As far as I can tell, all the living actresses from the original Dallas TV series are now selling groundbreaking skincare products on late night television. The dead actresses seem to be less productive. 1am to 3am seems to be prime time for people with blemishes and reptilian scaly skin and despondent greasy hair to flip through the cable channels to find solace. I guess if you have all those problems, you only want to be up in the dark when there’s less chance of catching your own reflection. This chick Julie Gonzalo plays the character on the new Dallas that was first played by Victoria Principal in the original series, when it was original and not just a We Ran Out of Fucking Ideas for TV Shows blinker on TNT. Still, when they do re-hash old shows they have the decency to cast girls with bigger yabbos to send signals to your subconscious that this is something you ought to watch. If they were honest and just called it Dallas But with Bigger Tits, I’d probably watch. It’s the subterfuge I can’t abide.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet