Kanye Buys An Armored SUV So Nobody Can Touch Him

With the way the Kardashians are laying waste to the former shells of Lamar Odom and Kris Humphreys and Reggie Bush and Ray J before even him, I don't blame Kanye for digging deep into his pockets for a couple million for a couple of armor plated SUVs straight from Latvia. When you want a superior sports car, you go to Germany. A fine tuned low maintenance machine, Japan. But when you need to be insulated from RPG...

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Kris Jenner Whores Out Granddaughter In Effort Save Her Show

Let's see. What great celebrity guests has Kris Jenner booked on her daytime talk show this week. Khloe Kardashian, Scott Disick, Kyle Jenner, Kendall Jenner, and, today, going outside the bloodline for Kanye West, who brought along the big reveal, a picture of his bastard baby with Kim Kardashian, North West. The first photo reveal of the baby, being used to try and save Kris Jenner's show. Kris has been criticized...

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Kanye West Will Appear On The Kris Jenner Show

One of the only redeeming qualities that Kanye West has had is the fact that he seems like he despises Kris Jenner, which is hilarious because she tries so hard to make everyone believe that her life and family are perfect, and she totally doesn't look at her daughters and grandkids and see them as piles of cash. But fuck that remaining shred of Kanye's humanity, because he recorded an interview for The Kris Jenner...

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Kanye West Booed At Dodger Stadium

Kanye "Yeezus Chrizzle" West was booed at a Dodgers' game on Wednesday. Our lord and savior was at the stadium watching the Dodgers take on the New York Mets. When the Jumbotron cameras focused in on him during an inning break, the crowd exploded into boos and screams of hate. Later, the same camera focused on pop singer Robin Thicke and that same crowd went crazy. It looks like the inevitable has happened and even...

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Sharon Osbourne Shit All Over Kanye And Bieber

Co-host of The Talk, judge for the U.K.'s X Factor and all-around honest, old bitch Sharon Osbourne recently did an interview with The Daily Beast, and in between ripping Anthony Weiner and praising Mariah Carey, Ozzy's wife took a few moments to spit hot fire at Kanye West and Justin Bieber for basically being massive douchebags. Of Kanye, she said, "… he's an average-looking man with an average talent, but he's a...

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Kim And Kanye Don't Want People To Think They Are In The KKK

We've all had fun laughing at Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for naming their bastard daughter North West. But it's not like the Kardashian family is new to naming their kids something stupid. Every member of that brood has a name that begins with the letter K. So, why didn't they name this future reality show exploited child with a K name? Because Kim was afraid of people mistaking their brood for the KKK. As in, the...

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Kanye West Will Not Be Prosecuted For Headlocking Photographer

Kanye West will not be charged by the D.A. for going Big John Studd on a a paparazzi outside LAX last week. Everybody got together and agreed that they hate annoying paparazzi even more than they hate Kanye. Also, Kanye did warn everybody to never talk near him or anybody he knows. All that's left to do is for Kanye to write a fat check then keep on being the best baby daddy he can be. Photo Credit: FameFlynet...

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Kanye West's Fucking Crazy Post 2009 VMA Rant Released

An audio recording has surfaced that supposedly has Kanye West ranting after the 2009 VMA awards. It may not be him...but it sure sounds like the kind of crazy shit he would say. You'll recall that that was the fateful night when he ran up on stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and said that Beyoncé's video for Single Ladies deserved to win. That's also the moment when America, nay the world, first began to...

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Kris Jenner Thinks Kanye West Is Allowed To Be Violent (VIDEO)

Talk show host and Satan's booking agent Kris Jenner stopped by The Talk yesterday, because there's nothing more exciting for the people who watch daytime talk shows than talk show hosts interviewing other talk show hosts. It's the ultimate full circle for women who'd bleach their assholes on live TV if it meant getting a ratings spike. Anyway, one of The Talk's soulless harpies asked Kris about Kanye West's recent...

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Kanye Will Fuck You Up for Talking To Him Or Anyone He Knows (VIDEO)

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. Don't fucking talk to Kanye West. Don't talk to anyone he knows. Just shut the fuck up or he will fuck you up. That's the basic message. Also, he's feeling fat and nobody loves him. How's fatherhood treating you, Kanye?

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Kris Jenner Thinks North West Isn't Going To Be Teased

Kris Jenner, the crusty vaginal font of all things Kardashian, said that she doesn't think her new granddaughter will be picked on at school for her name. Kris was on Watch What Happens Live on Wednesday and gay Muppet host Andy Cohen asked her if she thought that lil' North was going to be mocked by kids in school because, you know, her name is fucking stupid, her mom is a porn star, and her dad, by this point, has...

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Kim and Kanye Can't Turn Away Baby Money Fast Enough

Bearing her rapper boyfriend's bastard baby has changed Kim Kardashian. So we are told. So much so that when some Australian magazine offered her $3 million for first photos of her stupidly named daughter, Kim said nay. She and Kanye do not want their offspring living a life in front of the camera. By that she means, try $5 million. My guess is People magazine. But, before you call Kim a singularly-focused...

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Kris Jenner Tried To Explain North West (VIDEO)

Soon-to-be talk show host and woman who would burn an entire orphanage to the ground for attention, Kris Jenner, was on The View yesterday to discuss, among other crap, how her cash cow daughter, Kim Kardashian, just named her newborn baby North West. Kris claimed that Kim and Kanye West picked that name because north means "highest power" and this is the "highest point" of their relationship. At the very least, this...

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The North Name Gets Even Lamer

By now we all know that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their womb ferret North West. But why? Why, of all the names in the whole world did they pick a fucking direction as a name? Was it simply to make a stupid pun? According to sources close to the obnoxious couple, it's a metaphor...a stupid, lame, nonsensical metaphor. They claim that it is inspirational rather than directional. The sources say, "They chose...

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Kanye And Kim Named Baby North West

North West. That's what Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have named their bastard daughter. There had been rumors since March that they would name the baby North, but Kim denied it. You know, because it's fucking stupid. But I guess she gave in to the pressure exerted by Kanye West's ego to make a geographical direction about him. I bet he thought he was real fucking clever when he came up with it too. "Yo, Kim. You know...

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