The Enquirer says today that friends and family of Jessica Simpson are worried she may be headed for a mental breakdown. They say Jess suffered a “frightening collapse recently”. To illustrate all this, they use a picture of her from August 6th. This one, specifically. These mental breakdowns can take a while to kick in sometimes.
“Jessica is in the grips of a life crisis right now,” divulged a family friend. “…in private she is an emotional mess.”
The past year has brought one heartbreak after another. Last winter the singer was mercilessly ridiculed for an expanding waistline and fashion missteps. In July, Tony Romo dumped her on the eve of her 29th birthday - and in September, Jessica’s beloved dog Daisy was snatched by a coyote.
“Jess had hoped she would have a husband, baby and flourishing acting career by the time she turned 30,” said the friend.
“Instead, she feels like her best days are behind her.”
I don’t like the sound of that last part, especially combined with the looks of her Halloween costume. She’s gonna get one of those stupid short haircuts I just know it. God that’s gonna suck. With short hair, she’s gonna look just like a friend of mine. His name is Tom. He’s a mechanic.
(image source = inf daily)
MEL GIBSON - has a new baby girl. His Russian girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva gave birth Friday afternoon. Luckily she wasn’t born one day later, on Halloween, or else like 15 different prophecies in the Torah would have come true. None of them good. (abc news)
JESSICA SIMPSON - went on Twitter to defend her sister and attack ‘Melrose Place’, who fired Ashlee last week. “catching up on MP. who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.” After that she began to rub her breasts and wrote, “wow, I have really sensitive nipples.” No not really but that would have been awesome. (twitter)
THE WIRE - will now be offered as a course at Harvard. Watching the TV show. ‘The Wire’. Will be a course. At Harvard. “I do not hesitate to say that it has done more to enhance our understanding of the challenges of urban life and the problems of urban inequality, more than any other media event or scholarly publication,” sociology professor William J. Wilson said. In a related story, I announced I’ll be teaching a course entitled, “Why The Germans And Chinese Are Now Kicking Our Ass.” It’s not really a “course”, I just email people this story and then add, “WTF!!!”. (ny post)
ANNALYNNE MCCORD - went to Halloween as … bat … girl? Man? Both? Neither? I have no idea. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t wanna give away too many details, but let’s just say someone masturbated to these, if you catch my drift. (wenn)
Gerard Butler has made it up to “S” in his directory of women in Hollywood to have sex with, and apparently first in line was “Simpson, Jessica”. Page Six says…
Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler had a date at Soho House Tuesday night, with friends including her hair stylist pal, Ken Paves.
“They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken.”
People must feel confident when making a move on Jessica, because she was married to Nick Lachey. How high could her standards really be? If I were a girl I’d rather be raped by a guy whose penis was literally on fire while he was raping me than have sex with that moon-faced doofus Lachey.
Burger King and Fox have apologized to Jessica Simpson for a cartoon that aired on the Fox NFL pre-game show last Sunday. Apparently the cartoon, which you can see here, made jokes about her weight, but if you can identify any “jokes” please be sure to point them out.
A rep for Fox tells Usmagazine.com in a statement: “Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended.”
Hey did you ever see ‘Charlie Wilsons War’? Well the girl who played the dancer (video here) is the daughter of the Cowboys coach. Holy Shit, this website is fascinating!
(ironically, Jess looks pretty good lately, and only somewhat confused. hq jump here. source = fame and pacific coast)
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Anyone else getting this awesomely timed ad? God damn Scotch, the dog just died. Give her a minute.
Say what you will about Jessica Simpson, but she’s an optimist, as you can tell by the fact that she has taken to twitter to help find her dog after it was STOLEN BY COYOTES!
My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!
“Carmel”? What in the hell is “carmel”? I know what “caramel” is but quite frankly that makes even less sense. I don’t mean to brag but I think I know the color white when I see it.
