Jessica Simpson paid $3 million to lose weight

By brendon December 12, 2011 @ 3:43 PM

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Weight Watchers will pay Jessica Simpson $3 million dollars to lose weight and endorse their diet plan after she gives birth. So in June, when you see Jessica Simpson waddle into court for a breach of contract lawsuit, this will be why.

(source = page six)

Jessica Simpson cries all the time for no reason

By brendon December 08, 2011 @ 4:23 PM

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Ever since she got pregnant, Jessica Simpson admits she’s an emotional mess and craves fattening food all the time, the inference being that this is somehow different from her life before she got pregnant.

Like a lot of expectant women, mom-to-be Jessica Simpson is craving comfort foods.
“This week it’s peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted. And then, I’ll put some salt on my hand like I’m taking a tequila shot and then take a bite of the sandwich.”
She also admitted her emotions are more heightened than usual. “That’s the one thing about pregnancy — I’ll cry at the drop of a hat,” she said. “Even a great souffle would make me cry.”

“Because they’re only one serving, and that really upsets me. Why don’t they make bigger ones like they do with regular cakes; it’s heartbreaking.”

Jessica Simpson can’t sell her baby pictures

By brendon December 05, 2011 @ 6:28 PM

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Remember back in October, when Jessica Simposn was trying to sell the story and first pictures of her pregnant but couldn’t find anyone to buy it? Ok well now replace those early pregnancy pictures with ones of Jessica 100 pounds heavier, combined with another 6 months of indifference, and you’ll understand why her first baby pictures aren’t gonna sell for any money either.

The Huffington Post says…

There’s simply not much money left in selling off baby pictures, so if Simpson wants to cash in, she might be out of luck.
“Jessica isn’t as relevant as she used to be. Her baby daddy [fiancé Eric Johnson] isn’t famous enough for anyone who doesn’t know her personally to care, and the trend of celebrity baby photos is done for the consumer as well. Let us know if when the kid is 10 it has its first kiss with Mason Kardashian. Then we’ll talk.”

Oh no we will not. Not unless you have a medium because if I still have to hear about the Kardashians, or the phrase “baby daddy”, in 10 years, I’ll have thrown myself in front of a train long before that.

so, there is this…

By brendon December 01, 2011 @ 8:17 PM

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Jessica Simpson was out in New York today with her sister Ashlee and Ashlees son Bronx, and here we see the only good thing about girls getting pregnant. Their tits quadruple is size. They should put a leash or something on Bronx, because if Jessica falls on her back that kid is gonna bounce to the moon.

(image source = splash, pacific coast, fame, flynet)

Jessica Simpson is really really pregnant, part 2

By brendon November 30, 2011 @ 2:36 PM

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I know we just covered this but Jessica Simpson was out in New York this morning and holy shit. That baby is either a bear or it has gigantism. Or she had sex with the Hulk but as far as I know he’s not even real. And she told Access Hollywood she isn’t due until spring, so she might only be 5 months pregnant here. She’s only 5’2″, her poor vagina is gonna get annihilated if this moose tries to go through there. If she ever has another baby the delivery is gonna look like a kid coming out of a water slide.

(image source = splash and bauer griffin)

Jessica Simpson is really really pregnant

By brendon November 30, 2011 @ 8:09 AM

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Jessica Simpson went to the Footwear News Achievement Awards last night in New York, and not only proved beyond any doubt that she’s pregnant, but also that she’ll attend literally anything if you tell her there’ll be cameras there.

(image source = getty)