KACEY JORDAN - is the porn star who won’t stop talking about her time with Charlie Sheen, and now she even says she had an abortion last Thursday that could have been his. Or it could have been from a different celebrity the week before. She doesn’t really sweat the details, as it turns out. (radar)
CAMILLE GRAMMER - is only famous for marrying and then divorcing Kelsey Grammer, but now she’s been hired by CNN to report on the Oscars this Sunday. Some would argue she isn’t qualified, but she has seen several previous Oscar telecasts, and hopes that maybe one day, they’ll even let her cover the Academy Awards. (huff post)
JENNIFER TILLY - was one of the players at the World Poker Tour Celebrity Invitational this weekend. She’s 52, by the way, making her the new oldest girl I’d bang. Before this it was Selena Gomez. (pacific coast)
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE - “Inglourious Basterds” crushed this weekend, pulling in 65.1M worldwide. This is good news for director Quentin Tarantino and star Brad Pitt, two big names who don’t always deliver box office. A friend of mine almost didn’t go see it but I told her she should. And then I kidnapped her sister to let her know I meant business. (variety)
CURRENT SONG - the remix of “Superstar” from Lupe Fiasco, featuring Young Jeezy and TI. Not only does Jeezy put out awesome records, he was all but unstoppable if you took him in Def Jam Icon on the 360. (superstar = here)
LINDSAY LOHAN - was robbed again this weekend for the 2nd time in 3 months. The suspects reportedly took several watches and removed a wall safe. They would have taken more but Lindsay was beginning to suspect they weren’t really pizza delivery men. (the ap)
JENNIFER TILLY - turns 51 in 3 weeks, but still looks better than most when she goes to the pool. And she has that sexy voice. Long story short, I fucked her. (source = fame)
Jennifer Tilly is a hardcore poker player, and Saturday night she played in the Seventh Annual World Poker Tour Invitational in LA. More importantly, she made her case as the worlds hottest 50-year-old. And by that I mean, “tits”.
Wesley Snips is so screwed - Wesley Snipes will spend the next three years in jail after a Florida judge gave him the maximum sentence possible for evading federal income taxes from 1999 to 2001. This was even after the judge referred to the case as a misdemeanor, saying, "In my mind these are serious crimes, albeit misdemeanors." Snipes fucked up. He should have done this stuff in California. Cops there don’t do shit. A movie star could dump anthrax into the water supply and, at worst, the courts would make him eat a really spicy pepper or something.
Tom Cruise is going back on Oprah - For the first time since his now very famous couch-jumping-up-and-down incident. Tom Cruise will appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show. People magazine says…
The show, which will appear in two parts during May sweeps, will celebrate Cruise’s career since his breakout role 25 years ago in Risky Business. One part will be shot in-studio before a live audience. In the other, Cruise will show Winfrey around his Telluride mountain retreat and do a portion of the interview at the home.
To learn more about Toms long career, check out this months copy of Crazy Ass Lunatic magazine.
Jimmy Fallon to replace Conan - The Hollywood Reporter says that Jimmy Fallon has signed a deal to replace Conan O Brien as host of Late Night after Conan becomes host of the Tonight Show next year. Will Fallon smirk smugly at the camera and crack up at his own jokes like he did on Weekend Update. Golly, I sure hope so. That was so charming
Jennifer Tilly is ageless -Jennifer Tilly walked the red carpet last night at the palms in Vegas for the premier of the movie "Deal". Which is only noteworthy because, in September, she turns 50. 50. This bitch is 50 years old, yet still looks less run down than Lindsay or Britney or fifty dozen other Hollywood fuck ups you could name. I think she might be the devil.
Jennifer Tilly is 49 and the runaway winner of my penis in the previously uninvented Oldest Chick I Would Sling My Ropes On competition, but Cindy Crawford shouldn't take the news of her loss too hard. She's just 41 and as you can tell by these weekend candids of her in Hawaii, she still looks good for her age. Unfortunately for her Jennifer Tilly has used big-titted treachery (bam bitches) to stop the very hands of time. If I remember Fermats Last Therom correctly, and I think I do, chicks with sexy voices and huge huge racks are good people, and better in every way than girls who have neither. In fact, I heard that flat cheated girls steal.
