why even pretend, Kanye?

By brendon May 14, 2012 @ 9:44 AM

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Some girls might be upset if there were pictures of their date pretending to listen to their dumb conversation but actually staring at their tits, but luckily for Kanye he dates Kim Kardashian, and any Hollywood starlet whose IMDb page includes a movie where she sucked off Ray-J five times is gonna be pretty tough to offend.

(image source of kanye and kim at staples saturday night to watch the lakers close out the nuggets in the first round of the nba playoffs = splash)

Kanye raps about marrying Kim Kardashian

By brendon May 10, 2012 @ 3:29 PM

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It’s easy, and fun, to make fun of Kanye West, but considering he got A’s in high school and his mom was the Chair of the English Department at Chicago State University, no one could actually consider him stupid.

Unless he really is thinking about marrying Kim Kardashian like Us magazine claims, in which case people could and should.

On an upcoming track by hip-hop artist Pusha T, West, 34, raps, “I saw you in the club in a white dress/Now I want to put you in a white dress.”
(Says) a second source: “Kim and Kanye are 100 percent having conversations about marriage … (he pursued her) for a long time.”

This already makes no sense, but that Kanye seems ready to rush into it is nothing short of insanity. I know he’s religious but God knocked up Mary and didn’t even take her on a date, so He’s hardly in a position to lecture us.

Kanye and Kim Kardashian are “talking marriage”

By brendon May 02, 2012 @ 5:09 PM

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According to a source (it’s Kim Kardashian), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are so amazing together they’re already talking about getting married. So forget all that negative stuff you’ve heard about Kim for the last 6 months because that’s all in the past and we should ignore that other marriage because that’s old news and the new news is that Kim is totally marriage material and successful, popular people with lots of money want to be her husband. So if you could believe all that from now on, that would be great.

Just one month after going public with their romance, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are “very serious,” a source tells the new Us.com“>Us Weekly — as in, ready to pick out rings.
Although the reality star, 31, has yet to finalize her divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries, she and the rapper, 34, “are talking marriage,” says the source.

Wow. Kim Kardashian must not think very much of us if we’re expected to believe this asinine story. There might as well have been a part about how Kris Humphries can’t get an erection.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye might be dating. Again.

By brendon April 05, 2012 @ 5:58 PM

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Back in December of 2010, there was a rumor that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had been secretly dating and that he had even gotten her pregnant, though it was said that Kim wanted a relationship but Kanye didn’t. Nothing ever came of it (perhaps because December 2010 is also when Kim met Kris Humphries for the first time and they were engaged 5 months later), but Kanye released a song yesterday called “Theraflu” and the lyrics definitely give you the impression that he was at least fucking her. On account of her being a slut and everything.

“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim.
Around the time she had fell in love with him.
Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing.
Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team. (*)”

And just to make sure they got all the attention they so desperately crave, Kim and Kanye went to a movie last night and to FAO Schwarz today. And I can’t help but notice that the paparazzi agencies all have pictures of them inside the toy store, even though It’s illegal for paparazzi to go on private property. Which means they had a personal photographer and then sold the pictures themselves.

These two really are made for each other. Not only is he black and rich but he has a dumb name that starts with K too. She’s everything she could ever hope for.

(*) “Jay” of course is Jay-Z, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, the team Humphries pays for. image source = pacific coast

Kanye thinks he’s making a ‘Jetsons’ movie

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 4:12 PM

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Kanye West announced on Wednesday that he’s in discussions to become the creative director of a movie based on ‘the Jetsons’. Now, granted, there’s no such thing as “creative director of a movie”, and there is no movie being made about ‘the Jetsons’, but he has told Warner Brothers that he’s ready to take charge as soon as those things exist.

The producer who owns the film rights told Vulture

“The last two years I had various forms of communication from the studio that (Kanye) had this real love and interest in The Jetsons as an artist. My response was always, ‘Well, that’s great. We’ll let him know when we have a screenplay.’ I was thinking he was interested in it on a musical level, but apparently he’s deeply interested in art and architecture and wanted to be involved.”

If Kanyes idea of art and architecture is a cartoon about the future from 1962, it’s safe to assume he’s an idiot. His idea of archeology must be ‘the Flintstones’. Seeing a cavewoman use a baby mammoth for a vacuum cleaner must have blown his fucking mind.

Michael Jordan + Adolf Hitler = Kanye West

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 4:09 PM

Apparently my grandmother isn’t the only one who mentions basketball players right after reminding everyone of the days when one particular race was rounded up and sent to labor camps. Because Kanye West performed in London this weekend, and his mind works the same way.

TMZ says…

West was performing at the Big Chill music festival Saturday night … when he went on one of his signature rants … this time focusing on the hardships of being so painfully misunderstood

“I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m f**king insane, like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.”

Moments later, Kanye suggested that he needed to be the MJ of music, “Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It’s so much f**king going on in music right now and somebody has to make a f**king difference.”

I don’t mean to be pedantic but Hitler also used his power to make a difference. So in that sense Jordan and Hitler are very much alike. Also, Jordan moved a lot of shoes, while Hitler moved a lot of Jews. They’re like two sides of the same coin.