Josh Hartnett and his girlfriend Romina Ferrera are in Ischia, Italy this week and even though she’s not hot and her banner picture has the smallest ‘censored’ tag ever seen on this page (*), he still doesn’t deserve to be in Italy dating a girl who wears slutty bikinis and casually flashes her breasts. In every movie that mumbling jackoff has ever been in it looks like his character is an old Chinese man. In “Pearl Harbor” I couldn’t even tell what side he was on.
(*) compare it to the one on Mareline, which could be pulled behind a plane to advertise the site yet still doesn’t cover her breasts.
Up until last week, Josh Hartnett was known for mumbling incoherently in otherwise good movies and squinting, but then the Daily Mirror said a hotel security camera caught him having sex in a meeting room. Needles to say, Josh isn’t gonna stand for anyone alleging he had done something interesting.
The 30-year-old said through his lawyers that he is seeking damages for defamation. Hartnett is also seeking a public apology, according to the statement.
The allegations are "not only untrue but a complete fabrication", said his legal representatives, adding they were "defamatory and unsubstantiated".
So to recap, the Mirror said he had consensual sex with a hot girl who couldn’t keep her hands off him, and Josh Hartnett wants you to know that’s a god damn lie. Next he's suing Variety for saying he’s handsome and the Wall Street Journal for claiming his penis is, quote, “magical”.
Josh Hartnett is still boring, but slightly less so if this MSNBC story is true…
Hartnett and an unnamed female friend allegedly provided a SoHo hotel staff with unexpected evening’s worth of awkward entertainment.
According to a source, Josh and his companion entered what they believed was a secluded area of the hotel, a little-used library, and drew the curtains before getting cozy.
“Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy,” said the source who watched to actor’s actions on the hotel’s monitor. “Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place — the library included.”
Several members of the hotel staff huddled around the monitor, but the source said, “No one quite knew where to look and there was a very awkward silence.”
The story sounded believable until that part. I used to work at the Ritz Carlton in Marina del Rey and we would go to security and watch chicks give guys blowjobs in the hot tub all the time. In between high-fives and calling her awesome, I assure you we knew where to look. At her head as it bobbed up and down. Was Hartnett at a hotel or a Mormon math camp?
(picture source = inf daily)
If you don't now who Nadine Coyle is, your life isn’t as happy as it could be. She's one of the three hot pieces in the Brit girl band Girls Aloud. I have no idea if she can sing, she might not even have a tongue for all I know, but I do know she's hot and has charmingly bad taste in boyfriends. She dated Jesse Metcalfe for the longest time, and now the Daily Mail says…
Meanwhile Cheryl's fellow Girls Aloud member Nadine Coyle is still in LA. The 22-year-old missed the Brits, claiming she had lost her passport. But it has been rumoured that there might be a more romantic reason behind the snub. She is now reportedly dating Hollywood actor Josh Hartnett.
Between his squinty eyes and creepy thin mouth, Josh Hartnett looks like an equals sign come to life, so I have no idea how he’s managed to run through so much championship level kitty, all I know is I think I have a real shot to get on Nadine. I'm at least as interesting as those two dorks, meaning I’m at least as interesting as a piece of wood.
(and yes, this was all just a poorly thought out and executed excuse to post a pictures of Nadine Coyle in a bikini, because there aren’t many. Full size here. The rest are her performing at T4 on the Beach, whatever the fuck that is)
BRITNEYS DRUG DEALER IS A GIRL: Star says that a "pretty, petite brunette who specializes in top-grade cocaine and Ecstasy," has been visiting Britney Spears at all hours of the night during her recent stays in various Beverly Hills hotels. "One night, she came by three times between midnight and 5 a.m. Britney doesn't even try to hide it anymore." So apparently if you want to find Britney’s hotel room, just follow the groove worn into the carpet by all the drug dealers and pizza guys.
JOSH HARTNETT AND RIHANNA? - Us magazine says that Josh Hartnett can add Rihanna to his list of hook-ups that already includes Scarlett Johansson and Helena Christensen. "Hartnett, 29, was spotted locking lips with the “Umbrella” singer, 19, last night at NYC club Pink Elephant, a witness tells Usmagazine.com.” When asked for a comment, Hartnett walked into a door because he has comically squinty eyes and faggity long bangs.
KENDRA IS A GOOD DRESSER - TMZ says that Kendra Wilkinsons outfit for last nights "Celebrity Rap Star" on MTV featured pants that were "painted on - literally!" But, umm, very obviously they're not. They're just tight. Because she's a hussy. And hussies wear tight pants. It's in the bible.
A worldwide movement backed by big name celebrities like Leonardo Di Caprio, Orlando Bloom, Pink, The Killers and Josh Hartnett kicked off in London yesterday with the stated goal of beating global warming. Global Cool launched in London and LA and is calling on one billion people to reduce their carbon emissions by one ton a year for the next 10 years. Global Cool claims the climatic tipping point - when the climate becomes irreversibly damaged - can be turned back if global CO2 emissions are reduced by one billion tons a year. Some tips to get started:
Don’t drive: “Walk, go by horse, run, rollerskate, take a coach, bus or train.”
Don’t bathe: they recommend showers, “If you really must take a bath, save energy and share it with a really dirty friend.”
Don’t fly: “Hey hotshot, do you really need to fly to that meeting?”
Oddly enough, Josh Hartnett was at the London press conference. I can only assume he tunneled there. Josh says:
“If water levels continue to rise at this rate, my house in New York will be underwater, and I’ll have to get a gondola to get around. It’s frightening … I grew up in Minnesota which is usually a cold place, but we’ve seen abnormally warm winters the last couple of years, which is unnerving.
And if the earth was 50 years old, that might mean something. All it really does is demand this quote from Matt Stone: "Actors and actresses are the worst, because they're just fucking monkeys. Half the people in this country could do what they do but for some reason they think their opinion matters." Granted, rolling around in the mud and living in some third world nightmare where alien like diseases are the number one export and "ham" on a menu is simply a space saving way to write "hamster" does sound pretty great, but I’m gonna have to think about it. Do some reading. And maybe Josh could do some reading as well. Maybe on video conferencing, for example.
