(note: I wrote this like 10 times but all the links made it confusing so I’m just gonna post it in bullet points to make it easier to read. Ta-da!)

- Jenny Mccarthy has spent years scaring parents out of giving their kids vaccines because she says the MMR vaccine, which prevents measles, mumps and rubella, gave her son autism. (time magazine)

- No one actually knows what causes autism but whatever. (the national institue of health)

- 736 parents who followed the advice of Dr. Bunny now have a dead kid. But they were all autism-free, I’d like to point out. (body count)

- Yesterday the National Academy of Sciences released a comprehensive review of vaccine safety, and, “found no link between being immunized and the most serious health problems that have raised concern, including autism and diabetes.” (washington post)

- The MMR vaccine was specifically studied to see if there was any link between it and the onset of autism. And just like every other study on this matter, they found that there is “no causal relationship” between the two. (the institute of medicine)

- Ahhh, but Detective Tits knows better, and she defiantly responded to those quacks: “it caused seizures and brain inflammation in my kid which led To autism. That’s what I know.” (twitter)

- “Know” in this case means “guess” but she wasn’t done yet, she also set up a hashtag telling people to, “get a mercury free flu shot.” (twitter)

- So does mercury in our vaccines cause autism? Is that how her son got it? No, actually, because the MMR doesn’t have mercury and never has. (the national health service)

- By the way, the CDC, the FDA, the National Institutes of Health, the National Academy of Sciences’ Institute of Medicine, and the American Academy of Pediatrics all say that flu shots with mercury are perfectly safe. (the cdc)

In summation, science didn’t post their results with a hashtag so I guess they can fuck off. They better find a way to explain that vaccines are safe in 140 characters or less or else Jenny’s gonna kill some more kids.

Jenny McCarthy, Miss October 1993, who has now murdered 622 children, has spent the last few years insisting that vaccines gave her kid autism, despite the fact that it’s not true and her kid probably never had autism to begin with.

Her only real medical evidence came from a man named Andrew Wakefield, who, unlike Jenny, is a real doctor. That’s the good news. The bad news is his data is as real as her hair color and tits. The AP says…

The first study to link a childhood vaccine to autism was based on doctored information about the children involved, according to a new report on the widely discredited research.
The conclusions of the 1998 paper by Andrew Wakefield and colleagues was renounced by 10 of its 13 authors and later retracted by the medical journal Lancet, where it was published. Still, the suggestion the MMR shot was connected to autism spooked parents worldwide and immunization rates for measles, mumps and rubella have never fully recovered.
A new examination found, by comparing the reported diagnoses in the paper to hospital records, that Wakefield and colleagues altered facts about patients in their study.

So basically, Jenny Mccarthys kid is a dim wittted lump who just sits there like an asshole, not because he has autism, but because you get out what you put in, and any kid coming out of Jenny McCarthy was gonna be an easily befuddled dork. Just be happy he’s not trying to eat the god damned dog and stop blaming science for your cave dweller genetics.