By Jack October 03, 2014 @ 12:00 PM
Reality TV stars Joe and Teresa Giudice are going to jail for tax fraud. Before they are locked up and raped repeatedly by people who don’t give a shit so much about you being a Bravo! Housewives star, bright white toothed Andy Cohen is going to interview them and pretend television exposure was good for them in the long run.
Read all about how long The Giudice’s can expect to be forcibly sodomized. (TMZ)
Katherine Heigl’s crew pulls out their schlongs during her latest fuck scene. (Huffington Post)
Chrissy Teigen “accidentally” slips a nip. (Drunken Stepfather)
Abigail Ratchford in a bikini makes my wiener happy. (Hollywood Tuna)
Danielle Knudson in lingerie is part of your complete breakfast. (Popoholic)
Turns out Nicholas Sparks is an anti-Semite AND a shitty writer. (Dlisted)
Jessie J has a nice pair of double Ds in Cosmo UK. (COED)
Photo credit: Splash News
By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 5:20 PM
You can only protest your innocence for so long before the court date arrives and you need to look contrite and beg the judge for leniency as you plead guilty to lying, cheating, and stealing. Joe and Teresa Giudice, of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, were facing up to 30 years in prison for making up bankruptcy debts, then making a bunch of dough from Bravo and hiding that from Uncle Sam as well. Pretty standard grifter stuff. They won’t get anything close to 30 years, maybe a few months, because America still lets con artists skate with lots of fines and public humblings. It goes back to the old days when the money classes decided they needed to slap each other on the wrist for being naughty natties, but not open the door to the hangings and beheadings reserved for the apple-stealing riffraff.
“I will describe the choices I made, continue to take responsibility for my decisions and express my remorse to Judge Salas and the public. I am heartbroken that this is affecting my family — especially my four young daughters, who mean more to me than anything in the world.” — Teresa Giudice
Now that sounds like a good mom of four young daughters. I hope she describes her choices in a new book that includes some killer recipes for easy lasagna and some advice on what to do with the kids on a summer staycation. Just make sure to keep those book sale receipts, eh, Teresa.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Jack November 25, 2013 @ 1:18 PM
Soon to be convicted criminal Joe Giudice is apparently cheating on his banshee wife Teresa with some random chick. The greasy fraud was spotted by RadarOnline 30 miles from home having lunch with a woman who was hiding behind a big hat and sunglasses. During the meal he repeatedly reached out and touched her with his salami styled fingers. Joe has been in serious trouble for fraud and financially shady shit that’s likely to send him to jail soon. His wife Teresa, the shrieking beast star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, has also been indicted for taking part in Joe’s dirty deals. If she finds out he’s rubbing his greasy paws on another woman, the first thing she’ll do is probably sleep with one of Joe’s friends for revenge. I don’t envy any of Joe’s friends at the moment.
Photo credit: RadarOnline
By Lex July 30, 2013 @ 12:22 PM
There’s really nothing more satisfying than when a reality star goes to prison. I mean, short of a sex tape from the few good looking ones, this is the best you can hope for. It’s some kind of Karmic justice against all the annoying people in the world wrapped up into the cell block rape of some identifiable names. I’ve never seen the Real Housewives of New Jersey because I have male parts, but I’m told Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe are two of the big stars. I guess the happy Jersey couple maybe kind of lied and defrauded the shit out of their finances and taxes and business deals over the past decade and are now facing thirty years in real scary prison. It’s going to be a scramble for Bravo to replace these two con artists on the show. Though I suppose scraping up some dog crap and painting a pair of fake titties on it wouldn’t take that long.
Photo Credit: WENN