Bieber Gets A Face Tattoo And Shit Around The Web

Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber got himself a face tattoo. It's a tiny cross by his eye. Doesn't that mean you're a pee queen in prison? It does now.read more

Justin Bieber Wanted

Some judge in Argentina is one of the only people this side of twelve who still wants to talk to Justin Bieber. A year ago his bodyguards roughed up a photographer outside of a club who was there to take photos of a dude from local television who dresses like a snail. Now Biebs is wanted for questioning. It has taken this long to summon him due to the Argentine legal system's strict policy of daily six hour siestas...read more

Carmen Ortega Inspires Justin Bieber to Live For the Now

Carmen Ortega has slept with a good number of athletes, so she knows a thing or two about the human condition. You don't get to ball Reggie Bush and LeBron James and not come away with some insight on the male superstar psyche. Carmen spent 90 minutes with Justin Bieber at the King of Diamonds strip club earlier this week and she got a good feel for the misunderstood midget bard: He really cares what people say. He...read more

Chantel Jeffries Likes Her Cars Like She Likes Her Men, Tiny and Quick

Chantel Jeffries is about to be famous. No, she wasn't the third or fourth woman into space. She didn't give birth to the Scientology reptile baby that will align the six galaxies. And, to date, her athlete and rapper loving vagina has not been confiscated by the NIH to model Obamacare services for immigrant street urchins. But she is the Miami party girl who Justin Bieber took on a drunken joyride in his $250,000...read more

Sheriffs Raid Bieber House for Eggs and Cameras and Little Tiny Boy Tampons

Last week, Justin Bieber threw eggs at his neighbor's house while the neighbor called him a mother fucker and a little bitch and other words that aren't necessarily polite, but pretty accurate. There's no real crime in Los Angeles since Robocop arrived, so a fulleleven Sheriff deputy cars rolled up to Bieber's house this morning with a search warrant related to the potential felony vandalism. They're not looking for...read more