There may never be any way to know for sure why Kanye West stormed the stage last night and interrupted Taylor Swift as she accepted Best Female Video at the MTV VMA’s. Oh wait never mind. It turns out there is a way, and that way would be to look at the pictures of him before the show as he got drunk as hell. We did it! We cracked the case!
(hq jump here. source = getty images)
I don’t know what phrase means the exact opposite of “Breaking News”, but if you know it, write it down on a post-it note and stick it on your computer screen in front of the headline, because the (insert phrase here) from last nights MTV VMA’s was that Kanye West is an asshole who must be the center of attention at all times or he’ll throw a hissy fit.
The first winner of the night, Taylor Swift for best female video, was rudely and quickly interrupted by Kanye West, who cut off her acceptance speech. He stole the microphone to announce that fellow nominee Beyoncé had “one of the greatest videos of all time,” in “Single Ladies.”
“I was standing on stage and I was really excited because I’d just won the award and then I was really excited because Kanye West was on stage,” Swift recalled after the show. “And then I wasn’t excited anymore after that.”
It’s too bad Taylor is so nice. Because if Kanye was surprised that Beyonce didn’t win the award, imagine how shocked he would be to have that same award broken off in his ass.
Considering how rich he is I always thought Kanye could do better than Amber Rose. She’s not that good looking and her haircut makes her look like she’s from the future, and she has that big ass which I find disgusting but I guess black guys love. The point to all this is that she looked surprisingly good yesterday on the beach in Miami. And by that I mean, “tits”.
(all the topless pics over here. or jumpa jumpa here. hq jump here. source = mavrix online)
A couple of hours ago, people started passing around this quote by Kanye West, who seemed to be crowning himself “the King of Pop” now that Michael Jackson has died (by the way, day 34 since he died. Still no funeral in sight. Awesome).
“You know everyone loves and respects Michael but times change. It’s so sad to see Michael gone but it makes a path for a new King of Pop and I’m willing to take that on. There’s nobody who can match me in sales and in respect so it only makes sense for me to take over Michael’s crown and become the new King,” said West. “First there was Elvis, then there was Michael, now in the 21st century its Kanye’s time to rule. I have nothing but respect for Michael but someone needs to pick up where he left off and there’s nobody better than me to do that. I am the new King of Pop.”
Idolator is quick to point out that the source seems to be some Onion rip-off that no has ever heard of. Many didn’t realize it was a joke because the sites idea of parody is to factually describe a likely situation. Along with 100 percent of the people who are Kanye West, this site had the upper hand because they knew what they were saying, although reasonable, wasn’t true. The jokes on us, my friends, but hold your head high. You’ve been had by the best.
CELINE DION – is in talks to buy the NHL’s Montreal Canadians. And maybe after that Bette Middler can buy the UFC, and we’ll just fag up all the good sports one by one. (source = reuters)
KANYE WEST – "South Park" ripped him apart last night, and on his blog he wrote that it hurt his feelings, and "I JUST WANT TO BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM." Actually a better way to start would be to turn off the GD caps lock key. (source = the ap)
JENNIFER LOPEZ – she has so many wigs she has a room just for them. "Jennifer keeps the door locked and hardly ever lets anyone in the room, not even Marc. The shelves on the walls are full of plastic heads holding the best hairpieces money can buy." Talk about crazy. A Puerto Rican woman in a wig?! Now I’ve heard everything. (source = star and wenn)
Polonious said “brevity is the soul of wit” in Hamlet, and I don’t know what the fuck that means because quite frankly I can barely even read, but I think it might be relevant to twitter. Because on there you’re forced to make every update no more than one or two sentences. Lots of big stars use twitter all the time to keep in touch with fans, or another way to say that is that they don’t use twitter at all and someone else writes the entries for them. The New York Times says…
In its short history, Twitter — a microblogging tool that uses 140 characters in bursts of text — has become an important marketing tool for celebrities, promising a level of intimacy never before approached online.
But someone has to do all that writing, even if each entry is barely a sentence long. In many cases, celebrities and their handlers have turned to outside writers who keep fans updated on the latest twists and turns, often in the star’s own voice.
Britney, 50 Cent and Kanye are the three big names they list as using a ghost writer, which is surprising because I go to lots of haunted house movies and black people are terrified of ghosts. Not me though. I'm brave. Except when I see Kirsten Dunst. When this picture came out my friends found me the next day trembling under the table like an orphaned baby deer.
