By Lex January 22, 2015 @ 9:33 AM
Justin Bieber reached out from his pit of despair and Ferraris to Comedy Central to ask to be roasted on their recurring celebrity takedown specials. Most people agree to go on the roast because it’s great publicity and shows you can take lots of dick jokes about yourself. Justin Bieber wants the barbs to prove to the world he’s changed. According to every press release put out by his public relations team, he has truly changed. For one, he’s no longer short. Also, he’s cut back on the whores and picking fights and ordering his body guards to beat people down. He hasn’t challenged anybody to a jet race and then laughed when they said they had no jet in over a month. He’s maintaining a new serious face in public. And ordering Stephen Baldwin’s teen daughter to do the same when feeding her after sex. He certainly does seem different. Still, when you look over at Bieber after a solid midget joke and see him gritting his baby teeth, just know Jeffrey Ross that you probably have less than 48 hours to live.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash
By Matt January 12, 2015 @ 6:06 AM
Justin Bieber’s lawyers are threatening to sue a website comparing his teeny pre-Photoshopped dick to a real one. His Calvin Klein ad generated some attention because he looked abnormally jacked for a boy. The two photos tell conflicting stories, but I’m prone to believe the one which shows a normal and scrawny prepubescent guy and not Ellen on steroids. Well, Ellen on even more steroids. It’s certainly possible the site reverse photoshopped the Klein ad and also that 9-11 was a conspiracy between Jews and that guy who used to be Crazy Eddie who owed lots of back taxes. More than likely Bieber’s pecker doesn’t jut out at a 90 degree angle. You be the judge. Then spend more time with your children.
Photo Credit: CalvinKlein.com
By Michael January 08, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber had to have his pubes painted on with Photoshop in his Calvin Klein underwear ads. At least that’s what Calvin convinced him as he also explained to Justin that Photoshop involved Calvin using his fingers and body paint. Fuck, I just gagged.
Read all about Bieber’s pubic lies. (The Superficial)
Charisma Carpenter topless? Why, yes please! (Egotastic)
Paris Hilton paid 25k for a dog that’s a glorified rat. (TMZ)
Suki Waterhouse knows how to fill up a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)
Edita Vilkeviciutes in lingerie will make your eyes bug out like a cartoon worlf. (Popoholic)
Taylor Swift is zeroing in on tubby starlet Leonardo DiCaprio for her next failed relationship. (Dlisted)
Golf reporter Holly Sonders makes me want to tee off. (Busted Coverage)
By Lex December 31, 2014 @ 11:05 AM
Sometimes you get to hating on somebody for so long you have to stop and ask yourself, why did I ever hate this person in the first place. It’s times like these I recommend a solid year in review of asshole photos of Justin Bieber. May we never forget.
Photo Credit: WWTDD Archives
By Lex December 30, 2014 @ 9:24 AM
We’ve all had shitty jobs. I once had a job cleaning up vomit. They couched it, but that’s what it was. I’d take that again any day over following a tiny brat around and pretending he’s the shit. Justin Bieber isn’t the world’s worst skateboarder, he’s just the only one that has his entourage set up a perimeter for him outside Madison Square Garden so he can show off his tricks. The dudes on his payroll have to pretend he’s Tony Hawk reinventing the sport. Bieber performs some basic tricks before biting it because his first adult size t-shirt rolls down to his knees. Oh, man, you’re awesome! There it is! Fuck, how do you not want to step in front of every bus that passes?
By Lex December 29, 2014 @ 9:45 AM
Nothing says your work with the Lord isn’t being properly rewarded on Earth as when your eighteen year old daughter is taking the Bieber peen. Maybe Stephen Baldwin takes it as a test of faith. Like when the tax authorities come to your door with handcuffs because Jesus told you render zilch unto Caesar. If I found out that twat was taking my teen daughter on his jet to shmear at altitude I’d find murder in my heart. Little people go missing all the time.
Photo Credit: INF