Shia LaBeouf came out of “retirement” to address a joke Jim Carrey made at the Golden Globes. On Sunday’s broadcast the formerly funny Carrey mocked Shia’s plagiarism scandal by saying, “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard… I believe it was Shia LaBeouf who said that.” The rapidly unretired Labeouf, decided that he had to hit back the only way he knows how: with unattributed quotes and nonsense. He Tweeted,
“If you explain @JimCarrey you’ve killed him, Nobody knows if it’s for real or not. That way he’s immortal.”
Ummmm, what the fuck are you talking about, Shia? Are you high on borrowed weed? He went on to insult Carrey with a YouTube video of his daughter’s band. He then apologized for implying that Ace Ventura was a bad dad:
“Jim Carrey states that he is deeply involved in his daughter’s life – I accept that, regret Tweet on the matter. Apologies to both parents.”
Then, in the only honest thing he’s said in a while, he Tweeted, “I’M NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE!” That’s fairly accurate. Though he could have gone with “‘I’M STILL A DICK!” or “I’LL VIOLATE MY OWN ASS TODAY!” If I was Jim Carrey I’d be pissed. Dan Clowes got a skywriting apology and all Carrey received was a nonsensical Tweet. I’d send him a basket full of Me, Myself, and Irene DVDs as a way of saying, “Apology not accepted, bitch”.
Jim Carrey has decided to bite the hand that’s still willing to pay him millions to make stupid faces by dissing his upcoming movie Kick-Ass 2. It seems that Ace Ventura has a problem with all of the violence in the film. Carrey plays Colonel Stars And Stripes, a vigilante that teams up with Kick-Ass. He Tweeted:
“I did Kickass a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence…I meant to say my apologies to others involve with the film. I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart.”
Sooo, the lead up of at least a year from the time he got to script until it was done shooting didn’t tip him off to the level of violence in the film? When he was shooting guns on the set for 10 hours a day didn’t give him a clue? Carrey didn’t seem to have a problem collecting the fat check for performing acts of gratuitous violence until after the film was wrapped. How convenient. The thing that happened at Sandy Hook was beyond fucked up but it’s not like it was the first time guns have been used to kill innocent people. Carrey has been a gun control advocate for years so if he found gun violence so offensive then why did he sign on to make the movie in the first place? Cha-ching.
Mark Millar, who wrote the comic and the screenplay, replied on his site. “I respect both his politics and his opinion, but I’m baffled by this sudden announcement as nothing seen in this picture wasn’t in the screenplay 18 months ago.” Welcome to the world of two-faced Hollywood douchebags, Mark.
Jim Carrey returned to the big screen for the first time in nearly two years with The Incredible Burt Wonderstone earlier this month, and so far it has been a huge bomb. But even if the film were a smash hit, people wouldn’t be talking about it, because it’s his recent Funny or Die effort that has people freaking out and stockpiling ammo for the coming Civil War.
Entitled “Cold Dead Hand”, Carrey’s music video is a country music throwback that picks a fight with Charlton Heston’s cold, dead, decomposed hand by mocking his infamous NRA battle cry. So what happens when the guy whose tiny dick you’re making fun of is too dead to defend himself? Fox News comes to his rescue in the easiest PR stunt that any failing actor could ask for.
Specifically, host of Red Eye and panelist on The Five Greg Gutfield teed off Carrey, accusing him of “killing more people than rifles” because he opposes vaccines, before going after him on Twitter. And really, nothing counters someone’s claim that you have a tiny penis like trying to fight someone on Twitter. I don’t even know how Gutfield can wear pants with that huge dick of his.
To recap; Jenny McCarthy thinks Jim Carrey should still be a father-figure to her 10-year-old son Evan, even though it’s not his kid and they broke up two years ago. And if Jenny finds a new boyfriend or husband at some point, even better. I think we can all agree that, ideally, the kids bedroom will be filled with every man Jenny McCarthy has ever dated.
Shockingly, Jim Carrey disagrees, and so he released this statement.
“I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan’s well being. It’s unfortunate that Evan’s privacy is not being considered.
“I love Evan very much and will miss him always.”
This may be a silly question, but why can’t she just explain the situation to her son. I know he used to have autism but Jenny cured that and now he’s fine. I don’t have the records in front of me but I assume there hasn’t be a recorded case of autism for several years.
So does her son have some new disease? Have pediatricians been sneaking into his room at night and giving him more vaccines? Dr. Tits should get back to the lab and stare at more things she has no understanding of, since that worked so well the first time.
(image source of jenny and evan, because i didnt consider his privacy either = fame/flynet)
Us magazine says that Jenny McCarthy is deeply hurt because Jim Carry no longer spends time with her 10-year old son, something she apparently didn’t anticipate when she and Carrey broke up two years ago.
McCarthy says Carrey has completely turned his back on McCarthy’s autistic son Evan, 10, following their 2010 split.
“I’ve tried to ask Jim numerous times to see Evan, because my son still asks (about him) almost weekly.”
“I tell Evan that someday you’ll cross paths, meet again. . . [but] it’s hard. He’s been in therapy. It’s a process, he’s working on it.”
“That seems totally reasonable,” said a guy who works at Budget car rental. “Jenny rented a Ford Mustang from us last summer, and I feel she should come by now and then and fill it with gas, and maybe put new tires on it, before we have to put it in therapy like some kind of fag.”
(image source of jenny filming a segment on ‘extra’ – wenn, fame/flynet)
Yesterday Jim Carrey posted a perplexing video on youtube professing his love for Emma Stone, whom he has never met and who really isn’t that great.
But not to worry, because later he went on his twitter and explained it was all a joke. Ha-ha?
Yes, my msg to Emma Stone was a comedy routine and the funniest part is that everything i said is tru.
And then later he wrote…
People often ask me if i’m being funny or serious. The answer is “YES”. ?;^]
It’s easier to believe that this was a joke if you’ve never been to his website. Jim Carrey is a god damn weirdo, and completely in love with himself, and he probably thought Emma would be on her knees within hours. Maybe the video was too subtle of a joke. Maybe Jim should kick in her door with a gun next time, but cover your ears, because big laughs are coming.