By Lex August 18, 2014 @ 2:09 PM
Last month it was a Chris Brown celebrity kickball game with all the felonious minions and Kardashians he could gather up. Now, flag football against Puff Daddy’s son. Chris Brown is either building his curriculum vitae for a middle school P.E. teacher vacancy or he’s fulfilling the community service portion of his probation in the most Chris Brown way possible.
These events certainly make it simpler for the local weed and small arms dealers to get to their customers all in one place. And for the twenty or so people who came to watch the game and help raise money for a charity that will never share the accounting, it was a spectacular day all around. Chris Brown just has one ice water bucket challenge and celebrity skeet shooting event in his backyard and his slate is clean in the eyes of the law. He’s like a reverse Hurricane Carter.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash
By Lex June 23, 2014 @ 1:34 PM
The Free the Nipple campaign started with such high minded ideals. Like getting Instagram to allow moderately unattractive women to show pictures of their bare tits without having their accounts suspended. For some reason the Facebook family of soul selling social media outlets doesn’t allow nipples to be shown in any visual medium on their sites. At the same time, Jihadi beheadings and men recounting tales of their last domestic abuse seem to be cool. I’d question the relative moral legitimacy of the nipple ban but then Zuckerberg would back up a dump truck and have me drowned in a sea of hundred dollar bills as his way of screaming ‘scoreboard, motherfucker!.
Rumer Willis and her band of women you’d have no interest in seeing topless banded together at the SkyBar in West Hollywood for a fundraiser of unclear purpose. Nobody actually showed off their nipples save for one woman who breastfed her baby after she had accidentally shown up to the wrong protest. Herein lies the fundamental flaw in almost all bra burning feminist protests. The lack of hot women. That’s the game changer. You can’t win the Super Bowl without a Super Bowl quarterback. It’s cute that women think earnest intentions are enough. It’s like men who think growing a mustache will get them laid. Wake me when you’ve got some Brazilian supermodels in the mix. I’d sell my original series Fantastic Four #3 mint-condition to free those nipples. Rumer Willis can keep her shirt on. The world will still spin. Flame on.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Getty
By Lex June 06, 2014 @ 12:37 PM
Can’t blame Chris Brown for feeling a little nervous when he’s blindfolded and told he’s been taken off to an exciting surprise. Just a couple week’s ago at the L.A. County Men’s Central Jail, that meant something completely different. But his new old former ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran had something more fun than prison block gang sodomy planned. A BBQ. A big old fun BBQ with all of Chris’ dear friends and paid friends and rappers friends and not his mom who he throws rocks at or the people he’s ordered his bodyguards to punch or the women he’s assaulted. You only get out of jail once, give or take a few, why not celebrate with some ribs.
Photo Credit: Splash