‘The Bourne Legacy’ trailer came out yesterday, and I was so busy being a sarcastic dick that I forgot to mention that it reportedly takes place at the same time as ‘the Bourne Ultimatum’. Which is actually really cool. So we’ll see what else was going on while Matt Damon look befuddled and/or punched people.
This is why the trailer showed the scene from ‘Ultimatum’ with the reporter in the train station, and why Bourne is in New York and all that. Presumably Jeremy Renner is supposed to do something about it. He should try calling Bourne on the phone and saying he can see him. That always seem to freak everyone out in the other movies.
For years I’ve been sitting here, like a fool, assuming there was always just one, but as ‘The Bourne Legacy’ repeatedly points out, it’s actually quite the contrary. And unrelated to the fact that the old one doesn’t want to be in these movies anymore, here are the adventures of another one who, it turns out, has been even more exciting the entire time and we didn’t even know it.
And don’t worry; even though the old one is referenced 6 times, perhaps giving the impression he’s in this movie, he’s not and good riddance.
But don’t take my word for it, just listen to the lady who saw the evaluations. She’s seen dozens, no, hundreds of evaluations, and she almost came in her pants when she saw these. “The old one punched like some limp wristed little faggot compared to this one,” she practically said.
There have been rumors that Jeremy Renner is gay for at least two years now, and he’s never really said much about it, but now he tells the Hollywood Reporter that the whole thing should really be private. And that he’s not gay.
“I want my personal life to be personal, and it’s not f—ing true,” he says of the (gay rumors). “And I don’t care if you’re talking about things that are true, you’re still talking about my personal life. How about I go peek in your window? How does that feel?”
Not very good, Jeremy. I didn’t like it at all. But it’s a good transition to these pictures of him through a window with some girl at Mel’s Drive-In on Sunset. Is he on a date? Maybe he’s not gay. I’m sure there’s a reason to hang out with girls other than the potential for sex but I can’t seem to think of one.
The trailer for ‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’ will premiere in front of ‘Transformers: As If It Matters Because These Are All The Same’ starting tomorrow night, but an early bootleg copy has leaked onto this French website for reasons that are probably explained in French.
If this is any indication, it seems (the great) Brad Bird was more than up to the task in his live-action directorial debut. Tom Cruise is doing wildly dangerous stunts (really), there looks to be more Simon Pegg this time, with plenty of Josh Holloway being handsome and Jeremy Renner poised to take the franchise over starting with ‘MI:6′. It also promises “Re-pensez L’Imposible”, which sounds appropriate.
Two years ago most people had no idea who Jeremy Renner was. Two Academy Award nominations later and he’s starring alongside Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (then is expected to take over the franchise and star in MI:5), in The Avengers as Hawkeye (which could get it’s own spinoff movie), and now the always great Latino Review says he is the choice to take over for Matt Damon in the new Jason Bourne movies that are not actually Jason Bourne movies.
…the offer to topline “The Bourne Legacy” is about go out to Jeremy Renner.
The new movie will simply take the title from author Robert Ludlum’s book, but will not use the story. Gilroy has also made it very clear that the new film is not a reboot or a recast or a prequel, and that no one’s replacing Matt Damon. There will be a whole new hero, a whole new chapter and that this film is a stand-alone project.
It’s interesting that Renner is getting all these leads in action movies considering the rumors about him being gay. A former acting coach of his said it never used to be a secret, and taking his mom as his date to the Academy Awards (two years in a row) hasn’t helped.
He’s a great actor so no one should give a shit but Hollywood doesn’t exactly have the greatest history here. Normally the only fight you’d see in a movie with a gay actor would be at a shoe sale with him snapping his fingers in a circle and then closing his eyes and scratching.
Tina Yothers Christina Aguilera is not only fat and ugly these days, but she’s also a lush who crashes parties and passes out drunk in strangers beds too. I’m honestly surprised there’s not a part in this story where she pisses on herself.
Popping up uninvited at Jeremy Renner’s 40th birthday bash on January 8, Aguilera, 30, got “wasted” then lay down in the star’s bed, a source tells the new Us Weekly.
“Someone comes and tells me she’s in my room,” (Renner told friends). “I run up and open the door and I’m like, ‘Um, hi. What are you doing?’ She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone’s birthday party that they don’t know and gets in their bed?! My parents were there!”
Adds another source, “Christina was a mess at that party. She acted like a fool. Her boyfriend was shushing her and telling her to go to sleep.”
It’s too bad that she’s not hot anymore, because then the answer to the question, “Who comes to someone’s birthday party that they don’t know and gets in their bed”, would have been, “That girl covered in my semen, that’s who.”