Jessica Simpsons dad is gay (allegedly)

By brendon October 24, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

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After 34 years of marriage, many people were surprised when Joe and Tina Simpson, the parents of Jessica Simpson and Jessica Simpson’s sister, filed for divorce last month, but you know who I bet wasn’t surprised? Joe’s teenage boyfriend.

…not only has a family source told the Enquirer that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, (but) the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy!
“Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider divulged. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.”

And yeah I know his “boy toy” is 20 and not a teenager but “teenage” sounded so much better. And who cares, this whole story is ridiculous anyway. I know a straight guy when I see one, and a youth pastor who wears bronzer and goes to hair salons is obviously into chicks.

Jessica Simpson would be a good short yardage back

By brendon October 22, 2012 @ 1:07 PM

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Her fiancé was in the NFL for 6 years, so it’s too bad Jessica Simpson didn’t give birth to a son because that kid would already have a football scholarship by now. Her legs are so muscular it’s insane. She’s a short haircut away from her baby thinking it has two dads.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Jessica Simpsons fiance cheated on her

By brendon October 03, 2012 @ 7:13 PM

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Jessica Simpsons fiancé Eric Johnson was still married when he and Jessica started dating, and now it turns out he might have been cheating on both of them. But don’t get too excited because it was in the lamest way possible.

Simpson may have thought Johsnons marriage to Keri Johnson was well and truly over by the time she started dating him, but sources exclusively tell Star that the former NFL player was actually sleeping with both of them at the same time.

This guy is really sort of a doofus but it does seem like he stumbled onto a loophole when it comes to cheating. It’s gonna be pretty hard for Jessica to take the moral high ground when the fight begins with her asking, “you cheated on me with your wife?”

Jessica Simpson looks… about the same

By brendon October 02, 2012 @ 11:40 AM

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Jessica Simpson wore some short shorts and high heels to go to a photo shoot yesterday, and it’s honestly hard to tell if she’s lost any weight or not. But it is worth noting that she isn’t leaving in these pictures. She was just going from car to car in the parking lot and telling her assistant, “What about this one, is there any food in this one? Check under the seats.”

(image source = pacific coast)

Jessica Simpson tried to get lap-band surgery

By brendon September 28, 2012 @ 9:44 PM

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Losing weight is hard and takes discipline, and Jessica Simpson is lazy and spoiled, so naturally she got tired of dieting to lose weight after giving birth almost immediately and asked doctors to give her a gastric by-pass. Twice.

Radar says…

“After having her daughter Maxwell, Jessica felt there was no way she could ever lose the weight on her own because she has struggled so much in the past and her post partum weight seemed to be growing, so like a true Hollywood girl, she sought out a quick surgical fix – lap band surgery!”

But they turned her down of course because at that point she had made more trips to the doctor than the gym. She’s hungry, not morbidly obese. (*)

(*) but still fat enough to put up pictures of lucy pinder in lingerie instead of jessica.

Jessica Simpson is back in daisy dukes

By brendon September 21, 2012 @ 6:43 PM

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Jessica Simpson stretched out a pair of her old daisy dukes today to go to lunch at Shutters in Santa Monica, and I’m not sure how this is possible, but she looked pretty good. She still looked enormous just 10 days ago at LAX, but now she looks ok. Hopefully her friend won’t let her forget she’s on a diet. Or where she lives, since parts of Santa Monica can get a little dicey at night.

(image source = wenn, splash)