I’m not sure why the camera guys snapping pictures of celebrities in Mexico can’t get clearer photos. I think it’s got something to do with the tropical climate. Or maybe bribing the right local officials to get in normal lens range. For the right payoff in Mexico, you could get the police to bring a handcuffed Kate Beckinsale to an abandoned warehouse to shoot high res fetish porn photos. That price is exactly $600. Don’t try offering $400 for that service or you’ll get kicked in the face. A friend told me.
I can’t look at hot moms wearing bikinis without thinking about all the hot moms in my neighborhood when I was a kid who refused to reciprocate or even acknowledge the very real and masturbatory feelings I had for them. But I vowed back in those days that I would grow up to be a man they could not ignore, a man of great accomplishment, a man of wealth and title who these same women would beg to take them. That or a really clever hypnotist.
Here’s Kate Beckinsale in a bikini at that Los Cabos resort where expensive lawyers for celebrities claim they have an expectation of privacy despite being photographed 100% of the times they visit there.
‘Total Recall’ had their big fancy Hollywood premiere last night, which doubled as a senior prom according to Jessica Biels dress. The theme was A Night to Remember, and all the tables had iridescent marbles in water as centerpieces. At the end of the night Kate Beckinsale signed Jessicas yearbook, telling her to never change, “remember cheer camp omfg”, and have a gr8 summer.
The first full trailer for Len Wiseman’s ‘Total Recall’ remake went up yesterday, with Colin Farrell playing a smaller though more intelligible Douglas Quiad/Hauser and Kate Beckinsale as his wife who is very dismissive when he asks, “Why are you trying to kill me?” Even though that seems to be a perfectly reasonable question. She had to know he was gonna be surprised by this.
She hasn’t made any sort of announcement yet, but Kate Beckinsale sure as hell looked pregnant during a hike yesterday in LA. But then by the last picture, she didn’t look pregnant anymore. She also seems to have hiked all the way back to the old west, so really there’s not a thing about any of this that makes any sense.