Jennifer Lopez’s Manager Isn’t Going to be Jennifer Lopez’s Manager Much Longer

By author March 16, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

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Benny Medina is a high powered manager of celebrity clientele with a resume boasting not only JLo, but also Diddy and Tyra Banks amongst others. His rise to power most likely came from his ability to handle the gentle egos of pop stars by tactfully responding to the press about sensitive personal issues. Here’s his response to a question about Lopez’s boyfriend who is 18 years younger than her, via New York Post:

The thing that I always sort of wished is that she would give herself time to just naturally meet someone, instead of having obsessive guys pursue her,” says Medina. “The ease with which that obsession becomes a relationship I think sometimes works against her ability to have a real meaningful relationship.

Nicely done. So, JLo likes a completely superficial facade of a relationship based solely on a young man’s desire to boast to his friends about hitting that from behind. Check out the kid gloves Medina used on his past clients:

On Diddy’s famous “White Parties”:

I’ve always wanted to plan a lavish affair without having to be subtle about how much cocaine will be around, but I’ve never had anyone willing to attach their name to it.

On singer Brandy’s transportation needs:

Never, under any circumstances, give her the keys to anything with an engine.

Did I include shots of how Marc Anthony’s penis has been passing the time since JLo starting here? Yes, yes I did.

(Image Source = Shannon De Lima’s Twitter, Splash News)

Jennifer Lopez’s New Video Features Her Butt Prominently. You Don’t Say.

By author March 13, 2012 @ 4:30 PM

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Jennifer Lopez seems to be mainstay around here, so here she is in Acapulco yesterday shooting her new music video ‘Follow The Leader.’ If I had to guess (and of course I have to because I promise I’ll never listen to this awful mess), I’d say the song has something to do with being real or some type of feminine self-affirmation about being strong and/or independent. This is exactly the type of message that made pleather ass-pants and a midriff-baring club shirt practically the uniform of female empowerment. Maybe I’m being harsh, I mean, if this was inappropriate for a woman in her 40′s, she certainly wouldn’t have brought her son along with her, right? Oh, wait.

(Image Source = Splash News)

Jennifaa Yopez was crying

By brendon January 30, 2012 @ 1:44 PM

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Jennifer Lopez was on her balcony in Miami yesterday, and she must have gotten some bad news during this phone call because she ended up crying. And come to think of it I did call Jennifer Lopez yesterday pretending to be a doctor and told her that the lump we found is cancer. I wonder if it had to do with that.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Jennifaa Yopez esta en us bikini

By brendon January 27, 2012 @ 7:51 PM

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Jennifer Lopez was in Miami today, wearing a white swimsuit for a photo shoot, and she actually positioned herself and stood so only her ass was behind the wall and hidden from view. Either that or her fat ass is wedged in a doorway and she’s stuck.

Oh please oh please oh please oh please…

(image source = splash)

Is Jennifer Lopez a terrorist? Probably, yes.

By brendon January 13, 2012 @ 1:52 PM

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Until today, it was assumed that Jennifer Lopez was endorsing Fiat simply because she’s a greedy cunt, but new information reveals that her true motives may be much more sinsiter. *Dun-dun-dun…*

In an open letter to Lopez released on Thursday, the president for United Against Nuclear Iran (UANI) wrote: “By endorsing Fiat, you are serving as a spokesperson for a company that freely does business with Iran, a regime that is developing an illegal nuclear weapons program, financing and sponsoring terrorist groups including al-Qaeda, has killed American and NATO soldiers and is recognized as one of the world’s leading human rights violators.”
“(Fiat also) produces vehicles that are reportedly used by the Iranian regime as platforms to stage gruesome public executions.”

UANI does say they don’t believe Lopez actually supports al-Qaeda and Iran, but they need to open their eyes. Jennifer Lopez clearly hates America and wants our soldiers to be murdered. If nothing else we should have a SEAL team grab her and find out what she knows. I’m sure she’ll deny it at first (they’re trained to do that) but maybe a little torture will loosen her tongue. And if I’m wrong, hey, no harm done.

Jennifaa Yopez used a double in her Fiat commercial

By brendon November 23, 2011 @ 2:34 PM

Everyone knows that Jennifer Lopez is a stuck-up cunt, so the new Fiat commercials that show her driving through the Bronx and reconnecting with her roots are right on the verge of insulting. The ones where she says…

“This is my world. This place inspires me to be tougher, to stay sharper, to think faster. They may be just streets to you, but to me, they’re a playground.”

And by that she apparently meant, “a scary playground, with broken equipment. That’s why I sent a body double to film my commercial while I stayed in Beverly Hills, where it’s safe, and fancy.”

The Smoking Gun says…

While Lopez (would) have consumers believe she returned to the gritty streets of her hometown, she actually never set foot in the Bronx during the filming of the Fiat spots.
Instead, the role of “Jenny from the Block” was played by a body double.
While the Lopez lookalike was actually behind the wheel in the Bronx, Lopez herself was in Los Angeles, where she was filmed inside a Fiat 500.
The shots of the actress were artfully merged to make it appear that she was tooling around New York City’s poorest borough.

Well you have to keep in mind that Lopez is a big star and accustomed to the very best. That’s why I picked out some nice rocks to throw at her head and painted them gold.