they were terrorist sponsoring fuckwad. Or how about all the douchenozzles like Sean Penn that suck up to guys like Castro and late comedian Hugo Chavez? Seriously, do you think that the team of people who handle these jerk-offs wouldn’t check these things out beforehand if they were really worried about not performing for murderers? They just hoped that they wouldn’t get caught. Now I have another fucking reason to hate J-Lo besides Maid in Manhattan.

Jennifer Lopez Ass Angers Brits (VIDEO)

By Lex May 29, 2013 @ 5:18 PM

Nobody complained about the stupidly sexual lyrics, the lip-synching, or the cheap-ass set, but apparently everybody in Britain is up in arms over Jennifer Lopez flashing her crotch and ass cheeks in some rubbery Spanx like leotard on Britain’s Got Talent. The Brits are investigating to see if further action is required. This could include fining the television network, blocking the performance from ever being re-aired, or telling a bunch of self-righteous annoying old British twats to shut the fuck up.

Grammy Crasher Faces J-Lo Fury and Now The Pokie

By Steve G. April 17, 2013 @ 9:38 AM

Looks like the Grammy show crasher, Vitalii Seduk, might be going to jail. He was charged with entering a performance area and interfering with performers. Both counts carry maximum jail times of six months and fines of up to $1,000. Try entering a performance area at a strip club and you’ll end up with far worse punishment. Trust me.

I’ve never watched the Grammys in my life, so I had to research what this guy actually did. And piece after piece on the matter mentioned how Jennifer Lopez “saved the day” or “boldly blocked the stage crasher”. Then I saw the video. Am I missing something? People made it out like the guy was the god damn Joker crashing Bruce Wayne’s fundraiser when he was nothing more than a minor annoyance. His entire goal was to get on stage and he did that, once he was there he just ran out of material.  So let’s save the praise of the great J-lo because she did as good a job blocking Vitalii Sediuk as Jackie O did the bullets.

Here’s Vitalii last year kissing Will Smith on the MIB3 red carpet in Moscow and receiving a bitch slap from Will for his efforts…

Jennifer Lopez is in a bikini, still an awful person

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 12:03 PM


These pictures of Jennifer Lopez and her sycophants I mean friends in bikinis on a yacht in Miami yesterday are kinda blurry, which is for the best because they’re pictures of Jennifer Lopez in a bikini. And her ass looks even more enormous when she wraps a towel around it. Can that really be just her ass under there? It looks like she’s shoplifitng.

(image source = fame/flynet, inf, bauer-griffin)

Jennifer Lopez had a maid fired for asking for her autograph

By brendon November 06, 2012 @ 5:12 PM


The snide comments by Google Translate about her looks are uncalled for, but the German newspaper Bild is is reporting that Jennifer Lopez had a maid at her hotel in Duesseldorf fired after “it” asked for an autograph, something that seems like a very Jennifer Lopez thing to do.

Pray Dodaj (43) told BILD: “I have cleaned on her floor. And I am so incredibly big fan, so I took all my courage and rang the bell to get just an autograph.” But the door is Dodaj politely rejected by two assistants …
Later, “One day I called the cleaning company that employed me at the hotel. They said that Ms. Lopez complained. I was right on the phone canceled! Because an autograph!”

Since when do ze Germans take orders from some Puerto Rican! Hitler must be rolling in his grave! And after everything he’s done for them, too.

Jennifer Lopez had a little accident

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 2:01 PM


That headline makes it sound like she pee’d on herself, and who knows maybe she did (I do, she did), but while Jennifer Lopez was singing one of her incredible hit songs last night at the O2 in London, her dress stretched a little too far (oh I wonder why that happened) and you could see her nipple.

And it’s weird looking. I’ve seen nipples before-mostly on TV but also in person-and they don’t look like this. That looks more like ET is peering out of her dress.

(image source = pacific coast, getty)