Jennifer Love Chewit is gettin me all hot

Jennifer Love Hewitt paused form doing interviews about how she's not fat and actually really beautiful to go to lunch with her mom in Beverly Hills. Which was apparently not a special enough occasion for her to not dress like a runaway. I bet if you took a box of Entenmann chocolate chip cookies, and then dumped them at her feet, I bet she would crawl around on her hands and knees and pick up at least half of them...read more

this is Hollywoods Most Amazing Body

Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the cover of People this summer for their issue about the best bodies in Hollywood. She went from fat to fabulous and now her body is amazing (their words, not mine). And yet every picture had her hiding behind something. Whenever she's in a magazine, it's like she was on a walk in the woods and a stranger started chasing her. She's always peering out from behind something. Well this is...read more

jennifer love hewitt is an unstable lunatic

Two more pictures from Jennifer Love Hewitts photo shoot for People, part of their '50 Most Amazing Bodies' cover story, are online (see them here), and of course she talks about how much she loves her body now. And yet by shocking coincidence there's something in front of her hips in every single picture. Just like there was in her Maxim photo shoot. There was nothing to stand behind in 2008 on the cover of Us, so to...read more

jlh loves the way she looks. wait never mind.

The article from People is a perfect microcosm of Jennifer Love Hewitt. It's a looping combination of retardation and denial that only she could manage. Please trust me when I tell you that both these quotes are from the very same 300 word interview. We start here... In a world that's overly focused on body image, Jennifer Love Hewitt is urging young women not to obsess about weight – because it's simply not worth it....read more

what in the hell is this

Travis Pastrana I mean Jennifer Love Hewitt went for a workout this weekend, and hopefully she's on her way to another workout because the first one didn't work at all. Either that or she only worked out her head and the workout was amazing. It doesn't even look like that head is on the right body. If you only saw the top half, this, she's not bad to be honest. Unfortunately you can say the same thing about a...read more

love hewitt wants to play wonder woman, is delusional

I don't think there's been any movement on the Wonder Woman movie in years, but Jennifer Love Hewitt seems to think there is, and that she would be a perfect choice to play the superhero. I wonder how she plans on getting her fat ass in that costume. Jennifer Love Hewitt is pleading with movie studio bosses at Warner Bros. to hire her for the part. She says, "I'm fighting so hard. I think Warner Bros. is getting ready...read more

jennifer love chewit is an idiot

I'm sure everyone has already been to NPR today, but if you haven't, there's a review of Jennifer Love Hewitts advice book on dating. And it's every bit as dumb as it sounds. Keep in mind she just got dumped for like the 50th time. Nonetheless some masochist collected a few gems of romantic wisdom... (From a list of "Strikes". Meaning if a guy does these things, he's not the right one) "He keeps saying 'That's so...read more

monday afternoon headlines

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - got dumped last week, and now she's chopped off her long hair. Wooaah, fat AND short hair? Is it Christmas? Be still my heart. (huffington post) CHRIS EVANS - has been offered the lead in the Captain America movie. Evans was really good in 'Sunshine' and 'Push', and he's right physically, so this works all the way around. I probably care more than most because I have a Capt. America tat on my...read more

kate winslet is single

Over the weekend it was reported that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy broke up after dating for just about a year, which wasn't really a surprise because Jennifer Love Hewitt is an insufferable pain in the ass. But Kate Winslet has been married to Sam Mendes for 7 years, and everyone loves her, so news of their divorce kind of comes out of nowhere. People says... "Kate and Sam are saddened to announce that they...read more

tuesday morning headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - is 23, and Roberto Cavalli is 69. Good luck trying to figure out which one to feel sorry for. (wenn) JAY LENO - is planning a week of shows in New York City, to beat Letterman "on his home turf". Leno will be great there. I bet he'll have some real zingers about how the Knicks aren't very good at basketball. This guy doesn't care whose toes he steps on. (pop eater) DARYL HANNAH - is naked in her new...read more

god i hate you so f**king much

On her birthday last year, Jennifer Love Bacon dressed up like whatever that bitches name was in that movie and stood outside Tiffanys. This year, she peered out from behind her gate then walked into the street because someone was banging on her food dish. No not really. It was because she had dressed up like a fuckin idiot again and called the paparazzi again so they would take pictures of her again. Reportedly this...read more

jennifer love hewitt decorates her kitty with crystals

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new dating book out, and if you think she wouldn't have any good tips for how to spice up your love life, you would be 100 percent correct. One of her tips: glue shiny things on your vadge. "After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady," she said. "It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays." The...read more

morning headlines

JIMMY KIMMEL - came out last night dressed as Jay Leno. Everyone could tell it wasn't Leno though because the jokes were funny. (abc) JENNIFER LOVE CHEWITT - almost dumped Jamie Kennedy because he called her "pear-ass" after seeing her in a bikini. Then she realized that's the nicest thing anyone has said about her ass in 3 years. (us.com) MINKA KELLY - is not engaged to Derek Jeter, contrary to reports last week...read more

the top 100 stories of 2009 (11-50)

50. MADONNAS ARMS - As she approaches the end of her life, it's good to know she'll die as she lived; by creeping me the fuck out. (July 27th) 49. CALL OF DUTY 2 - made 310 million dollars in it's first 24 hours. "The Dark Knight holds every Hollywood speed record, and it took them 10 days to reach 300. So I guess in hindsight that movie was a real piece of shit." (November 12) 48. MEGAN FOX IS BISEXUAL - If Megan Fox...read more

tuesday morning headlines

JENNIFER LOVE CHEWIT - tortured boys everywhere by twittering just this one picture of her as a Playboy bunny for Halloween (full size UHQ here). Aren't you surprised she didn't post more? I know I was surprised. According to sources that are Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost a ton of weight and now looks amazing, but here all we have is this one picture, a picture reminiscent of when fat girls on...read more