Kanye West's Fucking Crazy Post 2009 VMA Rant Released

An audio recording has surfaced that supposedly has Kanye West ranting after the 2009 VMA awards. It may not be him...but it sure sounds like the kind of crazy shit he would say. You'll recall that that was the fateful night when he ran up on stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and said that Beyoncé's video for Single Ladies deserved to win. That's also the moment when America, nay the world, first...read more

Kris Jenner Thinks Kanye West Is Allowed To Be Violent (VIDEO)

Talk show host and Satan's booking agent Kris Jenner stopped by The Talk yesterday, because there's nothing more exciting for the people who watch daytime talk shows than talk show hosts interviewing other talk show hosts. It's the ultimate full circle for women who'd bleach their assholes on live TV if it meant getting a ratings spike. Anyway, one of The Talk's soulless harpies asked Kris about Kanye West's...read more

Kanye Will Fuck You Up for Talking To Him Or Anyone He Knows (VIDEO)

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. Don't fucking talk to Kanye West. Don't talk to anyone he knows. Just shut the fuck up or he will fuck you up. That's the basic message. Also, he's feeling fat and nobody loves him. How's fatherhood treating you, Kanye?read more

Kris Jenner Thinks North West Isn't Going To Be Teased

Kris Jenner, the crusty vaginal font of all things Kardashian, said that she doesn't think her new granddaughter will be picked on at school for her name. Kris was on Watch What Happens Live on Wednesday and gay Muppet host Andy Cohen asked her if she thought that lil' North was going to be mocked by kids in school because, you know, her name is fucking stupid, her mom is a porn star, and her dad, by this point, has...read more

Kim and Kanye Can't Turn Away Baby Money Fast Enough

Bearing her rapper boyfriend's bastard baby has changed Kim Kardashian. So we are told. So much so that when some Australian magazine offered her $3 million for first photos of her stupidly named daughter, Kim said nay. She and Kanye do not want their offspring living a life in front of the camera. By that she means, try $5 million. My guess is People magazine. But, before you call Kim a singularly-focused...read more

Kris Jenner Tried To Explain North West (VIDEO)

Soon-to-be talk show host and woman who would burn an entire orphanage to the ground for attention, Kris Jenner, was on The View yesterday to discuss, among other crap, how her cash cow daughter, Kim Kardashian, just named her newborn baby North West. Kris claimed that Kim and Kanye West picked that name because north means "highest power" and this is the "highest point" of their relationship. At the very least,...read more

The North Name Gets Even Lamer

By now we all know that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their womb ferret North West. But why? Why, of all the names in the whole world did they pick a fucking direction as a name? Was it simply to make a stupid pun? According to sources close to the obnoxious couple, it's a metaphor...a stupid, lame, nonsensical metaphor. They claim that it is inspirational rather than directional. The sources say, "They chose...read more

Kanye And Kim Named Baby North West

North West. That's what Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have named their bastard daughter. There had been rumors since March that they would name the baby North, but Kim denied it. You know, because it's fucking stupid. But I guess she gave in to the pressure exerted by Kanye West's ego to make a geographical direction about him. I bet he thought he was real fucking clever when he came up with it too. "Yo, Kim. You know...read more

Kardashian Bastard Baby Not To Be Named Kaidence

Well, fuck me. And sorry to those of you prognosticators who called the idiotic name Kaidence in our Twitter contest. Looks like Kim and Kanye have not decided to name the product of their hotel room splooge Kaidence. The name has not yet been officially given by the parents, which can only mean they're selling that announcement to some magazine. Or they're waiting for the summer solstice and Satan to arise andanoint...read more

Kaidence Donda West Is the Name of Your Destroyer

If you had Kaidence in the Kim Kardashian and Kanye West baby naming pool, you may just have won a $500 gift card. I'd use it quick before the child grows up to bring a hellish apocalypse upon the human race. Maybe you have a few weeks until she learns to breathe fire and teleport herself.read more

Kerry Rhodes Isn't Gay, He's Kim Kardashian's Baby Daddy!

Kerry Rhodes, the infamously rumored gay NFL star, outed by his own boyfriend in a video on this very site, now is telling his buddies via text that he might be the Kim's baby daddy as he was nailing the Kardashian nine months ago around the same dates that Kanye was. Man this could be my baby!! I was fu**ing her the same time as K.West was lol!!! While any sane person is willing to believe that Kim could have...read more

Scott Disick Stars In Kanye West's 'American Psycho' (Video)

Over the weekend, some grainy, incomprehensible footage of Scott Disick playing Patrick Bateman in American Psycho for one of Kanye West's promotional videos for "Yeezus" hit the web, but nobody could really appreciate the cheesy porn parody value of it until a cleaner version became available. Fortunately, West uploaded the video to his website, and now you can watch two guys who became famous for their...read more

Kanye West Is Not a Cheater

Leyla Ghobadi, self-described model and tour whore from Quebec, has now modified her shocking tale of being on the vagina end of Kanye cheating on Kim.Leyla is now sort of kind of remembering that maybe her juice sloshing episodes with Yeezus actually took place before Kanye planted his flag in Kim's fat-injected dumper. "I was introduced to him at the Montreal concert. We met backstage as I knew members of his band....read more

Kardashian Baby Arrives, Just as Was Foretold

I can tell you now that a well-placed source within the Kardashian camp, let's call her, Whore X, clued me into the fact that this baby wasn't coming in mid-July. That was a shady ruse designed to deke the press, at least the ones who didn't pay seven figures exclusive coverage deals. Since nobody listened to Father Brennan once again, the devil baby is upon us. What shall be our end times? Brimstone? Locusts? A...read more

Kanye West Thinks He's Steve Jobs

Obnoxious egomaniac and Kardashian-breeder, Kanye West, believes that in the future people will think of him the way they do about Steve Jobs. Yeah, that Steve Jobs. It all started when a simple interview with the New York Times turned into a three day rant where Kanye discussed how awesome he is. That's not really a surprise. It was when he began comparing himself to Jobs that things got really weird: "I think what...read more