By Matt August 21, 2015 @ 8:08 AM
Kate Hudson is busy promoting her Fabletics brand of activewear for women who like post photos at the gym after misting their foreheads with a spray bottle. Hudson posted this one to Instagram along with her friend Angi Greene. It’s unclear which is which or what Greene does but it probably involves that water bottle and a hot bath.
“My #fitspiration girlfriend @angigreene Always good to have a friend who can kick your butt and push you further #TryingToKeepUp #fabletics.”
You’d better watch it Hudson. Being fit is the new fat in that it’s considered unhealthy and grotesque by those on the opposite side of the spectrum. Of course only one of these sides is being genuine and the other is busy mainlining moon pies. Bragging about not having a gunt can land you in hot water these days. At least throw in a plug for the Save the Cats Foundation. This normal chicks that guys want to fuck thing is drawing the ire of feminist bloggers everywhere. Skipping HuffPo only stops 90% of their reach. They’re out there. I’d recommend not sucking in your guy when running for your life.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex June 18, 2015 @ 10:26 AM
Goldie Hawn seems constantly in motion. It may have something to do with what happens to her skin during standstill. She may slurry back into her periodic table elements. Hawn seems like a good mom who doesn’t judge her daughter for showing up with a different musician and a different baby every year on the family holiday. Actually maybe that’s a bad mom. You could drop a little hint like if you want to fuck lots of men, consider protection. I didn’t give you a dozen half black brothers and sisters. There is a way, darling. Now pass the surgical glue. My left ear came off during lunch.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex June 04, 2015 @ 12:43 PM
The X-Files is returning to Fox because they couldn’t think of anything relatively less derivative and nerds at lesser city Comic-Cons want one last chance to tug one out to Gillian Anderson. You’d like to think that a metropolis comprised entirely of super duper pill popping sodomites could come up with some novel programming ideas, but constantly checking your wristband to see how many feet you’ve walked today takes its toll on your total parietal output. Remember when there was a new show on network TV you were excited to watch? It was called X-Files. It’s back.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex May 26, 2015 @ 11:48 AM
Each Memorial Day Joel Silver gathers all the cool names in show business to hang out at his place in Malibu and pretend they’re not wishing each other dead with the pox. You have to go if you’re invited since Joel Silver runs a shit ton of movies and TV shows. It’s also a chance for the newbies to run lines with Silver while his peen is planted firmly in the back of their throats, a rite of passage easily forgotten with molly and a fruity-flavored cocktail. Kate Hudson is well past neophyte stage. If she blows somebody important it’s because she wants to, or she’s feeling sad or frightened or unattractive or old. Hollywood is much like the Wonka factory if you replaced pure imagination with chemically treated anxiety.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex January 26, 2015 @ 11:16 AM
It’s a matter of opinion as to who among the group of girlfriends is the one staying home on Saturday night, but I’ll randomly bet behind the one who resembles a Tim Burton stop-motion character. Goldie Hawn insisted on accredited university degrees for the dude who slices her up on the regular. Her daughter only needs a couple toxin needles here and there. But that Corpse Bride really got the shaft. You have to believe they stitched her back together then realized there were still some pieces left on the medical tray. Like when you put together an Ikea bookshelf. You can tell yourself those three hex bolts and the half-inch screw were just drunk Swedes fucking up the count at the factory. But deep down you know that fucker is caving in one day. Now, imagine that’s your face.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex January 23, 2015 @ 12:13 PM
Every five years Kate Hudson composts her hemp diaphragm and lets a rock star make a baby inside of her. Get your discography together if you want to make a good looking kid. Not that you heard it from me, but I’d wait until you see the glassy stare in her eyes before you ask for intercourse proper. While waiting, why not sample some of her athletic gear. Fabletics. Kate came up with that name by combining the word athletics with the word fabliau, which is a polite French word for cum covered whore with canker sore lips. There are only so many domain names left.
Photo Credit: Fabletics