It would be remiss of me to not post the pictures of Jessica Simpsons sexy outfit that she wore in Aspen this week. I wonder what was caused more dicks to shrivel up; the bitter cold or the way her fat shapeless legs filled those tights.

Just yesterday it was reported that Jessica Simpson is worth 100 million dollars based on her clothing line alone, so maybe it’s not coincidence that today Us has a story saying there will very definitely be a prenup in place when she marries Eric Johnson.

Slamming a tabloid claim to the contrary, a source close to the engaged couple says that Johnson, 31, “is not a gold digger.”
Exhibit A, the source points out: “There will definitely be a prenup” for the pair.  “Jessica has said she wants one. Jessica and Eric have talked about it.”,
”[Eric] understands that there needs to be a prenup,” the insider explains. “He’s supportive of it.”
”He really loves her,” the source continues. “He’s a low key guy. He’s not into the glitz and materialism of Hollywood at all.”

Oh please. You have no idea what I go through to find pictures of her without that doofus in them. He clings to her day and night, especially on every red carpet. They’re practically conjoined, I bet if she were to masturbate, he would cum.

This story should be a real inspiration for someone who sucks at something (fashion, for example) but still wants to make a lot of money doing it.

The Jessica Simpson Collection, it turns out, has become one of the most successful celebrity fashion lines of all time, according to WWD. It will most likely become the first ever to earn more than a billion dollars in retail sales, considering her line brought in a whopping $750 million in retail sales this year alone, WWD reports.
Simpson’s estimated net worth from all the shoes, clothes and accessories she’s selling? A cool $100 million

Word is that Simpson will capitalize on her new fatness by expanding into a plus size line of clothes. Although Simpson is dumb as a rock, she might just think the + means her shoes are now fortified with vitamins or something.

Jessica Simpsons new fiance played in the NFL for 6 years, and even had a pretty good season in 2004, but he hasn’t had a team for 2 years now and never had a big contract. In other words he’s almost certainly broke, so before he proposed to Jessica, she had to go buy herself a ring and then pretend to be surprised. Popeater says…

The sight of Jessica Simpson’s $100,000 ruby-and-diamond Neil Lane engagement ring alone is enough to make you gasp, but the fact that she may have purchased it herself is enough to bring you to tears.
“No way could Eric, who doesn’t have a job at the moment, afford to purchase such an expensive ring,” a friend of Jessica’s tells me. “Yes, he made a little bit of money in the NFL and is from a wealthy family, but unless his parents helped him out, Jessica must have paid for it herself.”

What kind of woman would go buy her own wedding ring? A desperate one.

“First, we find out that Jessica doesn’t want to have a prenup, and now we find out that she might have paid for her own ring. It just doesn’t feel right to me,” a family friend tells me. “We all want Jessica to be happy and finally find true love after all she has been through, but she doesn’t understand that in the long run if she pays for everything it will hurt her relationship with any man.”

Gee what a surprise that Jessica picked out diamonds with a ruby in the middle. A ring with a red center? Fatty probably thought it was a jelly doughnut.

I think we all know that Jessica Simpsons marriage to Eric Johnson is gonna last about as long as the first piece of wedding cake they give her, so it would be dumb to not get a prenup and put her 100 million dollar fortune at risk. And since Jessica Simpson is dumb, that’s what she’s gonna do. Popeater says…

“Nick (Lachey) walked away with over $10 million of her money when they divorced, because they had no prenup. You would think she would have learned her lesson,” an insider tells me. “But where romance is concerned, Jess follows her heart not her head.”

Her dad, however, is not so sentimental.

“At the moment, Joe is sitting back and being a great father, supporting his daughter and his future son-in-law,” a family friend tells me. “However, you can bet after all the excitement has died down, Joe is going to do everything in his power to make sure Jessica doesn’t walk down the aisle until Eric signs away any right he might have to Jessica’s enormous fortune.”

I remember this dude from when he was playing for the Saints. If Joe wants to stop the marriage he should paint a goal line right in front of the alter. From what I could tell Eric thinks the world past that point is filled with monsters and he won’t go anywhere fucking near it.

Just one week after her ex-husband Nick Lachey got engaged to longtime girlfriend Vanessa Mannillo, Jessica Simpson got engaged to boyfriend Eric Johnson. What a coincidence! Us.com says…

On Saturday, Simpson flashed a sizable ring on her left hand during an appearance at Dillard’s at Oak Park Mall in Kansas City.
The Texas native began dating the former NFL player in May while he was estranged from his first wife, stylist Keri Johnson; their divorce was finalized five months later.
“I met a wonderful man,” Simpson tweeted of Johnson in September. “Damn, I’m lucky.”

“He a futball player,” she went on to tweet. “He big an strong, an cun carry like 10 bags of groceries at once. Trus me, I seen it! Thas when I knew!”