The Houghs Seem Like The Fun Mormons

By Lex July 29, 2014 @ 9:28 AM

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Apparently, seeing Julianna Hough and Derek Hough dance in sequins is a thing as the brother and sister have been on tour this summer in cities where men are allowed to stare deep into their little sister’s vaginas without being arrested. The siblings have been dancing together since they were little kids when Julianne would force Derek try on her dresses by saying, ‘Hey, Derek’. It was all gender identity fun and games until the Mormon God cursed Julianne with discovering Ryan Seacrest trying on her negligee two decades later. Imagine that blood curdling scream. If you’re hoping to see the Hough’s show, you’re shit out of luck. The run just ended. But for the same price I know a guy who will blow you while pretending he’s your sister and he’s worried your dad is going to walk in. I mean, I know of him.

Photo Credit: Splash

Julianne Hough Is Such A Free Spirit

By Travis February 25, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

Taking a much deserved vacation somewhere on the brink of irrelevancy, Julianne Hough also took a moment to make a memory with the photographers that are keep her career on life support by whipping out her iPhone and snapping a shot for her album. The actress and her group of friends spent the rest of their time at Manhattan Beach walking and dancing around like they were starring in a tampon commercial, which, at this point in Julianne’s career, would be like a gift from god. After the fun, Julianne and her friends probably went home, rubbed some shoe polish all over their faces and then came back and did it again, except this time while singing Salt-N-Pepa songs. Those quirky white girls know how to keep it fresh.

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Julianne Hough Apologizes for Not Being Black

By Lex October 28, 2013 @ 2:31 PM

Julianne Hough Wears Blackface To A Halloween Party In Hollywood
Julianne Hough made the massive mistake over the weekend of offending a dude who works at the NAACP in Pennsylvania. No, she didn’t go on a racist rant like Alec Baldwin or sieg heil like Jesse James, she dressed up like a black character from Orange is the New Black, the prison bitches show from Netflix. Easily offended people were offended and denounced Julianne for her minstrel show ‘blackface’ and for not knowing her history. Because if she had known her history, she’d know that her costume shared zero association with blatantly racist blackface tradition, other than her attempt to color her skin to mimic the actress she was portraying. Like every single actress in Hollywood does for a film role or just to look deeply tanned despite hiding like a shrinking albino from the sun. The far greater tradition of Hollywood is political correctness and knee-jerk apologies, so Julianne quickly issued her own. On Twitter, well, Twitlonger, which is the site for people who can’t be banal and insipid in just 140 characters. She realizes that her Halloween costume offended people, like every great Halloween costume ever. Still waiting on her apologies for Rock of Ages and pretending that Ryan Seacrest is straight.

Photo Credit: PCN

Julianne Hough Likes Really Tight Pants

By Lex October 23, 2013 @ 3:33 PM

Juliane Hough Wears Very Tight Leggings Leaving A Gym In Los Angeles
Julianne Hough is wearing these leggings because they help her optimal exercise performance. The fact that her cheeks and vagina lips are showing is just a byproduct of her need to reduce the wind resistance on her body during Pilates. People who don’t know shit about fluid dynamics will probably suggest she’s just trying to get the cameras to snap her fine ass. They just don’t understand drag coefficient like Julianne does.

Photo Credit: WENN

Julianne Hough Is A National Treasure

By Travis July 19, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

By all accounts, Julianne Hough was pretty upset when Ryan Seacrest broke off their relationship earlier this year so he could hire some other younger models to hang out with him and pretend that he isn’t built like a Ken doll. But while most women might have fallen into a serious depression after losing a man worth close to a trillion dollars, Julianne stayed strong and kept going to the gym every day to keep her body looking fantastic.

And, much more importantly, she went to the gym and let people photograph her doing it so we know that she’s keeping it tight. Julianne may not be a good actress at all – in fact, she’s terrible – but God bless her for giving us an equally good reason to talk about her.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Julianne Hough Is Keeping It Tight

By Travis May 30, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

It has been almost two months since Ryan Seacrest broke up with Julianne Hough, but there are still rumors floating around that she broke down crying when the two ran into each other earlier this month and he bought her a $3 million mansion to keep her from blabbing to everyone about their relationship. But those rumors suck compared to the ones about who she’s been sleeping with since her beard service, because she’s a hot 24-year old actress that shouldn’t go to waste.

Julianne has already been linked with engaged actor Alex Pettyfer and it is even believed that Leonardo DiCaprio charmed her into joining his topless harem aboard his orgy yacht. But true or not, it’s good to see Julianne was at the gym yesterday keeping the whole package fit, because she’ll never fulfill her destiny as Tom Cruise’s next fake wife with a saggy ass.

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)