Kacey Jordan tried to kill herself

By brendon March 15, 2011 @ 3:00 PM

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Kacey Jordan of course is the porn star who was with Charlie Sheen the night he was rushed to the hospital a few weeks ago, and who then did countless interviews detailing every minute of it. But she hasn’t been able to forget about her time with Charlie. Those 16 hours really messed her up.

“those 16 hours i was with charlie sheen… messed me up… i can’t get that image out of my head…”

See, I told you they did. She put that on her twitter last night during what might have been a suicide attempt.

“i just snorted a fat line and i get a wake up call for my pedicure spa appointment in 15 min…. this is going to be a great conversation!”

“i took a bunch of pills…drank a hotel size bottle of jack… stumbled to the bathroom to weigh myself………86 lbs”

“I’m Soooo bored in this hospital bed! I wanna have someone save me… And kpuff doesn’t have underwear?!!”

The hotel intervened and the police were called, and she appears to be okay for now, in the sense that she’s not physically dead. I’m sure she’s still a complete mess in every other possible way. It maybe didn’t help when the doctor gave her her meds by telling her to get on her knees and open her mouth.

afternoon headlines

By brendon February 21, 2011 @ 6:31 PM

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KACEY JORDAN – is the porn star who won’t stop talking about her time with Charlie Sheen, and now she even says she had an abortion last Thursday that could have been his. Or it could have been from a different celebrity the week before. She doesn’t really sweat the details, as it turns out. (radar)

CAMILLE GRAMMER – is only famous for marrying and then divorcing Kelsey Grammer, but now she’s been hired by CNN to report on the Oscars this Sunday. Some would argue she isn’t qualified, but she has seen several previous Oscar telecasts, and hopes that maybe one day, they’ll even let her cover the Academy Awards. (huff post)

JENNIFER TILLY – was one of the players at the World Poker Tour Celebrity Invitational this weekend. She’s 52, by the way, making her the new oldest girl I’d bang. Before this it was Selena Gomez. (pacific coast)

afternoon headlines

By brendon January 31, 2011 @ 7:01 PM

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CHARLIE SHEEN – will be doing rehab, ahem, from his house. Because he doesn’t want any embarrassing details coming out about his private life. Remember this as you read the very next sentence. (tmz)

KACEY JORDAN – has yet another new interview talking about sex with Charlie Sheen, aaanndd it would almost be over by now according to her. “It was OK. It didn’t last very long (probably) because he was so fucked up. When you’re that high…his performance wasn’t very long. It was a 3-minute ordeal. After sex we just sat in bed and he held on to me. He was sloppy but functioning, [he] wouldn’t stop kissing my feet. He promised me he’d get me a Bentley.” Jesus, that honestly couldn’t have been any worse unless she said he was crying and lactating. (e!)

CHERYL BURKE – of Dancing with the Stars is in the Dominican Republic, and PCN says, “The 26-year-old dance star flaunted her fabulous figure.” As you can tell they were obviously being sarcastic. (pacific coast)

“It’s officially 24 hours of drinking! hehe.”

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 6:54 PM

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I personally think Charlie Sheen is an asshole, but maybe he’s actually really cool. Maybe it’s cool that he shot Kelly Preston in the arm back when they were engaged. And that his girlfriend Chloe Jones died suspiciously (source). And that two of his wives claim he threatened to kill them, one even saying he held a knife to her throat (source, source). And maybe there’s no connection between those things and him dressing a $6,000 sex doll up as a cheerleader, chopping off its hands with a meat clever, wrapping it in a blanket and throwing it in a dumpster (source), and maybe the porn star who claims he locked her in a closet in the Plaza Hotel in New York was lying (source).

Maybe he’s just a guy who likes to “party”, and maybe he should be admired for the “cool” life he leads. Like, before going to the hospital this morning, when he was partying with porn star Kacey Jordan, who took the picture in the headline at Sheens house and then posted it on twitter last night (unedited full size copy here).

So maybe I’m wrong. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and now he breaks the law with impunity and assaults women. And when you put it like that, really what’s not to love.