Sometimes It’s Hard to Kill a Woman

By Lex October 20, 2014 @ 1:24 PM

Jodi-Arias-Modeling-Photo

Arizona is still trying to get the death penalty for Jodi Arias over six years after she shot, stabbed, and carved up her boyfriend because she got lost a little in her crazy girlfriend role. Arizona has always struck me as a place where they move pretty quickly on shit that needs getting done. The O.K. Corral, stealing old people from Floriday, the University of Phoenix passing out college degrees in less time than it used to take to download a Cindy Margolis jpeg on a 14.4 modem. ┬áBut they just can’t seem to bring themselves to agree on the death penalty for this convicted murderer.

If you give defense attorneys enough time, they will bring the fucking kitchen sink into the defense of their client. Especially in a death penalty sentencing phase because the thought of murdering murders is abhorrent to many.

Jodi Arias [now claims] that ex-lover Travis Alexander wrote letters to her apologizing for an alleged incident in which she said she caught him masturbating while looking at pictures of young boys.

It’s sort of unclear how even if true that goes to mitigating her butchering him to death in the shower. Was she defending the integrity of America’s youth from being virtually spunked? Did he force her to call herself Billy and dress in Little League uniforms during sex play? I’m not a death penalty proponent but I’m so tired of this chick I might grab some Good and Plenty’s and go watch if there’s tickets.

It’s hard for many people to order the execution of a woman, especially when she’s dressed like their mom. This is especially true of men. Most women would order the slow painful execution of a chick for not returning a scarf or making eyes at their man. Men are inherently inferior at dealing with the dirty jobs in life. It’s probably because they’ve never experienced child birth. Also, because they imagine if they spare Jodi Arias her life they might somehow get to fuck her during conjugal visits and see for themselves just how crazy she gets in the sack.

Saving Jodi Arias Has Cost Arizona Taxpayers $2 Million Already

By Lex January 30, 2014 @ 5:26 PM

Do you remember the good old days when somebody stabbed and shot somebody else unexpectedly in the shower and then everybody in the dead person’s family went and killed the killer and then there was a good cry, followed by a hoedown and people got loaded and made more babies because that’s how we deal with loss?. Yeah, I don’t remember it either. But in Arizona, it wasn’t all that long ago. If movies are the accurate retelling of history I think they are, Tombstone, Arizona knew how to get this kind of shit done right and quick. But modern day Arizona is now two million dollars and several years counting into keeping Jodi Arias alive after she went batshit crazy on her boyfriend for all the reasons batshit crazy people start stabbing and shooting their boyfriends. I’m not saying it’d have been better justice if somebody from Travis Alexander’s family would’ve just maybe snuffed her out early on, I am saying it would’ve been two million dollars cheaper. C’mon, kids need textbooks in Tucson. Let’s waive some rules and set her loose out in the desert with a ten minute head start.

Jodi Arias Lives to Recycle, Or Wants To

By Lex May 23, 2013 @ 1:45 PM


It’s a scientific fact that girlfriends who are crazy sex fiends are also just plain crazy. Not all of them will murder you bloody in the shower like Jodi Arias did her boyfriend who thought he lucked into a hot piece of crazy tail. Some will just bang all your coworkers then laugh hysterically. Others might empty your bank account and blow it all on designer cats they toss from their speeding car. And then laugh hysterically. In all cases, you will wind up wishing you’d been butchered in the shower.

Before Jodi Arias gets marched out into the desert and shot or however they off death row prisoners in Arizona, she wants the jury to know that if she’s allowed to live, she’ll start a recycling program in prison. Had she tried this random save in an L.A. courtroom, not only would her life be spared, she’d be released from prison entirely, heralded in song on the shoulders of an environmentally grateful jury of her peers. We fucking love recycling in L.A. It’s the leading religion. Too bad for Jodi she blew her gasket in Arizona. She’s off to meet her maker.