By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 11:24 AM
From the moment that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced that they were ending their 7 year marriage, there have been rumors that it was because Anthony was cheating. Most notably with Jada Pinkett, which reportedly ended her marriage to Will Smith. This all seems reasonable because Jennifer Lopez is a mean bitch and everyone hates her, but he tells ABC News the real reason for the divorce was way less interesting.
“I’ll tell you that it wasn’t something sensationalistic happening,” Anthony said.
Although tabloids claimed that he broke up their 7-year-old marriage with affairs, Anthony says, “absolutely not.” The reason for their break-up, he says, was much simpler. Their marriage just no longer “worked.”
“It was a realization on both our parts. So you know it wasn’t shocking. These things happen,” he said. ”It was a decision that we made jointly.”
“This is not a funeral. this is not a burial. This is just two people who came together and just realized — and so I’m saying that it wasn’t sustainable the way it was, and that’s that.”
Interesting choice of words, because there would very definitely have been a funeral and a burial if I were married to that cunt for 7 years. At the very least I’d cheat on her constantly just to stay sane. I’d go to Puerto Rico or wherever it is she’s from and get a new prostitute with a big ass every night and call her Jennifer and choke the hell out of her.
Oh crap, is this being published? I should probably re-write that last part.
By brendon August 24, 2011 @ 4:50 PM
As you no doubt heard, the new issue of In Touch came out yesterday and claimed that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were separating after 13 years of marriage. Will and Jada quickly issued the worlds least convincing denial, but if they had known what the article actually said (via Gossip Cop), they probably wouldn’t have even bothered.
The magazine alleges that Jada “destroyed” Anthony’s marriage to Jennifer Lopez (as well as her own) by sneaking around with Anthony behind her husband’s back.
Will supposedly uncovered her “ultimate betrayal” when he caught Jada with Anthony (her “HawthoRNe” co-star) in the Smiths’ Hidden Hills mansion.
Smith’s “suspicions” were “painfully confirmed” when he came to the house unannounced “under the cover of darkness” … Smith “left the house crying” and was “very upset” because Anthony was supposedly inside with Jada.
The following day “it was as if all hell had broken loose” with Jada moving some of her belongings out of the couple’s home and Will allegedly firing staffers he suspected of “covering up” for her.
Oohh, yeah, yeah, and after that JLo and Jada wrestled and fell into the pool at the country club, while Willow fell deeper under the spell of the schools new bad boy Jericho Hawk, and other insane shit that only happens on General Hospital.
By brendon August 24, 2011 @ 11:37 AM
Jennifer Lopez filmed a sexy new music video in Miami yesterday, so when it comes out and you see this part, where guys are no doubt tripping over themselves because she’s so hot, keep in mind that 20 minutes before they filmed it she was in her trailer taking a deep breath and mushing her stomach together while a team of assistants lifted up her ass and pulled on her girdle. Because under that dress she’s wrapped in a blood pressure cuff to lock everything in place so it won’t slosh back and forth like a lava lamp when she danced.
(image source = fame)
Jennifer Lopez turned 42 yesterday, so needless to say she acted like a pretentious cunt. Meaning she rented a lavish yacht in Miami, surrounded herself with sycophants, and danced around in a bikini top on the main deck so everyone could see her and the paparazzi could take crystal clear pictures. I’m sure she thought she looked sexy but between that dumb thing on her head, her sickly flat boobs and her giant ass, it looks more like a photo shoot arranged by someone who secretly hates her.
(image source = inf)
By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 12:50 PM
The most surprising part about Fridays announcement that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were getting a divorce after 7 years was that anyone was able to put up with Jennifer Lopez for 7 years. Everyone hates that bitch, and they’re completely right in doing so.
So how did Marc Anthony do it? Well having sex with random flight attendants probably helped sooth his nerves.
In the new Us Weekly, a source says that Anthony, 42, hooked up with a flight attendant he met aboard a private plane in 2009.
“Marc and Jennifer almost split up over it,” the source tellsUs of the couple, parents to 3-year-old twins Emme and Max.
Seconds another insider: “Jennifer was going to leave him then, but Marc begged her to stay. They went to marriage counseling and she decided to give it another shot. He was someone she truly loved.”
My favorite part of this is that I doubt Marc Anthony could afford a private plane, so JLo paid for it, and then he used it to get laid. Good for him. She’s a horrible bitch. He could have drugged her, laid her in bed and then banged some strippers right next to her for all I care, and then just say he has no idea why she woke up with glitter and cum in her hair.
(image source = getty and bauer griffin)
The big celebrity news over the weekend was that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced on Friday that they were ending their 7 year marriage and getting a divorce. And if you nodded your head and thought, “yes, I agree, that is a very important story”, well then I fucking hate you.
“We have decided to end our marriage,” they tell PEOPLE in a joint statement. “This was a very difficult decision. We have come to an amicable conclusion on all matters.”
“It is a painful time for all involved,” the statement continues, “and we appreciate the respect of our privacy at this time.”
Lopez, 41, and Anthony, 42, wed in June 2004 in a casual – and secret – ceremony at Lopez’s Beverly Hills home.
Uhh, can anyone remind me why the hell we’re supposed to pretend like these two are big stars? ‘American Idol’ pulled Lopez from the brink of obscurity, even though everyone very justifiably hates that cunt. But at least this will free up time for Marc Anthony to focus on his career. Look out Rico Suave, Marc is hot on your heels and comin for your gigs.