It has been about six years since Kim Kardashian accepted $5 million from Vivid Entertainment for the release of her amateur porn that she recorded with then-unknown hip hop artist Ray J in 2003. So while Kim and now-unknown hip hop artist Ray J presumably haven’t slept together in a decade, the latter has released a new video for his single, “I Hit it First”, which is obviously directed at Kim’s current boyfriend and eventual third ex-husband Kanye West.
Ray J even hired a Kim lookalike for the new video, which would be cool if he’d produced it in 2004 and all of the lyrics were about football players. But this is just sad now. Even a guy waking up from a coma after 10 years is probably like, “Get over it, loser.”
Rapper Ray J is famous because he made a really boring sex tape with Kim Kardashian before anybody knew who she was, but while Kim went on to create a reality TV empire, Ray J is still just that dude who had sex with Kim Kardashian. Apparently that’s changing, though, because Ray J will soon star as the host of Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club All-Star Battle, and I wouldn’t have known that unless he Tweeted the above image for his new single “I Hit it First”.
The pixelated image is a callback to this picture of Kim, and the title is obviously a shot at her boyfriend and baby daddy, Kanye West. Some people have called this a bold marketing move by Ray J, but it’s been 6 years since he had sex with Kim and she’s been dating Kanye for as long as she’s been waiting to finalize her divorce from Kris Humphries. So call it what it is – some dude with a new TV show saying, “Hey everyone, look at me!”
In the good old days of rap, Ray J’s body would have been found in a dumpster 2 minutes after that picture hit the web, but knowing Kanye, he’ll probably respond by making his own sex tape with Kim during a concert for Obama at Madison Square Garden. Hell, I’d watch.
Guess what Kanye West and Kim Bigasses’ baby name is rumored to be. Go on, guess. Did you guess a normal unobnoxious name? Then you are wrong. They are reportedly calling their celeb larvae North. North West. Like, the direction. Would someone please slip that bitch some pitocin in her drink so we can get this gestation over with already. It’s going to be even worse once Kim shits out this flesh turd and calls it North. Can you imagine what kind of monster the coupling of these two massive egos will produce? Add to that a stupid fucking name and you have the recipe for an asshole the likes of which the world has never seen.
Where is it written that celebrities can’t just give their kids normal names? Just this past month Holly Madison named her kid Rainbow. Then there is Jason Lee’s son Pilot Inspektor or walking douchenozzle Pete Wentz’s kid Bronx Mowgli. What’s in a name? Probably, a future of drug abuse, entitlement, and abusing household servants.
Kris Jenner is a soul sucking creature from the depths of hell, who also happens to be responsible for the Kardashian Empire. An empire completely based off the fact that one of her daughters got railed by the D list brother of a C list pop singer. So it’s not entirely shocking that she wants to destroy Kanye West entire career by becoming his manager.
Kris has wanted to manage someone of Kanye’s stature and talent for a very long time. She feels that it could open even bigger doors for her career, and she is always looking to expand her client base. Kris has told Kanye that she would love to be his manager — even though he has a team in place.”
She said she would be willing to start out representing him in new endorsements and his personal life as it pertains to the reality shows…..Kris reps Khloe’s hubby, Lamar Odom in non-basketball matters. Kanye politely declined though as he is extremely happy with his current manager, agent, etc. Kris took it well, but she will definitely approach Kanye again if she sees an opening.
You’d think a client list filled with Kim, Kourtney, and the duel power forwards Khloe and Lamar would be enough to entice anyone, let alone an A list rapper worth hundreds of millions with a much more successful team in place. So even though Kanye is an arrogant attention whoring asshole who would fit perfectly into the Kardashian clan, I still respect the hell out of him for turning Jenner away. It says he did it politely but in my mind he beat her like Carlos Mencia in the gay fish episode of South Park.
It’s only fitting that on the anniversary of Johnny Cash’s birth, we’d be reminded that the state of music in America is equal to the toilets of a truck stop Taco Bell. Leading this current bowel movement to turn this country’s children into quasi-retarded, spoiled fame whores is rapper and father-to-be Kanye West, who unleashed a verbal tsunami of sociopath rage on Saturday night at his concert in London.
Apparently West is pissed off at the Grammy’s again, probably because they wouldn’t pay for his rib removal surgery so he could blow himself on stage to open the show, but the outdated and meaningless awards ceremony was only part of a rant that included gems like…