By Jack October 21, 2013 @ 4:39 PM
An incredibly disturbed man has gotten over $100,000 worth of plastic surgeries over the last five years so he can look more like Justin Bieber. Toby Sheldon is an aspiring singer and songwriter who apparently thinks that Justin Bieber is the greatest fucking musician in history. They had to chisel down Toby’s cheeks and chin to make them more weasel-like. He goes in for botox shots and has had successful hair transplants because this guy is 33 fucking years old. That’s way too old to be doing shit this stupid. If you aren’t an underdeveloped teen girl or her fat horny mom who remembers herself as hot in high school, there’s no reason to like Justin Bieber. The irony is that he doesn’t even look like Biebs. He looks more like this pug/chihuahua mix with developmental problems my aunt owns.
(Picture via Huffington Post)
By Lex October 21, 2013 @ 3:16 PM
If I’m that chick in China who Bieber brought up on stage to cream her pants in front of one billion of her countrymen I’d be kind of pissed to see him pulling the exact same crap in Puerto Rico. His slender, female like appendages gingerly caressing another random chick with the same tenderness with which he fondles his own vagina in his travel tub after shows. It turns out, it might just all be an act. But don’t try to tell this girl that a couple hours after covering her in flowers, Bieber will be high with his posse spitting on her from his balcony. She won’t care. She wants the spit too. It will make her flower crown grow.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Jack October 18, 2013 @ 4:03 PM
Justin Bieber’s weed dealer paid the little lesbian the ultimate tribute by getting his weasel face tattooed on his arm. Milk Tyson, (that’s right, Milk), claims to be the weed dealer to the stars. Considering there’s a weed dispensary on every single corner in L.A. that with a fake doctor’s note will let you purchase a Cheech & Chong van full of gangja seven days a week, you’d think this was a personal service business on the decline. Justin shares Milk’s bicep with fellow D-bags Quincy Brown, Alfredo Flores, and Milk himself. Justin posed for an Instagram pic with Tyson this morning before removing the incriminating photo. I guess his publicist told the little dickbitch that it didn’t exactly look good for him to pose for pictures with a known drug dealer. The rumors of Justin being a huge pothead have been swirling around since Bieber made his first million. I guess you could consider it confirmed. You’ve got to be a serious fucking smoker for your weed dealer to permanently tattoo your face on his body.
(Photo Via TMZ.com)
By Jack October 14, 2013 @ 2:12 PM
It seems that Justin Bieber got into a bit of a tussle when a DJ refused to play hip hop at a club. The incident happened in South Korea when a shirtless Bieber, his hairless girlish chest gleaming with sweat, asked big time DJ Michael Woods to play some hip hop. Woods reportedly told The Biebs to “Fuck off and put some clothes on”. That’s when Biebs had a hissy fit and “fought” Woods’ manager, to which I infer Woods’ manager is a smallish type disabled person or maybe a young child who can’t afford legal representation. You won’t find Bieber going after the strongest in the herd. Bieber wants his hip hop, he’s getting his damn hip hop, even if he has to throw a sucker punch and then have his bodyguard whisk him away to prove his dominance.
By Jack October 07, 2013 @ 3:59 PM
Professional asshole Chris Brown came to the defense of his BFF Justin Bieber by saying that the reason people hate Justin is because of racism. They are hating on Bieber for hanging out with cool black people…like Chris Brown. According to Brown, Bieber-scorn has nothing to do with the Canadian midget being late to concerts, treating fans like shit, spitting on people, or being carried up the Great Wall of China:
“Justin’s not a bad kid, I’ve been around him. But if he hangs with too many black people, ‘oh he’s hanging with the n—-s, so we’re going to let you go’. That’s strictly what it is. It’s unconscious racism. C’mon, y’all know this s— is bulls—. So like at the end of the day, people f— with people and Justin does great music. He’s still pop, but he hangs with the black people. I can identify with what he’s going through. People don’t understand certain people, so if they don’t understand you, they automatically hate you. They cancel you out. I’m speaking out now because I really don’t care anymore.”
To be fair to Chris Brown, he’s so fucking high he has no idea what he’s saying. Though he’s also so fucking stupid when he’s sober he might just believe the same. Chris Brown is the official friend to the friendless. He knows what it’s like to be kept down, like when the cops come and hassle you for beating on your woman. Or Drake’s posse tries to throw a bottle at somebody in your posse. Or when he’s asked to simple addition and the whole class laughs at his clumsy answer. He and Bieber are like two peas in a pod that you can only wish a green giant would squish until the screams stopped.
By Lex October 07, 2013 @ 1:38 PM
There’s really no escaping the masculine powerhouse that is Justin Bieber. His oozing testosterone was enough to bring one lucky Chinese girl to tears when Justin brought her up on stage during a Shanghai concert and began stroking her with his little baby hand. Later, Justin ripped off his clothes and ten thousand Chinese girls spontaneously feinted from a combination of budding sexual exasperation and the shocking site of the tiny pale unisex demon that Chinese campfire stories have been passing on from generation to generation. After the concert, the government ordered everyone back to their homes for zither music and Nike knockoff wear stitching.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet