Justin Bieber's Toxicology Report Is In

Bieber's toxicology report is in for his DUI bust and it is not going to help his case. The 60-inch long crooning turd was arrested last week for a DUI and drag racing in Miami beach. There were rumors that he wasn't actually impaired and that the cops just busted him... read more

Justin Bieber's Swaggy Jail Tour Continues

It's getting pretty hard to keep track of Justin Bieber's police troubles, between his DUI and drag racing arrest in Miami and the Police Squad episode that features the LAPD building a case against Bieber for egging his house, but we can now add assault charges in... read more

Obama To Address Justin Bieber Deportation

I can't remember all the shit Obama promised as President. Just last night he promised a ton more shit. I believe I'm supposed to get laid more often and look a hint less like a beagle. I know Obama promised more openness and access for the Average Joe who can't pay... read more

Justin Bieber Wants To Open A Tattoo Parlor

After his recent run in with the Miami police, Justin Bieber is talking about quitting music and opening a tattoo parlor with his tank-topped young father, Jeremy. The little lesbian ferret has become more famous for his controversies over the past year than for his... read more

Justin Bieber Takes Control of His Bitches

Building off the dressing down he gave Tubbs and Crockett for pulling the plug on his street racing, Bieber came down with full 65-lb bench press force on his entourage and the bitch he's currently let service his gift. What Bieber's inner circle thought would be an... read more

Justin Bieber Flees to Panama

Not since Manuel Noriega used to throw chickens out in the pueblocitos has anybody received such uproarious Panamanian welcome as Justin Bieber. Like so many small angry criminals before him, Bieber grabbed his lawless skeez Chantel and fled from Miami to Panama in the... read more

Bieber's Leeches Want Him To Seek Therapy

Now that Justin Bieber is out of jail after having ratted on his mom for being his Xanax supplier, he's free to go back to doing whatever shithead things he wants to do until the Los Angeles Police Department gathers enough chicken fetus DNA to convict him of felony... read more

Justin Bieber Rats Out His Mom, Released from Fake Jail

Justin Bieber left the Miami Courthouse one repentant androgynous boy. Don't let the leather pants and the climbing on top of his SUV and the waving to the public fool you, Justin is quite contrite. In fact, before he left the long arm of the law, he narced on his mom... read more

Judge Sentences Justin Bieber to Death!

Justin Bieber faced the judge in Miami this morning after his DUI and expired license and street racing arrest and the judge gave him... $2500 bond. It was beyond exciting. CNN landed a helicopter on the courthouse rooftop with thirty-seven television reporters to cover... read more

Justin Bieber Arrested

Lesbian Hobbit Justin Bieber was arrested for a DUI and drag racing in Miami Beach earlier this morning. It seems that the tiny tyke was racing his yellowLamborghini on a residential street with his C-list rap buddies when the cops came by and inquired as to the drunk... read more

Cops Need Warrant To Search Bieber's Phone

Police investigating lipstick lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber's involvement in a fiendish egging incident may have to get another search warrant to check his phone. We told you about Justin's house getting raided by police looking for clues about his neighbor's house... read more

Justin Bieber's Relationship With Lil Za Explained In One Instagram Picture

Now that he's retired or on a break or hiding from the Los Angeles Police Department or whatever bullshit he and his people want us to believe, Justin Bieber has been traveling across North America with his crew of hanger-ons and coattail riders with the sole mission of... read more