By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:40 PM
Jesse James was supposed to spend 45 days in sex rehab in a half-assed attempt to convince Sandra Bullock that he wanted to stop banging random whores. Now that he had been caught, that is. Now he wants to stop.
Unfortunately for him, Sandra was unmoved by this hollow gesture, so he goose-stepped out early this morning after staying just 4 days. The New York Post says…
Jesse James reportedly bolted from a sex-addition clinic after his Oscar-winning wife refused to take his phone call.
An angry James checked out of the Sierra Tucson treatment center, because Sandra Bullock, whom he betrayed with a bevy of babes, apparently wants nothing more to do with him.
Bullock is reportedly concerned that James will try for a face-to-face reconciliation.
This dork is so screwed. People love Sandra Bullock, and this tubby poser really embarrassed her. His reputation couldn’t be any worse unless he left rehab, drove to Disneyland and punched Winnie The Pooh in the face.
GROVELING UPDATE – aaaand now he’s back in.
By brendon April 05, 2010 @ 12:03 PM
SANDRA BULLOCK - has begun preparing her divorce papers, and thanks to a kickass pre-nup, Jesse James will walk away with nothing. Except for his awesome sleeve tats, that is. That guy is a real winner. (radar)
CLASH OF THE TITANS - made an astounding 64 million at the box office this weekend. I was so amazed I read this article to my 3-year-old nephew. “The Kraken was released, and it devoured the Easter bunny,” it began. Oh stop crying. It’s time for you to grow up. (b.o.m.)
DANA WHITE - is up for Times Top 100. People should vote for him because he’s changed the culture of sports in America, and he’s on a list with a bunch of retarded fucking actors who don’t influence a god damn thing. Except for Zoe Saldana, who influences me to go jackoff, and Jenny McCarthy, who has killed over 500 kids. She’s like Stalin. I guess that would be considered influential. (time)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - hosted a party at MGM’s Wet Republic pool bar in Vegas over the weekend. She’s so helpful. I’ve been hearing a lot about huge breasts on the news lately, so it was good to finally see what everyone has been raving about.
By brendon April 02, 2010 @ 7:38 PM
JESSE JAMES - is hoping time in rehab and some privacy will save his marriage. He also thinks maybe some aspirin will bring Brittany Murphy back to life. (the ap)
DINA LOHAN - says the report that Lindsay was behind on her rent is a complete lie and Lindsay is doing great. Man, what a relief. I was worried that Lindsay might be in some kind of trouble. Seems silly in hindsight. (radar)
LINDSAY LOHAN - did bounce her rent checks, but other than that, the story about being behind on her rent is a complete lie. So see, Lindsay did send a check. It’s the thought that counts. (tmz)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says women shouldn’t change just to please a man. “If you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.” Stay rigid and never compromise, that’s the key to a good relationship, says the girl who is divorced and has no boyfriend. (popeater)
TYLER READERS UNITE - and go to College Humors ‘Hottest College Girl’ contest and vote for Nikki (last girl, south region) because she reads Tyler too and asked me to do this. She’s impossibly gorgeous, has a perfect body and does kegstands in a bikini. Not only should she win, they should rename the championship trophy after her. (contest, facebook)
By brendon April 02, 2010 @ 2:42 AM
COLLEGE HUMOR - is having their Americas Hottest College Girl contest. Remember this hot bitch? Oh good you’re nodding (I can see you through your webcam, btw). Well that’s Nikki. And everyone should go vote for her. Because she reads Tyler too, and she asked me to put this up. So you two have a lot in common. If you vote for her she’ll probably wanna go out with you. (college humor, last girl in the south bracket – nikkis facebook)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says you have to know who you are before falling in love, and that “no man can define you.” Except in this case. And that man is Papa John. (people)
JESSE JAMES - is romantic. That’s why he waited a few weeks after marrying Sandra Bullock to start cheating again. Awww, he’s like a big teddy bear, that guy. (radar)
HULK HOGAN - says he became so depressed after his divorce that he took, “pills and rum, put a gun in my mouth and thought, pull the trigger.” Yeah, because Linda Hogan was such a prize. Looks like not being a loser is Hulks toughest opponent yet. (the sun)
By brendon April 01, 2010 @ 6:29 PM
MICHELLE BOMBSHELL - is one of the models used for the plastic surgeon who did such an awesome job on her breast implants. Geoff found this and thought I might want to see some tits. He guessed correctly. (screencap)
JEFFREY DAHMER - may have killed Adam Walsh, the son of ‘Americas Most Wanted’ host John Walsh. Dahmer lived in Miami in 1981, when Adams severed head was found in Vero Beach. The rest of his remains were never recovered. Dahmer killed at least 17 men and boys starting in 1978. Many of his victims were also raped, tortured, dismembered, eaten and sodomized after death. Then the agent said, “What do you call your act?” And Dahmer said, “The Aristocrats!” (people)
MARLA MAPLES - is 46 now, but looks way better in a bikini than I would have thought. In part because I thought she was dead. Nope. Alive. And not bad. (pacific coast news)
FACEBOOK ………. TWITTER ………. NUMBER 6 IS WRONG?!?!
By brendon April 01, 2010 @ 10:55 AM
For the first time since news broke that her husband was banging all kinds of whores, Sandra Bullock was seen in public yesterday. Sort of. John Gotti came back from the dead to drive her from her house in the Hollywood Hills to her agent in Beverly Hills, but she was all covered up by a tan jacket and big green hat. Because otherwise we might have learned what Sandra Bullock looks like. It would have been pandemonium.
(source = inf daily)