Amber Heard Laughing All The Way To The Bank

Amber Heard testified in court of the horrors of Johnny Depp's domestic abuse then left with her obvious lesbian box licker with an expression which could only be described as having just pulled a fast one. The best things in life are free. read more

Amber Heard Blackmails Johnny Depp

According to comedian Doug Stanhope who was hanging out at Johnny Depp's house the night of the alleged abuse, the entire facial bruising is a domestic abuse ploy by Amber Heard to dig into Depp's deep pockets. Stanhope notes that Depp's friends knew that Heard was a... read more

Depp's Ex Has His Back

Johnny Depp's ex-wife essentially called Amber Heard an opportunist in a handwritten letter stating she doesn't believe Depp has an abusive bone in his heavily accessorized body. People change. Depp probably didn't punch Amber Heard. He probably shot putted an iPhone at... read more

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Amber Heard Bruised Face Leaving Court

Just when you thought there was nothing left to the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard out of nowhere divorce filing, along comes Amber Heard with one a bruise on the right side of her face. Heard claims that Depp threw his iPhone at her over this past weekend. It's completely... read more

Johnny Depp Not Down With Spousal Support

Amber Heard is demanding spousal support in her divorce from Johnny Depp which seems ridiculous after being married for a year and should definitely factor into the non-existent gender pay gap. If you count banging an old goth for a year as a job. Some women do. Heard is... read more

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Lasted More Than a Year

Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp. They were married for fifteen months. Enough time for nine different celebrity magazine cover stories about their fabulous love affair. Heard cited irreconcilable difference. Most notably she's a thirty year old lesbian and... read more

Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Apologize And Shit Around The Web

You'll recall that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard got in trouble down under when they snuck their rat-like dogs into Australia. Today they were forced to make an apology PSA video that is super weird. They look like they are on more drugs than Chateau MarmontBelushi. The... read more

Johnny Depp Back On The Chain Gang

Johnny Depp is reportedly facing up to 10 years in prison and $263,000 in fines for bringing his two lap dogs into Australia on his private jet along with a bunch of caviar and a shipment of ascots. That's if he's prosecuted. By that rationale I'm facing a thousand years... read more

Depp's Dogs On Death's Door And Shit Around The Web

Walking caricature Johnny Depp sneaked his yorkies into Australia and the Aussies are pissed because every time the white man brings new animals onto the island continent, more kangaroos die. Look for the dogs to be slaughter in the bush. Read all about Depp's Australian... read more

Johnny Depp Cash Machine

Johnny Depp has a side gig with Harper Collins where he publishes books which have already been written and keeps the money. His pretentiously monikered Infinitum Nihil company has re-published a few books which were out of print until it was realized a super handsome... read more

Johnny Depp Has Standards

Johnny Depp chose a press junket to declare that actors who use their celebrity to make musical appearances make him sick. Odd mostly because Johnny Deep is an actor who uses his celebrity to make musical appearances. Or maybe Marilyn Manson pulls him out of the crowd... read more

Amber Heard Brought A 1920s Gangster To Her Movie Premiere

Johnny Depp has appeared to have moved on from his two-decade run as a living rock star pirate in favor of this new look as an early 20th century gangster, or at least a middle-aged asshole who still shows up to swing revivals. He joined his girlfriend Amber Heard at the... read more