By Lex May 26, 2015 @ 11:48 AM
Each Memorial Day Joel Silver gathers all the cool names in show business to hang out at his place in Malibu and pretend they’re not wishing each other dead with the pox. You have to go if you’re invited since Joel Silver runs a shit ton of movies and TV shows. It’s also a chance for the newbies to run lines with Silver while his peen is planted firmly in the back of their throats, a rite of passage easily forgotten with molly and a fruity-flavored cocktail. Kate Hudson is well past neophyte stage. If she blows somebody important it’s because she wants to, or she’s feeling sad or frightened or unattractive or old. Hollywood is much like the Wonka factory if you replaced pure imagination with chemically treated anxiety.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex January 26, 2015 @ 11:16 AM
It’s a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I’ll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on accredited university degrees for the dude who slices her up on the regular. Her daughter only needs a couple toxin needles here and there. But that Corpse Bride really got the shaft. You have to believe they stitched her back together then realized there were still some pieces left on the medical tray. Like when you put together an Ikea bookshelf. You can tell yourself those three hex bolts and the half-inch screw were just drunk Swedes fucking up the count at the factory. But deep down you know that fucker is caving in one day. Now, imagine that’s your face.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex January 23, 2015 @ 12:13 PM
Every five years Kate Hudson composts her hemp diaphragm and lets a rock star make a baby inside of her. Get your discography together if you want to make a good looking kid. Not that you heard it from me, but I’d wait until you see the glassy stare in her eyes before you ask for intercourse proper. While waiting, why not sample some of her athletic gear. Fabletics. Kate came up with that name by combining the word athletics with the word fabliau, which is a polite French word for cum covered whore with canker sore lips. There are only so many domain names left.
Photo Credit: Fabletics
By Lex November 10, 2014 @ 3:23 PM
Kate Hudson holds the Baby2Baby Gala every year in Los Angeles. I believe it raises money for women who get knocked up by multiple rock stars. The word ‘baby’ in any charity provides extensive leeway into nobody asking where the hell their check is going. It’s called BabyMurder, just sign your name and hand over some of that TV syndication dough, fat fucking Oprah. Outside of The AIDS and Mmm, Sex With Obama, Baby is the best fundraising keyword you can plug into an L.A. event.
Women love babies like men love tits. We even make the same noises when we see them. Eventually somebody will put together a hot women breastfeeding event and the entire wealth of the world will be transferred in one evening.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex June 23, 2014 @ 12:58 PM
Taking a much needed vacation from that movie she made fifteen years ago, Kate Hudson and the dude from Muse traveled to Ibiza to work on their relationship. That means fucking without having to hear the nannies complain about how your blended family kids are lighting the Mediterranean modern McMansion curtains on fire. I’ve always admired Kate Hudson for keeping her natural body and relying solely on her acting talent and famous family and rock star baby daddies to get work in Hollywood. It hasn’t worked out so stupendously, but she retains that blaming her tiny tits card to play as needed.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash
By Lex May 20, 2014 @ 10:22 AM
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Splash, AKM-GSI