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Biden Sexual Assault Speech at the Oscars Should Be Thrilling

Vice President Joe Biden will introduce Lady Gaga at the Oscars Sunday Night with a speech about college campus sexual assaults. Presumably he's against. More importantly, traffic in L.A. isn't shitty enough during Oscars weekend. We could use a V.P. motorcade and additional street closures. According to the White House, approximately 99.9% of all women on college campuses will be raped at least thrice, just during...read more

Joe Biden's Son No Longer Sea Worthy

Joe Biden's son Hunter was kicked out of the Navy after testing positive for cocaine. This wouldn't be a story if Hunter was a tyke fresh out of college, but at the age of forty four he is the oldest living man named Hunter and a partner at an investment firm. We will never know why Hunter decided to join the Navy after his first couple of million bucks. It's sort of a young man's game. Or I suppose a pretty cheap...read more

Joe Biden Jumps The Poor Train

Joe Biden has joined the chorus of politicians desperately trying to seem poor. I guess the hip hop bling culture hasn't invaded the ranks of white career politicians just yet. Biden says he has no investments and doesn't even have a savings account. My twelve year old niece has a savings account. If this is true, it suggests that Biden is fiscally retarded and we might want to remove him from the White House as he is...read more

President Obama and Daniel Craig Ask That You Kindly Stop Raping Women (VIDEO)

The Vice President is like the less ambitious son who still lives at home who you give a few odd jobs to keep him from hanging around the house and eating all the cereal. You don't give him Ukraine or long term unemployment, but you let him handle the funerals of third world leaders and hiding the easter eggs for the annual White House lawn hunt. Then, when he asks to jump on a more media noteworthy political...read more