Jordin Sparks Seems A Lot More Interesting

By Travis May 15, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

This might be Jordin Sparks if you believe Jordin Sparks

Some people might remember Jordin Sparks from American Idol, while others might remember her from nothing else because nobody watched Idol when she was on it, and even fewer people watch it now. But according to great American historians who keep track of these stupid, lazy reality shows so that we don’t have to watch them, Jordin used to be pretty heavy. Lately, she has been showing off her considerable weight loss in the best way possible – by posting a bikini selfie of herself on Instagram. Sure, it’s grainy and blurry, and that might not even be her, but at least Jordin posted a photo of someone in a bikini. It’s a hell of a lot more generous than what most celebrities are doing lately.

CALM DOWN FATTY

By brendon September 08, 2008 @ 6:27 AM

During his uncomfortably unfunny opening monologue, Russell Brand made some jokes about the Jonas Brothers and Promise Rings. Jordin Sparks (I have no idea who that is) took offense, so when she went on stage to introduce TI, she said something about how promise rings are cool, and not everyone wants to be a slut. And it really made me think. Jordin Sparks is cool.  I wonder if all the other kids who never have sex are just as neato?  Later I forgot this lesson and banged a hot Asian chick with big tits.  I had barely even gotten my pants back on before I started to realize what a lame loser I am.