Johnny Manziel Charging Fifty Bucks For Selfies

January 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ronda Rousey claiming “rock bottom” is laughable when simply reading the next sports news headline. Johnny Manziel has been booked by sports merchandise store in the Houston area to sell autographs and take paid selfies at two of their area mall store locations.

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Johnny Manziel Still Not Broke Somehow

December 7, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some awesome friend of Johnny Manziel posted a SnapChat of him pounding Fireball at 8 am in Miami for his 24th birthday but don’t be fooled, Manziel does this shit everyday. So would most people if not for the dreaded hangovers, massive anxiety attacks, and in this case the full understanding that your thirst for booze cost you your job and millions of dollars.

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Johnny Manziel More Bad Advice

September 6, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Johnny Manziel is apparently reenrolling at the University of Texas to finish his bullshit degree in Recreation, Parks, and Tourism Sciences. The entire point of having a fake major is that you don’t study for it.

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Johnny Manziel’s Got It All Figured Out

June 30, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Johnny Manziel has been wandering Cabo in a Browns jersey and a bandana which reads “Fucked Up” which is exactly what Keanu Reeves would do in a movie before getting his act together. Unfortunately that is not Manziel’s fate, not attractive enough.

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Johnny Manziel Finds New Rock Bottom

June 28, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

We’re going to feel bad for laughing about Johnny Manziel when he’s dead in six months but in the meantime we should make hay while the sun is shining. His attorney in his hit-and-run case just accidentally texted the entire Associated Press that Manziel is unable to sober up for a court appearance.

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Johnny Manziel Served

June 10, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Life isn’t looking up when you’re being served with court papers outside a nightclub at two am and even TMZ can’t figure out which of three pending legal cases is summoning you.

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Johnny Manziel Seems Playful (VIDEO)

June 1, 2016 | video | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Friends of Johnny Manziel became concerned when the former NFL quarterback didn’t arrive in The Hamptons to host a scheduled party. Especially concerned as to who was going to put down their credit card to get the party started in the drunk dipshit’s absence. These are the kinds of friends you quickly accumulate as a free spending addict.

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Johnny Manziel Keith Moon Status

May 31, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Johnny Manziel will either be dead in six years or become a born again Christian on the 7-Eleven parking lot lecture circuit. He reportedly was at a family function and then disappeared via helicopter only to be spotted blacked out in a bar hours later smelling of skidmarks and discount jerky.

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Johnny Manziel Hard to Kill

April 14, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Johnny Manziel has been a famous drunk for so long now it’s hard to imagine he’s only twenty-three. He has a solid ten years before he’s at the Lamar Odom brothel cashing out his life stakes for pussy and death mints. Since being cut by the Browns, akin to being dumped by an ugly girlfriend, Manziel’s […]

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Johnny Manziel Pink Slipped

March 11, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Cleveland Browns released Johnny Manziel after carefully considering the impact of their franchise making a good decision. Manziel was released because he was an immature out-of-control drunk who used his status as a highly touted prospect to fuck tons of women and punch a couple on the backend of benders. Manziel was considered a […]

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