By Lex November 26, 2013 @ 5:28 PM
Yeezus doesn’t like being mocked. Or talked to or even looked at or acknowledged in any manner save for applause and prayers, naturally. So when Kim Kardashian tweeted that Kanye thought Seth Rogen and James Franco’s parody of Kanye’s Bound 2 music video was rip-roaring hilarious, the truth meter committed seppuku:
“Kanye says what’s up!.He loves u guys! He laughed so hard at this.” — Kim Kardashian Tweet to Seth Rogen
Earlier Kim had Tweeted: “You nailed it!!! Sooo funny!” As a little reminder on decoding celebrity Tweets. one exclamation point means regular old lying. Multiples means P.R. agent lying. Or, you can just take a moment and imagine Kanye laughing at himself. I know, I can’t either. He’s scared of Kim, but he probably beat a few of his more submissive apostles into mid-range comas.
Photo Credit: WENN
By Travis November 26, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Because he thinks that he’s the most important person in the world at all times, Kanye West is calling for his fans to boycott Louis Vuitton after the company’s vice president allegedly refused a meeting with him. The rapper told 92.3 NOW Radio that while he was in Paris, he wanted to have a pow wow with Louis Vuitton, probably to push his leather sweatpants, and he claims that Yves Carcelle asked why they even needed to meet. “I said, ‘Let me explain to you why you need to meet with me,’” Kanye replied in his imaginary conversation with his own bad ass self, according to the Daily Mail, and without explaining anything further, he added, “Everybody in New York City right now don’t buy any Louis Vuitton until after January.”
That’ll show the big, bad fashion company, Kanye. Just wait until they feel the sting of five people not buying overpriced purses for two months. I bet Yves might even kill himself.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 2:13 PM
Somebody from the PR team told Kim and Kanye that before this bastard baby gets old enough to drop out of middle school, they need to get some photos taken pretending to be normal parents. As in, get on your $150 t-shirts and walk that baby around in a hermetically sealed bassinet. The move itself shocked the encircling team of nannies, handlers, and bodyguards who nervously shuffled around like Secret Service agents when the President decided to get out of his limo to go shake hands with the common folk. The entire parenting episode lasted about two minutes, or 10,000 pictures, at which point Kim and Kanye both shuddered and said ‘eww’ and deposited the baby back into the vault that can only be unlocked by cash offers of greater than $250,000.
Photo Credit: INFphoto, PCN, FameFlynet
By Lex November 20, 2013 @ 10:59 AM
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash
By Lex November 19, 2013 @ 2:20 PM
Someday, when Kanye West leafs through the trampled heap of megalomania and poor decision making that ultimately shaped his life, he’ll remember that time he got Kim Kardashian naked and riding on his lap atop a motorcycle in one of his shitty music videos. He’ll smile knowing that for one shining moment, he was on top of his game. He was the crowned king Yeezus. Then the sadistic asylum guards will toss a backless surgical gown into Kanye’s room signaling that the daily humblings are about to begin.
By Travis November 18, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Now that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have done so well in ruining the future of America by teaching kids that all they need to do to get famous is ride coattails or make shitty, lazy sex tapes, the rapper has taken his game to the Ivy League. Kanye spoke at Harvard yesterday as part of his DONDA Design Lecture Series, and if his lectures are anything like any of the other times that he speaks, I imagine the students and people in attendance left the room far more confused than they were an hour before. Naturally, Kim boasted about the event on Instagram, because I assume she thinks that just by speaking at Harvard, Kanye received a degree, and knowing how little a college degree is worth these days, she’s probably right.
Photo Credit: Virgil Abloh’s Instagram