Mariah Carey “in serious talks” to judge American idol

By brendon July 13, 2012 @ 1:05 PM

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Unfettered by their experience with demanding pain in the ass Jennifer Lopez, Us.com says ‘American Idol’ producers want demanding pain in the ass Mariah Carey to replace her as a judge next season.

If anyone could handle her it should be Randy Jackson (he’s her manager) but this supports previous reports that the plan is to clean house and get 3 all new judges, so he’ll be gone too.

“They are in serious talks with Mariah and it’s very close to being a done deal,” the source says. “And they will move Randy into a more mentoring role.”
The insider added that show producers are scrambling to fill the other two slots alongside Carey; other celebs who have been considered to sit at the judges’ table include Fergie and Adam Lambert.

If nothing else Mariah would be on time more than Lopez. All they’d have to do is send someone to stand outside her house dressed up as a chocolate chip cookie and she’d chase him to the studio.

(image source of mariah in london on june 25 = wenn)

Steven Tyler is leaving ‘American Idol’

By brendon July 12, 2012 @ 5:08 PM

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Giving credence to the rumor that ‘American Idol’ will have three all new judges next season, Henifaa Yopez told the Today show this morning that “maybe it’s time for me to go”, and now Steven Tyler–who could have dragged this out for months to be the center of attention like some media whores–has released a statement saying it’s definitely time for him to go.

“After some long … hard … thoughts … I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress American Idol before she boils my rabbit. I strayed from my first love, Aerosmith, and I’m back — but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band.”

Meanwhile, Randy Jackson is laying low, screening phone calls from Fox, and hoping no one remembers to deactivate his key card.

Jennifer Lopez wore a bikini, buried a man alive

By brendon June 26, 2012 @ 1:04 PM

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Jennifer Lopez and her boyfriend Casper Smart helped her twins Max and Emme bury someone up to his neck on the beach in Rio yesterday. It’s as if someone told her what it would take to get me to listen to a Jennifer Lopez song and she’s practicing.

(image source = pacific coast)

Marc Anthony must really miss Jennifer Lopez

By brendon May 21, 2012 @ 2:07 PM

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There’s no cure for a broken heart, but if there was it would probably say something about banging a busty model. Like Marc Anthony is with Venezuelan model Shannon De Lima, who is 24, one month after officially filing for divorce from Jennifer Lopez, who is 42.

Of course Shannon could never replace Lopez. Not unless she gains 50 pounds, starts wearing wigs, and throws a vase at the maid.

(image source of anthony and de lima at a fundraiser in los angeles last night for cedars-sinai hospital = getty)

Henifaa Yopez is leaving ‘American Idol’

By brendon May 16, 2012 @ 5:10 PM

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As was mentioned earlier, Jennifer Lopez has gone from the verge of obscurity to number 1 on the Forbes 100 in just 2 years, and she owes it all to ‘American Idol’ for making her relevant again.

So naturally, despite the fact that the show desperately wants her back for a third season, they can go fuck themselves and she’s just gonna bail. At least according to Marc Malkin of E!:

While J.Lo has publicly said she has yet to make a decision about her future on Idol, sources exclusively tell me that she she’s planning on calling it quits.
“She’s just too busy,” one source said.
I’m told Lopez will be on the road, at the very least, through the end of the year.
The next round of Idol auditions will begin while she’s overseas.

Obviously there’s a very real chance she put this out there herself to force Fox into giving her a raise. To which I feel a very justified response would be for Fox to beat her with bars of soap in a pillowcase.

Hennifaa Yopez tops the Forbes Celebrity 100

By brendon May 16, 2012 @ 1:00 PM

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Forbes announced the 2012 Celebrity 100 today, their annual ranking of the top 100 famous people. As in actors, producers, musicians, athletes, and whatever the hell Oprah Winfrey is, in a ranking that considers not just income but also overall media visibility. Here’s the top 5 and what they made last year:

1. Jennifer Lopez – $52 million
2. Oprah Winfrey – $165 million
3. Justin Bieber – $55 million
4. Rihanna – $53 million
5. Lady Gaga – $52 million

And to think, just 2 years ago we were almost rid of Lopez, a mean selfish bitch who was right on the verge of disappearing until ‘American Idol’ saved her. For no apparent reason. Even the guy who brought velociraptors back at least had a fucking reason!

(image source = the april issue of vogue)