A “upfront” is an event held by networks where advertisers are invited to an extra fancy party and the stars of the network shows are there and everything is real sexy so people will buy lots of ads. Yesterday in New York, Jessica Simpson had the upfront for her VH1 show. It was the most appropriately named event ever. It’s like she has two asses, and one is on her chest.
(source = splash news online)
Jessica Simpson is in New York today, and last night she showed off her long not short hair when she attended the 125th anniversary of Good Housekeeping, whatever the hell that might mean.
It’s hard to know what to think after seeing these pictures. Sometimes it looks like they left her in a car on a hot day and she’s expanding and melting. Other times she looks like a perfectly normal girl, but to be honest I don’t like that either because this is Hollywood and I’ve been led to believe they reward girls based on an unrealistic standard of beauty. If I wanted to see normal I’d just go to the fucking mall.
(image source = pacific coast, inf daily and fame)
Yesterday Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves posted a few pictures on Twitter showing Jessica with what might be a super short (and kinda hot) haircut.
Paves posted a photo of Simpson, 29, smiling on a plane, her sunny blonde locks seemingly chopped off to a 60s-inspired pixie cut.
“Carol Brady who :)?” she joked.
“Stopped in West Palm and picked up my Aunt Sandy…off to Atlantic City!!!” Paves wrote.
A second photo showed Simpson’s elfin look in profile. “In flight hairdo fun!” she wrote.
Paves quipped of the look: “Aunt Vikki came along too!”
Holy. Christ. Is this seriously the kind of stuff these two say to each other? I’d rather have been on the Polish Presidents plane this weekend than Jessicas. But, whatever. So did Jess get a haircut, or is this just a wig like similar pics Paves took of Kim Kardashian back in June? Hopefully she got a haircut, because she looks pretty good with it. And maybe if she can’t hide under a mane of hair, she’ll lose some weight before they have to cart her fat ass around on a hand truck.
The may issue of Marie Claire has a picture of Jessica Simpson on the cover, and they say, “No Makeup, No Retouching, No Regrets.” They also seem to know if my boyfriend is tweeting about me.
“I don’t have anything to prove anymore,” she says. “What other people think of me is not my business.”
Jessica Simpson might as well give an interview where she talks about instructions given to her by the newspaper and how the CIA is drugging her toothpaste because she’s clearly lost her mind. Not that she looks bad or anything, but what other people think of her is definitely her business. It’s her only business for christs sake. Marie Claire might as well have a headline that says “In Memoriam. 1980-2010″
JESSE JAMES - is hoping time in rehab and some privacy will save his marriage. He also thinks maybe some aspirin will bring Brittany Murphy back to life. (the ap)
DINA LOHAN - says the report that Lindsay was behind on her rent is a complete lie and Lindsay is doing great. Man, what a relief. I was worried that Lindsay might be in some kind of trouble. Seems silly in hindsight. (radar)
LINDSAY LOHAN - did bounce her rent checks, but other than that, the story about being behind on her rent is a complete lie. So see, Lindsay did send a check. It’s the thought that counts. (tmz)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says women shouldn’t change just to please a man. “If you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.” Stay rigid and never compromise, that’s the key to a good relationship, says the girl who is divorced and has no boyfriend. (popeater)
TYLER READERS UNITE - and go to College Humors ‘Hottest College Girl’ contest and vote for Nikki (last girl, south region) because she reads Tyler too and asked me to do this. She’s impossibly gorgeous, has a perfect body and does kegstands in a bikini. Not only should she win, they should rename the championship trophy after her. (contest, facebook)
COLLEGE HUMOR - is having their Americas Hottest College Girl contest. Remember this hot bitch? Oh good you’re nodding (I can see you through your webcam, btw). Well that’s Nikki. And everyone should go vote for her. Because she reads Tyler too, and she asked me to put this up. So you two have a lot in common. If you vote for her she’ll probably wanna go out with you. (college humor, last girl in the south bracket - nikkis facebook)
JESSICA SIMPSON - says you have to know who you are before falling in love, and that “no man can define you.” Except in this case. And that man is Papa John. (people)
JESSE JAMES - is romantic. That’s why he waited a few weeks after marrying Sandra Bullock to start cheating again. Awww, he’s like a big teddy bear, that guy. (radar)
HULK HOGAN - says he became so depressed after his divorce that he took, “pills and rum, put a gun in my mouth and thought, pull the trigger.” Yeah, because Linda Hogan was such a prize. Looks like not being a loser is Hulks toughest opponent yet. (the sun)
