Even though Jennifer Love Butter is a size 2, she’s always hiding her ass for some mysterious reason. Which is why, even though she spent the weekend in Hawaii with boyfriend Jamie Kennedy, these are the only pictures of her in a bikini. Kennedy went swimming, but she was busy “modeling”. Presumably for From The Neck Up Magazine because her other 95 percent is a complete mess.
Didn’t she used to have tits? No one part of her body matches any other. Skinny face, huge ass, thin legs. She’s just a bunch of different parts thrown together, like Frankenstein.
And I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but look at that poor bastards body language. He’s not hanging his head because he dropped something. Hot Sexy Roots just said, “Oh my God, you’re that guy from Scream. No way! Me and my girlfriends love you, you are so funny. What are you doing, are you here with someone?” And now he’s looking for some of that poisonous coral so he can stab himself in the heart with it.
(10 more pics here. hq jump here. source = fame)
Some online sites today, although I think this began with Star magazine, say that Jennifer Love Hewitt may be pregnant, and that's why she’s gone from this to some kind of bacon-based monster. According to MSN:
Jennifer Love Hewitt's visible weight gain may reveal something more than just a lapsed diet. The US actress has been piling on the pounds because she is pregnant, a US celebrity news website reports. "Jennifer was shocked, but at the same time she was ecstatic with the news," a source said. "It wasn't planned, but now that it's happened Jennifer and Ross are both very happy."
Whatever. Maybe its just because I’m a sexist sexy pig, but fat and pregnant are the same thing. Girls just use getting pregnant as an excuse to eat whatever they want. You're not foolin me, big ass. They put on 90 pounds then have a 6 pound kid. According to my ribbons in Math, that leaves 84 pounds unaccounted for. If my girl gets pregnant and puts on 40 pounds, she better have a 40 pound baby, or else she has some serious explaining to do.
I think we both know what's in the box. That's right. Rice Krispie treats, wrapped in bacon. You can tell because when the second Size 2 gets stuck in the gate, Jennifer Love Butter Hewitt gets all excited. "RAARRRR," she says, "blargle - RARRRRAARR!" When I ran that through my Fatty-to-English translator, it said, "the gate, it is my ally, the treats, they will be mine!"
JAMES FRANCO IS LUCID - FilmDrunk has an interview with James Franco, and interview that from here on out will be known as, "The Worlds Greatest Interview". He's so unbelievably stoned, he might be legally dead.
YOU MISSED SOME - Bauer Griffin has pictures of Amy Winehouse walking around in the middle of the night (zombie) with a white powder on her sleeve (better shot here). Oh, heavens, what could it be?
BRITNEY STILL CAN'T DRIVE - Video here of Britney showing she has absolutely no idea what the hell is going on in the world. She drives like someone is shooting at her.
JENIFER LOVE HEWITT ISN'T FAT - Janice Dickinsosn went on Today this morning and told Al Roker that she didn't think Jennifer Love Hewitt was fat, that these were just unflattering angles. How the hell can "straight-on" be considered a bad angle? That's not even an "angle". It's right behind you. What would a good angle be? From the neck up? Pointed at the sun? Pointed at someone else? Janice went on to say that, while JLH is not fat, Tyra Banks is. And Tyra got out of her frosting -stained recliner and attempted to write a nasty letter. Unfortunately there was melted butter all over her hands, so it will have to wait.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is using her official website to respond to the mean spirited comments by some (cough, cough) about her weight in pictures taken last week in Hawaii (see those here). Jennifer says we should leave her alone because she's a size 2, and a size 2 is not fat. You read that right, by the way. Size 2. I shit you not.
This is the last time I will address this subject.
I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image.
A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn't make you beautiful.
What I should be doing is celebrating some of the best days of my life and my engagement to the man of my dreams, instead of having to deal with photographers taking invasive pictures from bad angles. I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.
To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.
Xoxo
This bitch is either delusional or high or delusional and high, because there's not a chance in hell she's a size 2. Her head's not even a size 2.
Apparently this is not a picture of fatties attempting to conquer the ocean, as I was led to believe by precedent, but rather it's Jennifer Love Hewitt celebrating her engagement to the hunk in the picture, Scottish "actor" Ross McCall. They got engaged last week then went to Hawaii to celebrate. Sources say his bitchin ink was included in the deal.
Jennifer Love Hewitt's rep confirms exclusively to Usmagazine.com that Hewitt, 28, and boyfriend, Scottish actor Ross McCall, 32, are engaged to be married.
"They got engaged last week," her rep tells Us. The couple is currently vacationing in Hawaii.
Us has learned that the antique engagement ring has been in Ross' family for over 100 years.
Scotland is like 8 billion years old, so a hundred-year-old ring just means he's cheap. Those bourgeois cunts in Hollywood won't stand for that. Although it's possible she doesn't even know they're engaged. Depending on how thick his accent is, "We should share our life, get married" may have sounded like "We should share our pie, it's cherry". In the second one, it's understandable that her reply was, "yes yes, oh my god, forever and ever, yes!"
