jesse james had sex with two girls and a guy

By brendon March 31, 2010 @ 3:55 PM

59851488

Jesse James is reportedly begging Sandra Bullock for another chance, but with each passing hour it seems like some new story comes out that will make that impossible. Like unprotected sex with a complete stranger during an orgy, for example.

…tattoo artist Eric McDougall and receptionist Skittles Valentine, confess to having a freaky foursome with Jesse James and Michelle “Bombshell” McGee last June – and Skittles had intercourse with Jesse without a condom.
The racy encounter took place one drunken night last June while Sandra Bullock was busy promoting The Proposal. “Michelle came into my shop and was like, ‘I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend. I recognized Jesse right away.”
After Eric filled in Jesse’s octopus tattoo with a little color free of charge, Jesse and Bombshell went to a liquor store downstairs and returned with booze to lighten the mood. Michelle made the first move, kissing Skittles, and then they all found their way to the tattoo parlor’s private back room. “

A receptionist at a tattoo parlor named after candy who doesn’t care if the entire world knows she’s a whore and had unprotected sex with two complete strangers is so outlandish, it’s almost like Jesse asked Sandra what her worst-case nightmare cheating scenario was, and then went and found it. What could possibly be worse?

jesse james is a nazi

By brendon March 31, 2010 @ 11:01 AM

jesse_james_nazi

Holy. Shit. Us magazine says this picture of Jesse James was taken in 2004, IN HIS HOUSE, one year before he married Sandra Bullock.

As you can see he’s miming a Hitler mustache and giving a Nazi salute, and Us says he’s wearing a “German soldiers cap” but I’m pretty sure that’s an SS officers hat. And the plane behind him is definitely a German WWI fokker.

“He did it for shock value,” a source tells Us Weekly of the shot, taken in James’ home.
Though some have suggested that his West Coast Choppers logo resembles the Third Reich emblem, the biker is “just a history buff,” an insider tells Us Weekly. “He had a stepmom whose father lost family in the camps, and they’d talk about it growing up. Jesse’s not a white supremacist.”
Adds another, “Gearheads are fascinated by war machines, including those of the Third Reich. But he’s far from a neo-Nazi.”

What gears are in that SS hat?

And, as was pointed out Friday, Jesse has companies named Vanilla Gorilla, Way Fast Whitey, and Mighty Whitey. And he was banging a girl with “white power” tatted on her legs. And the West Coast Choppers logo is an Iron Cross. That all seems pretty Nazi. Although it should be mentioned that the plane behind him in the picture wasn’t Nazi, just German. The Nazis had way cooler planes, including the first jet fighters.

Anyway, look, I’m no PC pussy, I like WWII too, I even had a rottweiler named Rommel, okay, but you can’t go around dressing as Hitler. I mean you can, but everyone is gonna think you’re an asshole. And a neo-Nazi. For example, I think this guy is a fireman. Because he’s dressed like one, and he’s doing things a fireman would do. See how this works?

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 30, 2010 @ 7:09 PM

katyele

KATY PERRY - was at a party this weekend which for some reason had an elephant. But not just any elephant. A smooth talking producer. Now Katy is gonna be in a movie. (full size)

JESSE JAMES - will reportedly get ratted out by a 5th girl who says they had sex while he was married to Sandra Bullock. Stuff like this is why so many prostitutes get murdered, by the way. (radar)

STEVEN SPIELBERG - is a moron. According to the creator of the NBC comedy ‘Community’. I knew there was a reason ‘Community’ was my favorite new show (if you like ‘Modern Family’ better you can kiss my ass).  Actually Vince wrote that last sentence but I would have if he hadn’t because he’s right. So is the guy about the current version of Spielberg. Everyone hated ‘Crystal Skull’ but ‘War of the Worlds’ was right before that and it sucked even more. “Oh no, 10 story tripods from outer space are zapping everyone with lasers. They’re killing everyone! Later we’ll find out they need our blood for fertilizer so it won’t make any fucking sense that they’re turning us into ashes, but until then we should definitely drive 250 miles to Boston. Highways provide a natural barrier from aliens. (5 minutes later) Oh shit no they don’t. Lets run out in the open in that big field with no trees or anything to hide behind. We have to keep going, we must get to Boston.”
“Does Boston have some alien death ray I haven’t heard about?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
(filmdrunk)

divorce is now inevitable

By brendon March 29, 2010 @ 3:38 PM

59846669

Sandra Bullock has spent the past few weeks in Austin, Texas, hiding from the media as stories of her husbands infidelity came in like waves. But this weekend she returned to LA, and it’s safe to say absence from Jesse did not make her heart grow fonder. Popeater says…

“It’s over,” a friend of Bullock tells me. “After everything that has happened, it is impossible for them to get back together, even though I’m sure she still loves the man she thought he was.”
Sandra is already back in the Hollywood Hills home she lived in before her marriage and never sold. Neighbors remarked about all the activity at the house with cars coming and going in the last few days.
“Sandra has returned home to face the problem head-on. She isn’t the sort of woman to bury her head in the sand and hope everything will go away,” said an insider. “As painful as this is going to be, expect Sandra to cut out the cancer very soon.”

I can’t even get a girl to make me a sandwich, much less share her 100 million dollar fortune while I bang some whores, so if this retard can talk his way out of this I may have to change my opinion of him.  Not because I would respect him, but because I’d be scared he’d drop a chandelier on me with his mind or something.

the vanilla gorilla (update!)

By brendon March 26, 2010 @ 6:54 PM

sbullock7

Jesse James is an idiot, so I refuse to accept the possibility that Michelle Bombshell gave him the nickname ‘Vanilla Gorilla’ because he has a big dick. More likely is that he still has this Halloween costume that he wore back in 2004, seven months before he and Sandra Bullock got married. So presumably this is where the nickname came from. And it’s why my costume this year will be called “Dongzilla”.

RACIST UPDATE - A friend pointed out that Jesse has companies named Vanilla Gorilla LLC, Way Fast Whitey LLC, and Mighty Whitey LLC. And he was banging a white supremacist Nazi. And the West Coast Choppers logo is an Iron Cross, which is a symbol for many things of course, but was also a medal given by the German army up through WWII. Rommel and Goring won it, for example. Oh but I’m sure this is all just coincidence.

sandra would have hit jesse with a baseball bat

By brendon March 26, 2010 @ 12:41 PM


Back In January, every woman in America hated Tiger Woods, except for the two dozen that he was having sex with. And when Sandra Bullock was asked about Tiger and the rumor that his wife hit him with a golf club when she discovered his affairs, Sandra agreed that violence was the answer. OK! says…

Earlier this year at the People’s Choice Awards, Sandra spoke with Niecy Nash for The Insider about Tiger’s infidelity
“If I were Elin, I would have hit a lot more than she did…I would have kept hitting!”
Niecy asked, “You would still be swinging the golf club?”
“Yeah, she stopped. She was respectable,” Sandra explained. “I’d get the baseball bat. I’d get everything out.”

Of course that’s not what happened. So it turns out Sandra is a god damn liar. Makes you wonder what else she’s been lying about. We’ve been led to believe Sandra is the victim in all this, yet she was the one turning their loving home into a den of lies. This changes everything!