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Jennifer Love Hewitt Isn't Fooling Us

People have always thought that black is the best color for fatties to wear to offer the illusion that they're slimmer than they actually are, so that's why I assume Jennifer Love Hewitt squeezed her pregnant body into a skintight black dress for last night's Pampers event in New York City. Except instead of giving a slimming effect, she looked like someone squeezed an oversized pillow into a regular case. But more...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt Shows Off Her Pregnancy Cleavage

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splashread more

Jennifer Love Hewitt Knocked Up by Actor From Her Show

I guess marriage is pretty much dead these days. Used to be when a girl got knocked up, somebody with a Sam Elliott voice spoke to the dude and said, buddy, time to step up and do the right thing. Now everybody has a 'partner'. Which I thought was reserved for gay people because Jesus says they can't get married. But apparently it also means somebody got pregnant and the guy didn't want to get married and the girl...read more

Khloe Kardashian Fired; Jennifer Love Hewitt Hired

It's not fair that Khloe Kardashian got firedfrom her X-Factor hostess job simply because she's an annoying talentless big-boned twat who looks like a melting wax statue on camera. Khloe really needed this gig. Without it, she's left to prattle her greeting card level slogans on Twitter, wait for Lamar to come home and bang her with his eyes closed, and secretly meet with teams of investigators she's hired to find her...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt Flashes Her Blue Panties

My greatest dream in life, even bigger than the one where I'm giant size and I step on all the now-grown kids who used to laugh at me for being such a retarded skateboarder, bigger than that, is having Jennifer Love Hewitt jump into my arms tits first with her blue panties riding up her backside because she's squeezing so hard. Yes, it's a specific dream. And some other bastard got to live it on the set of The Client...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks shes getting married again

Anxious to prove she hasn't learned a single thing about how her palpable desperation scares away every guy she ever dates, Jennifer Love Hewitt has asked her boyfriend and "Client List" co-star, Brian Hallisay, to move in with her. "Jennifer has totally flipped for Brian," a longtime friend told The ENQUIRER. "She firmly believes he's ‘the one' and she's determined not to let him get away. "She said, ‘I want to wake...read more

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Jennifer Love Hewitt looks great photoshopped

Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the set of her show 'the Client List' this week in Sherman Oaks, looking suspiciously less firm and fit than she does on the cover of the new Shape magazine. Her secret is apparently a combination of diet, exercise, and that same computer animation used in movies where you see a dinosaur roller-skate or some shit like that. (image source = fame/flynet)read more

Thursday Afternoon Headlines

NICKI MINAJ - called Mariah Carey a "bitch" during last nights premiere of 'American Idol'. And also before the premiere, after the premiere, and every other time Mariah Careys name has ever come up. (radar) JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - will film some nude scenes for her show 'The Client List' on Lifetime, but it's pointless because they will then blur everything before the broadcast so you wont actually see her naked. I...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt is deceptive

Jennifer Love Hewitt was also on twitter this weekend posting a bikini picture, and I appreciate that she only showed the parts of herself that still look good. It's more honest than pretending all of her looks good. Her caption should be, "I still have sorta big boobs and my hair is long enough to braid. Good enough?"read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt had a meeting with stylists. But why?

"Hey guys, it's Jennifer, Love Hewitt, JLove, and I hope you get this message because instead of me coming all the way to the studio for that meeting with the stylists, wouldn't it be better if they packed everything up and came to my house?" "Well, you know, not my house, but outside my house? In the street." "They could set up the racks of clothes on the curb by all the dog shit." "Just tell them not to get bit by...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt eats at In-N-Out. Gosh. No way.

The people at In-N-Out must have been pretty surprised to see Jennifer Love Hewitt pull up to the drive-thru in a Bentley convertible yesterday. Because they're not the ones who use glazed doughnuts for buns. "We've been through this a hundred times, ma'am." (image source = fame/flynet)read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt uses vanilla extract as perfume. Seriously.

Finally. Jennifer Love Hewitt has found a way to combine the two things she's best at: hoarding food and scaring away men. Us weekly says: "I carry McCormick's Pure Vanilla [in my purse] -- the baking kind -- and dab it on my neck," she tells Us Weekly. "Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put it on and four different guys were like, 'You smell amazing!'" And I'm wiling to bet not one of those four followed...read more

Jennifer Love Hewitt looks sorta better. From there.

Jennifer Love Hewitt was in West Hollywood last night for the premiere of her Lifetime movie 'The Client List', and she might have looked okay if not for the fake eyelashes that should only be worn with a Malcolm McDowell ‘Clockwork Orange' Halloween costume. You could honestly make a better set of fake eyelashes out of wood. It's almost like someone drew these on later to make fun of her. (image source = getty, wenn)...read more

this is allegedly Jennifer Love Hewitt

Jennifer Love Hewitt is in the new issue of Maxim, and there's nothing at all suspicious about the pictures and how thin she looks, assuming that you just arrived here from 1998 and this is the first time you've seen Jennifer Love Hewitt since then.read more

it might have been Jennifer Love Hewitts birthday

Jennifer Love Hewitt had lunch at The Ivy, where there are more paparazzi than customers and staff, and she held up a glass with 'Birthday Girl' written on it, and waved around a 'Happy Birthday 2 Me' sign, but I'm not sure that's enough. People could still miss it. She should have someone in a panda suit wrapped in Christmas lights come in and sing to her too, just to make certain everyone sees her and fuels her lust...read more