theres a $65 million reward to turn this gay girl straight

By brendon September 26, 2012 @ 6:41 PM

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If God didn’t want Asian girls to have sex with each other, he should have thought of that before he made them so hot. Asian girls are awesome. They’re short, skinny, they have long hair and really soft skin. Obviously everyone is gonna want to have sex with them. But a Hong Kong billionaire is upset about that because his 33-year-old daughter is one of them, in fact she’s married to another girl, so he’s offering $65,000,000 to any guy that can “fix” his little problem.

And since that’s not how being gay works, a better idea might be to get a bunch of hot Asian models, like Levy Tran (below) and Julri Waters (above) and Hiromi Oshima, and then go demand a million dollars for every month that they DON’T try to fuck his daughter. If you think she’s gay now, wait until she has sex with them. That will make things way way worse.

Dave Grohl: “you shouldn’t have to do f**king Glee.”

By brendon March 18, 2011 @ 1:45 PM

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Glee is a huge success by any measure, but that doesn’t mean everyone wants to be a part of it. Slash was the first to reject the idea of using his music for a Guns and Roses episode, then Kings of Leon did the same, and in both cases co-creator Ryan Murphy got into a public, profanity laced shouting match.

And now Dave Grohl might be next.

“It’s every band’s right, you shouldn’t have to do f—ing Glee,” Grohl told THR. “And then the guy who created Glee is so offended that we’re not, like, begging to be on his f—ing show… f— that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee.”
“And it’s just like, Dude, maybe not everyone loves Glee. Me included.”

Um, I like Dave Grohl, and I know some people at Glee and I like them too, soo… umm… hey look, it’s a gorgeous Asian girl with big tits, my beloved Julri Waters. They should make a show about her. She could be a spy, like Nikita, and she could go undercover at a cheerleader camp. A cheerleader camp with a mystery, or a crime or whatever it is Nikita does. So she wears pigtails and those tiny shorts, but instead of guns and kicks and punches, she solves problems by kissing the other cheerleaders. In the shower. I would hope a non-violent approach like that could really be a positive influence for todays young people. Specifically the hot girls.

Julri Waters is here to help

By brendon December 10, 2010 @ 9:47 AM

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This isn’t actually about Hollywood or whatever, but a sexy reader named Nikki emailed the other day in hopes that I would do a post pleading with girls of all ages to get screened regularly for breast cancer. Because she did and now it will hopefully save her life (she has a blog about her treatment here).

Sensing an opportunity to show pictures of naked girls while pretending to be helpful, I agreed.

The pictures of course are of my beloved Julri Waters. She’s a 32G, so that seemed like a good way to illustrate why breast cancer is so evil, and why everyone should give money to organizations like Komen.

How she’s not the most popular model girl anything on earth is beyond me bc she’s everything girls are supposed to be; beautiful, short, big titted and Asian. Oh and she takes all her clothes off and let’s people take pictures of it. In this case Playboy. Actually, just Playboy. For lots of money. I don’t have any money but I asked anyway and suddenly she was too good to take her clothes off. Oh, well paarrddon me your highness. I’m sooo sorry for wanting to look at your vagina. I thought she was gonna be cool, ya know, I thought she was gonna be different, but no, she’s stuck up, just like the rest of them.

(picture source = playboy cyber club, Julri on facebook = here)

Friday morning headlines

By brendon August 13, 2010 @ 12:23 PM

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RIHANNA – says there is no typo on her tat, as was reported yesterday. “Rebelle fleur translates to rebel flower, NOT rebellious flower, it’s 2 nouns so in that case fleur does not HAVE to be first!” So see. Her dumb tat works on a lot of different levels. (ok!)

JENNIFER LOPEZ – was too big a bitch for ‘American Idol’ to deal with, and now she’s tweeting pictures of her diamonds to… um, prove it, I guess.
NOTE TO SELF: go rob Jennifer Lopez. (huff post)

JULRI WATERS – is the Playboy model in the banner picture, and she’ll be in Sturgis today signing stuff (details). I know I mentioned this yesterday, but I could either post a picture of the girl who gets a perfect score in every category I use to rank girls, or Hilary Swank, who is still waiting for science to determine what sex she is. (direct link to the full size NSFW banner picture here. source = playboy)

HILARY SWANK – is in Hawaii with boyfriend John Campisi, just sort of hanging out by a sign in a bikini. If these two lovebirds have a wedding in their future, Hilary is sure to make a beautiful bride and/or groom. (pacific coast)

thursday morning headlines

By brendon August 12, 2010 @ 10:09 AM

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JULRI WATERS – is beautiful, short, Asian, has huge breasts, and parades around naked for Playboy. In other words she’s historys most perfect girl (NSFW pictures here). Easily manipulated, she asked me to mention that she and Julia Morse (direct link to their NSFW Playboy pics here and here) are in Sturgis for the bike rally, and at the Silverado casino today and tomorrow from 1-4 signing stuff. I’m gonna go at 4 when she’s tired and see if she’ll blindly sign a marriage license. (silverado, playboy)

JIMMY KIMMEL - was on his Twitter last night asking about his computer generated “Who To Follow” suggestions. Twitter is kind of a smartass, as it turns out. (twitpic)

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – is having her home searched for listening devices so no one can secretly record her conversations. “She’s worried either Mel or the media has planted cameras or wiretapping devices.” The balls on this chick. The judge should throw out the case just for this. Then have the bailiff go punch her in the stomach. (tmz)

TWITTER – Follow me today and you’ll receive 10 free internets. (twitter)

SOFIA VERGARA – says Madonna looks like a freak. While not opposed to plastic surgery, she says some women go to far. “That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they’re fooling? It doesn’t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.” Keep in mind Madonnas arms look like this. She looks like an old tree. (us)

karissa shannon is patriotic

By brendon July 02, 2010 @ 2:38 PM

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This Sunday of course is Americas birthday, when hopefully everyone will take a moment to appreciate how completely awesome we are. Not content to wait, Playmate Karissa Shannon took her unrepentant jingoism down to Malibu yesterday and showed off her hot ass (again, thankfully).

She’s no Julri Waters, but what Karissa lacks in cup size she makes up for by wrapping her tits in American pride. Hey Middle East, have fun dressing your women like Halloween ghosts and driving a donkey to your job inside some hellish pit of insane violence. No need to rethink that. You’ve clearly figured out the winning formula.

(source = pacific coast news)