07.07.2008 JIM CAREY IS OUTRAGEOUS

Jim Carey and his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy were in Malibu this weekend for a Fourth of July party when Jim saw a joke in the works and put on Jenny’s swimsuit.  I bet he said something crazy when he came out, like, "Does this make me look fat?"  Ha.  Haha.  You see, it's funny because normally a gentleman would not wear a ladies swimsuit.  And then walk around. Get it?  Do you get it?  He and Robin Williams are the kings of this kind of wacky comedy.  Because screaming something quickly is the same thing as having a joke.  Oh look, now Robin is taking that reporters notes and pretending it’s a hat.  Oh golly.  Now he’s acting like it’s a handkerchief for a sport coat and doing a crazy "gay" voice.  You know those gays.  Always fiddling with their handkerchiefs.

(picture source = inf daily)




10.11.2006 EVERYONE HATES RUSSELL CROWE

The always great Radar Online has their Hollywood poll up now, the end result of black-op undercover work to get the true feelings of "more than 50 top power players: studio execs, high-level agents from every major firm, and dozens of A-list producers, directors, managers, screenwriters, and publicists. These are people who have run studios, released blockbusters, won Oscars."  So, you know, powerful people.  The kind of people who commission snuff films.  Some of the highlights from the poll:

The Nightmare Actor : Russell Crowe won big here.  One producer  said, "Some incident can occur and he won’t show up on set for the next week—and you're screwed."  A studio head said, "Russell is an unhappy guy.  His process is difficult. You have to talk him through everything, and he always has an opinion. He thinks he's smarter than everybody else."  Crowe beat out Lindsay Lohan and Jim Carrey, who one source described as "depressed and weird."

The Most Sought After Actor : Brad Pitt and Will Smith top the list, with Pitt described as "charming, talented, handsome, and has international appeal."  Will Smith is in demand for his ability to make a hit from almost anything.  One source said, "I mean, you couldn't get a movie much worse than 'I, Robot', and it did giant business."

The Biggest Hack Director : Brett Ratner.   Second place wasn't even mentioned here, the "X-Men 3" director won and it wasn't even close.  His success "reflects more on his ability to kiss ass than any actual talent."

The Blogger With Million Dollar Abs And A Twinkle In His Eye : well, technically, Radar didn't address this hot button issue, clearly afraid of the swooning that would be sure to follow if they mentioned me with any ladies in the room.

see the whole list here. (I can't remember who but someone made the point about X3 that, in the first XMen, Magneto couldn't escape from a plastic prison with metal about 30 yards away.  in Ratners X3, Magneto could pick up the golden gate bridge.  hey continuity - fuck you.)