In November, Jennifer Love Hewitt took some famous pictures in Hawaii (these pictures) showing that she had gained like 1800 pounds.  It was amazing.  And in her defense, she said she was a size 2 and there’s nothing wrong with her body.  And to prove she meant what she said, she then immediately went on an insane diet.  Wait, what?  Us magazines cover story says…

Now, the Ghost Whisperer star has the last laugh.
In the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now, the 32-year-old shows off the new body she got after just 10 weeks and her trainer reveals to Us exclusively how she lost 18 pounds.
"I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt tells Us. "The energy level and the way I feel now is great."

Whatever.  You’re not fooling me big ass.  The picture they have of her on the cover proves nothing.  I want her to recreate her Hawaii trip shot for shot, and I want her to put things next to her ass so I have a sense of perspective, like a Coke can and a football.  I know this sounds extreme, but don't you kid yourself, Jennifer Love Hewitt would eat you and everyone you care about if given the chance.  The only language they understand is aggression.

UPDATE – these pictures, Splash exclusives by the way, were taken July 30th, and she looks just as fat as ever.  So she and her MySpace angle magazine cover need to try again.



Jennifer Love Hewitt wore a big giant t-shirt and some baggy sweatpants to walk her dog yesterday, but you’re not foolin me Big Ass.  She still has a little tiny head, and a big fat ass.  And she’s all lumpy.  She's built like a wedding cake.   I'm only mildly joking when I say I’d rather make out with the dog.



It's probably not the most flattering thing in the world to have people thinking you're pregnant when you're not.  Oh hey look there's Jennifer Love Hewitt.  People magazine says…

Jennifer Love Hewitt can't stop the whisperers. When she wore a bikini, she heard about her figure. And when she covered up – wearing flowing, baby doll styles while recently running errands and at last weekend's Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards – she faced baby rumors. But the engaged Ghost Whisperer star isn't keeping quiet. She fought back after the bikini pictures hit the Internet. And now her rep has issued a flat-out denial: "She is not pregnant."

Here's the Kids Choice dress they mention, but be warned, only look at it if you’re not afraid of getting super turned on.

TMZ says that the Three 6 Mafia was kicked out of a house they were renting as part of an MTV series after a member of their entourage pee’d on the lawn belonging to their new neighbor, who just happened to be Jennifer Love Hewitt.  TMZ says:

The Oscar-winning rap group recently moved into the same Toluca Lake neighborhood of the busty "Ghost Whisperer," and marked their new territory by having one of their assistants relieve himself on Hewitts front yard. The group's new reality show, "Adventures in HollyHood," premieres tomorrow night on MTV. While handing out invitations to the Three 6 Mafia housewarming party, you can actually see the assistant peeing on a lawn they claim belongs to the actress.

The Three 6 then moved to Bel-Air, but they should move next to me.  I got mad street cred and would fit right in.  Between having hundreds of hours of MST3K on video tape and my secret recipe for Raisin Dandies, they’ll think I’m cool for sure.  Is a pinch of cinnamon my secret?  Oooo, I’ll never tell!



That's Jennifer Love Hewitt?  Jesus.  These were taken on the set of "Ghost Whisperer" last week.  I don't think about her very often, but when I do I picture a skinny chick with big tits, not this donut-based lump.  Not someone with chocolate all over their face, rubbing a stick of butter against the inside of their dress, eyeing her next victim on the buffet and emphasizing her points in a conversation by shaking a turkey leg at me.  I don't wanna say that every girl should be skinny with big tits and dark red hair but … um … okay, I'm not sure how to finish that.