Johnny Depp is single

By brendon June 19, 2012 @ 3:26 PM

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Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have been together for almost 15 years, and though they never married they have two kids together (13 year old daughter Lily-Rose and 10 year old son Jack) but after months of rumors that their relationship was in trouble, today it was officially announced that they have in fact separated.

“Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated. Please respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children.”

Indeed, yes, people should do that, because Johnny Depp is about as nice and decent a human being as you’ll ever find, in Hollywood or anywhere else.

But first what the fuck is with her teeth? Seriously. Of course he broke up with her. Her smile is like a black hole of sorrow that eats your happiness when you make eye contact with it.

heres why Johnny Depp has a dead bird on his head

By brendon April 23, 2012 @ 5:13 PM

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Despite a wide variety of idiotic theories (like this Marilyn Manson one), Johnny Depp now says that he owes his look as Tonto in the upcoming Lone Ranger movie to a painting of a Crow Indian. And the fact that he saw it wrong. EW says…

“I’d actually seen a painting by an artist named Kirby Sattler, and I looked at the face of this warrior and thought: That’s it.’
“It just so happened Sattler had painted a bird flying directly behind the warrior’s head. It looked to me like it was sitting on top. I thought: Tonto’s got a bird on his head. It’s his spirit guide in a way. It’s dead to others, but it’s not dead to him. It’s very much alive.”

So is this still supposed to be a respectful look at Native American spirituality? Because the hero takes advice from a dead bird on his head. Even Chief Wahoo of the Cleavland Indians would think that’s kinda racist.

‘Dark Shadows’ Has a Trailer, Suprise It’s Terrible

By author March 16, 2012 @ 10:00 AM

It’s no secret that Tim Burton no longer directs a film without casting his wife, Johnny Depp Helena Bonham Carter. There are a few other things that you can almost always count on from Tim, all of which appear in the new trailer for ‘Dark Shadows.’

- Recycled dark set pieces from ‘Edward Scissorhands,’ ‘Beetlejuice,’ ‘Batman,’ ‘Sleepy Hollow,’ ‘Sweeney Todd…’
- An awful, dry joke with a reaction shot of Johnny raising an eyebrow. (What a card!)
- 70′s funk and rock. Ok, admittedly this is not a consistent element of Burton’s films but warrants mention in this case because, seriously Barry fucking White?! At this point Depp should just be mugging directly to the camera with a line like “If they think Nixon is bad, wait’ll they get a loada me.”

Oh look, Eva Green is in this movie and has fantastic breasts, so at least there’s that.

(Image Source = Getty)

Johnny Depp feels Tonto would wear a crow for a hat

By brendon March 08, 2012 @ 3:12 PM

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Mega-Producer Jerry Bruckheimer has a twitter apparently, and this morning he posted the first look at Armie Hammer as Dan Reid and Johnny Depp as Tonto in ‘the Lone Ranger’, though if they wanted to call this a bio-pic about WCW superstar Sting or a very literal remake of ‘The Crow’, that would probably work too.

Johnny Depp is very spooky

By brendon January 20, 2012 @ 4:50 PM

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Warner Bros has released this picture of Johnny Depp in the Tim Burton version of ‘Dark Shadows’, where he apparently doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s a vampire. He’s as vampiry as anyone could ever look, short of just shape shifting into a bat and say “squeak squeak” for 2 hours. .

the Lone Ranger movie is back on

By brendon October 13, 2011 @ 10:47 AM

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Back in September, the Lone Ranger movie starring Johnny Depp as Tonto was shut down because Disney didn’t want to pay 250 million dollars to make a movie about Indian shape shifting werewolves. But now it’s back on, because paying 215 million to make a movie about Indian shape shifting werewolves is more reasonable. Hopefully that will still be enough to buy all the bronzer needed to make Johnny Depp look like an Indian.

source = variety