Jennifer Love Hewitt Isn’t Fooling Us

By Travis August 22, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

People have always thought that black is the best color for fatties to wear to offer the illusion that they’re slimmer than they actually are, so that’s why I assume Jennifer Love Hewitt squeezed her pregnant body into a skintight black dress for last night’s Pampers event in New York City. Except instead of giving a slimming effect, she looked like someone squeezed an oversized pillow into a regular case.

But more than anything this event made me ponder the question: “Is Jennifer Love Hewitt the type of C-list actress who would get pregnant with her unknown co-star for the sake of improving her career and gaining some endorsements as she heads toward 40?” And I pondered that for four whole seconds, because yes.

(Photo Credits: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com)

Jennifer Love Hewitt Knocked Up by Actor From Her Show

By Lex June 04, 2013 @ 5:09 PM

I guess marriage is pretty much dead these days. Used to be when a girl got knocked up, somebody with a Sam Elliott voice spoke to the dude and said, buddy, time to step up and do the right thing. Now everybody has a ‘partner’. Which I thought was reserved for gay people because Jesus says they can’t get married. But apparently it also means somebody got pregnant and the guy didn’t want to get married and the girl doesn’t want to call somebody her baby daddy like Michael Jordan just pounded a baby into her during his Atlanta layover. So, partner it is.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is said to be thrilled that she and her partner are pregnant. I mostly just want to see how big her breasts can grow.

Khloe Kardashian Fired; Jennifer Love Hewitt Hired

By Lex April 26, 2013 @ 10:32 AM

It’s not fair that Khloe Kardashian got fired from her X-Factor hostess job simply because she’s an annoying talentless big-boned twat who looks like a melting wax statue on camera. Khloe really needed this gig. Without it, she’s left to prattle her greeting card level slogans on Twitter, wait for Lamar to come home and bang her with his eyes closed, and secretly meet with teams of investigators she’s hired to find her real daddy. That’s not enough for a woman as deep and rich as Khloe.

As if real life didn’t kick Khloe in her elastic waist bands hard enough, it now looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt is coming onto the show. Yeah, she’s better looking, more talented, and actually sort of knows how to sing, but can she carry a piano on her back while making sweet butt love to the first man who tells her how pretty her eyes are? Nay. Khloe got robbed.






Jennifer Love Hewitt Flashes Her Blue Panties

By Bill March 19, 2013 @ 1:16 PM

My greatest dream in life, even bigger than the one where I’m giant size and I step on all the now-grown kids who used to laugh at me for being such a retarded skateboarder, bigger than that, is having Jennifer Love Hewitt jump into my arms tits first with her blue panties riding up her backside because she’s squeezing so hard. Yes, it’s a specific dream. And some other bastard got to live it on the set of The Client List. He’s her new boyfriend, and plays her husband on the show. Which is so damn cliche. Almost as cliche as my dream. Not the stomping one. The boobs in the face and blue panties one.

Photo credit: FameFlynet / WENN

Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks shes getting married again

By brendon February 14, 2013 @ 4:54 PM

jennifer_love_hewitt_set_client_list

Anxious to prove she hasn’t learned a single thing about how her palpable desperation scares away every guy she ever dates, Jennifer Love Hewitt has asked her boyfriend and “Client List” co-star, Brian Hallisay, to move in with her.

“Jennifer has totally flipped for Brian,” a longtime friend told The ENQUIRER. “She firmly believes he’s ‘the one’ and she’s determined not to let him get away.
“She said, ‘I want to wake up next to him every day! So I told him he should just move in!’”
“Jennifer has a history of falling for many of her male co-stars,” said another source. “The problem is that things usually fall apart for her just when the relationships start getting serious. But she really believes that, with Brian, things are going to be different this time around.”

In a related story, Jennifer Love Hewitt now lives in a 40-story stone column with only one window at the very top and the whole thing is surrounded by a moat filled with crocodiles.

Jennifer Love Hewitt looks great photoshopped

By brendon February 12, 2013 @ 6:04 PM

jennifer-love-hewitt-in-shape

Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the set of her show ‘the Client List’ this week in Sherman Oaks, looking suspiciously less firm and fit than she does on the cover of the new Shape magazine. Her secret is apparently a combination of diet, exercise, and that same computer animation used in movies where you see a dinosaur roller-skate or some shit like that.

(image source = fame/flynet)