By Lex February 24, 2014 @ 5:17 PM
Maybe it’s because she’s still ten years behind the curve of her alcohol-addicted, carved up shrill Housewife castmates, but Joanna Krupa actually makes marriage look like a viable lifestyle option. The newlywed stage does seem to bring out the best in couples, a nice respite before the regret and accusations and bickering that will serve as the central focus of their relationship every single moment forever thereafter. I guess congratulations are in order to the dude who’s got her head planted between his legs. After she’s done, thank her politely, then leave for another country under an assumed name.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Travis January 21, 2014 @ 1:35 PM
Real Housewives star Joanna Krupa wasn’t always just another one of these “never was” so-called actresses and singers that make up the casts of the depressingly popular Bravo show. She used to be a pretty successful model that regularly graced the pages of Maxim and other such PG-13 tits and ass magazines, and that’s why it’s sort of depressing to see her playing second fiddle to some other Real Housewives star named Gretchen Rossi when they had lunch yesterday. I’m not saying that Joanna belongs on the A-list or anything close to that, but she can do a lot better than these glorified soccer moms. She should at least be hanging out with wealthy nobodies in their 20s, if not for her then at least for our sake.
Photo Credits: Michael Wright/WENN.com
By Lex January 13, 2014 @ 4:45 PM
It’s not exactly an Iron Maiden graphic or a Harley with the come-on ‘ride me’ etched into the panels, but Joanna Krupa is now the proud owner of a tramp stamp. I actually hate that term. I prefer to think of it as an ice breaker during doggy-style anonymous alley sex. Hey, nice tat. A heart, what’s it mean? Your dad died in front of you when you were little? Sorry about that. Is it cool if I keep plowing you?
Photo Credit: PCN
By Travis December 18, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Carmen Electra, Joanna Krupa and Lilly Ghalichi had dinner last night at RivaBella in West Hollywood, and while there’s nothing terribly newsworthy about that, it is fun to imagine that it was actually a meeting for aging models aching to remain relevant. Joanna would bang a gavel on the table and shout, “I call this meeting to order!” while Carmen would recommend that they all stick their asses out a little more while posing for cameras. Lilly would add, “I don’t know who I am either” and then Joanna would declare, “Great meeting, everyone” and they’d spend someone else’s money. It’s obviously not true, but it’s probably still in the neighborhood of accurate.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Lex December 16, 2013 @ 6:50 PM
I knew the Seminole Indians owned the Hard Rock casinos and cafes, I didn’t know the Hard Rock Casino in Tampa had the motto ‘Love All, Serve All’, slightly different from their sister hotel casino in Hollywood, Florida with the motto ‘Anna Nicole Smith’s heart stopped here’. The Tampa casino take their charitable motto seriously and gives you a warm hug and a bag of Jolly Ranchers after you zero out your bank account at the blackjack tables. As benevolent as these casino operators are, they do not tolerate racial insensitivity. They dropped Brandi Glanville from their bikini calendar launch party after her comments on her show that the darker-skinned housewife couldn’t swim because she was black. Brandi called it a funny ha-ha and contended she was drunk anyhow when she said it so by Irish bar rules it should’ve been forgiven after three punches to her face. But the Seminoles saw it differently and dropped her from the venue. They got housewife Joanna Krupa to take Brandi’s place. A bitter twist since the last time Brandi got loaded and opened her pie hole, she told everyone Joanna had a stanky snatch. Such are the fascinating turns in the lives of women who get wasted and say stupid shit for a living.
Photo Credit: PCN
By Travis December 11, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Real Housewives of Miami star and model Joanna Krupa was probably the most important celebrity in attendance at the Angels for Animal Rescue event at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel yesterday, because she’s the only person whose name I recognized. And to show everyone how big of an angel she is to the animals, she even held up a dog, as if to say, “I have saved this dog from danger and perhaps even death.” But then the dog simply vanished and I have no clue where it went. Did she just let it go back into the wild of Beverly Hills, where Pomeranians are as rampant as pigeons? Or was there a drop box at the door for borrowed animals? I’m guessing both.
Photo Credits: Winston Burris/WENN.com