Kanye West went on his twitter last night to spread the world about how gold diggin bitches be getting pregnant on purpose, and how an abortion can cost up to 100gs. I guess he means paying the girl to get an abortion, because actual abortions don’t cost anywhere near that. And they would be damn near free if the girl demanded $100,000, because you should just punch her in the stomach. What’s a mop cost, like 5 dollars.
Tuesday morning headlines
By brendon January 04, 2011 @ 12:26 PM
GWYNETH PALTROW – suffered from postpartum depression after giving birth to her son Moses in 2006. “I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person.” And fat, Gwyneth, let’s not forget about fat. (people)
SANDRA BULLOCK AND RYAN REYNOLDS – spent New Years Eve together in Austin. And then he gave it to her in the ass. Maybe. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t read the whole thing. (people)
BEN AFFLECK – is being mentioned as a possible Oscar nominee for directing the Town, which is surprising because that movie wasn’t very good. (variety)
KANYE WEST – wore this ridiculous, and real, fur coat in NYC yesterday, and it’s kind of weird that rappers and old white women have such similar taste. They both like furs and track suits and gaudy gold jewelry. Represent, yo.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant, and Kanye West is the father
By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 5:42 PM
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have never officially dated, but they have been friends for a long time, and that’s why Kanye filmed some scenes for her TV show in October (pics above and below). And so how did Kim show her gratitude? Umm, well.
Media Take Out says…
(We) spoke with a person VERY CLOSE to Kim Kardashian this morning. And according to them, Kim is PREGNANT!!
“Kim has been seeing Kanye off and on for years now. But this summer, they [hooked up] five or six times. Kanye told her that he didn’t want anything serious, but Kim really likes him.”
And now, according to the insider, she suspects that Kim Kardashian is PREGNANT.
“Kim is being very secretive about everything. She calls him almost non-stop and wants to know what she should do.”
So this is all just rumor but one thing for sure is that she’s in love with him. Look at that body language. She’s touching her hair, her legs are apart, she’s leaning forward and, most telling of all, she’s laughing at his jokes. We both know that mother fuckers not funny, so if Kim is laughing it’s because she wants him to hit that. I’ve actually been inside girls who don’t send out this many positive signs.
so does Kanye West have diamond teef or not?
By brendon October 21, 2010 @ 5:07 PM
On Tuesday, Kanye West told Ellen DeGeneres that the new gold and diamonds in his mouth weren’t simply laid on top of his real teeth, but they were his real teeth, because he had the old ones taken out and replaced with lavish jewels. Does he look like an idiot? Of course he does, but I included the video just in case you had any lingering doubts.
Now here’s the big question: did he really replace his teeth with diamonds? EW has called shenanigans, and spoke to a famous cosmetic dentist to see if their declaration of shenanigans is just.
“It’s a possibility, but I really doubt that the gold was extended into his actual socket within the gum and bone to replace the actual teeth themselves,” says the dentist. “There’s no way you can just place the gold into the gum or the bone without any connection to your natural teeth.”
(It’s) much more likely that West had his teeth trimmed down and used them as support for a gold and diamond encrusted bridge.
It’s also possible that West had his front teeth surgically removed, replaced them with titanium implants, and then had the flashy structure built on top. The latter procedure would require a months-long waiting period for the titanium implants to set.
Sounds like Kanye got lucky. I thought I was getting diamond teef as a kid too, because my dentist said he had something special for my mouth. He said they were jewels, “the ol’ family jewels” he called them, but when I woke up a few hours later, nothing. What the fuck dude!
Taylor Swift was scared of Kanye at the VMAs
By brendon September 13, 2010 @ 4:57 PM
When someone has a conversation interrupted by stranger who later apologizes several times, the survivor typically goes on to lead a normal life. But others are so haunted by the event, they must confront their attacker musically. And so last night at the 2010 VMA’s, with Kanye West in the audience, Taylor Swift sang a song about the 2009 VMA’s, when Kanye crashed the stage as she accepted an award.
Can this story continue to overreact on such a huge scale to this non event? You know it brother! Popeater says…
Taylor Swift once again found herself in the company of the man that made her cry.
The guy who gave her that shitty spiral perm?
Not only was the young Taylor seeing Kanye West for the first time since the rapper’s infamous ambush at last year’s VMAs, she was also debuting a new song about him that she was terrified to perform.
I would have been too, this song is fucking terrible.
“Taylor was a nervous wreck before she hit the stage last night,” a friend of the singer tells me. “She knew Kanye was in the building and was terrified and praying that he wouldn’t pull another stunt.”
“Dear God, please protect me from anything interesting…”
Taylor’s new song was indeed very emotional. “Lost your balance on the tight rope / It’s never too late to get it back,” she sang. “Thirty-two and still growing up now … who you are is not what you say,” Swift continued as everyone in the audience waited for West to react.
But he didn’t. Because why would he? “Lost your balance on the tight rope / It’s never too late to get it back”? The fuck does that mean? She could sing that while pointing at me and working a little doll that looks like me that says “YOU” on it and then have the doll fall off a little tight rope, and it still wouldn’t register. I would just smile and nod politely and give her a thumbs up.
kanye is a law abiding citizen
By brendon January 29, 2010 @ 6:06 PM
It’s hard to find any record of it ever happening when it was allegedly happening, but apparently Kanye West completed 50 hours of community service and took an anger management course at some point, which fulfills the obligations of his sentence after the above incident in 2008, when he assaulted a photographer without provocation and smashed his camera, then bragged about it while taunting his victim and warning him that the police could do nothing to save him.
That would seemingly be illegal, but luckily for Kanye he did it in LA, home of Americas most useless and corrupt legal system. Now all charges have been dropped, and Kanye is free to go.
You know how some judges or prosecutors compare themselves to pitt bulls for their ferocity and aggressiveness in the pursuit of justice? Well in LA they’re more like basset hounds, who just sort of sit there looking confused, and then one leans over and gives the other one a kiss and then rolls over on his back so you can rub his tummy.
