By Lex February 04, 2016 @ 9:11 AM
Kate Hudson has finally agreed to accept her body. It’s come at or around the time she got gross profit points in Fabletics athletics wear for women. She made the announcement following a discussion of the rigors of being a wealthy mom with two kids in Malibu who struggles to find the six hours a day needed to stretch, workout, and meditate herself into acceptable female form. Kate’s new book, Pretty Happy, reveals the secrets to feeling pretty from the inside out. A happy colon is a happy woman.
It’s about health and mindfulness. Because you can have the greatest body and you can be really unhappy if that’s all you’re working toward.
Women who struggle with pay inequality at the jobs they don’t have love empty words like ‘mindfulness’. Also the freeing concept that having a great body won’t make you happy. The book also touts a series of interactive quizzes for women to make sure they’re on the right track to buying even more books, as opposed to something like a fruit or vegetable. It’s unclear how you have an interactive quiz in a printed copy book, but that’s the least of the duplicities contained within.
There’s a fine line between beautiful rich women inspiring unhappy fat women and just plain ripping them off. If you judge only by results, it’s entirely the latter. Women’s health and fitness sermons are televangelism for the areligious. Be sure to visit the gift shop on your way out.
Photo Credit: Self Magazine
By Lex January 22, 2016 @ 8:22 AM
Every six years, Kate Hudson engages a new rock frontman to make a baby with. As an indulged child Kate Hudson threw her gum at a gypsy woman and this is her fate. Someday she will lead her ill gotten offspring up to a volcano in Romania and end the curse. Which sucks for her team of nannies who will suddenly find themselves with a gift bag of Fabletics sports bras and a pink slip. We’re going to need more bubbles. I can see where baby number is going to crown.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex October 15, 2015 @ 6:56 AM
Gwyneth Paltrow and Kate Hudson hit the same evening spot without bras to show the world that yoga and plastic surgery and money are literally unstoppable. The two celebrity moms exchanged ideas on how to fleece the female general public with merchandising cons so simplistic, it’s hard to believe they work. But they do. Then they cackled without moving their lips and agreed that if neither is married for the fourth time when they’re sixty, they’ll become a sexless lesbian couple and run a Botox farm. Campbell’s soup is scouting them now for a #RealRealAmerica commercial. Where’s my drone, Obama?
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex October 06, 2015 @ 9:32 AM
Kate Hudson fronts the moronically named sports apparel line for women under fire because customers keep signing up for some grifter VIP new outfit of the month club and can’t figure out how to quit. I’d mock them more but I’m still paying for a Bally’s gym membership I quit eight years ago and I just got a cash on delivery order of Best of Steve Miller cassette tapes from BMG. The company that owns Fabletics uses a too good to be true entry deal to lure you into a subscription service to get new sports bras and leggings every month then you find you’re locked in for $50 a month. You can’t read the 2-pt font out-clause and even if you could, nobody seems to answer the number they tell you to call to cancel. Still, you do look amazing in spin class and Kate Hudson gets to feed her babies the better heroin. When the address for legal letters is the Island of Misfit Toys, you’re probably best not entering the credit card digits.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Michael September 28, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Sexy cougar Kate Hudson has been seen around town with Nick Jonas even though she’s like 50 and he’s barely old enough to be making out with college boys. I guess there is still some gas in the old girl yet.
Read more about this torrid affair. (Dlisted)
Arianny Celeste shows off her lingerie at home. (Last Men On Earth)
Maura Tierney does it naked in the Boob Tube roundup. (Egotastic All-Stars)
Coco, pregnant as fuck, still wears a bikini. Thanks, feminism. (TMZ)
Marloes Horst sports some lingerie for Target in Australia. (Drunken Stepfather)
I do so love a sweaty girl in a sports bra. (The Chive)
Kaley Cuoco’s steamiest pictures on the web. (COED)
By Matt August 21, 2015 @ 8:08 AM
Kate Hudson is busy promoting her Fabletics brand of activewear for women who like post photos at the gym after misting their foreheads with a spray bottle. Hudson posted this one to Instagram along with her friend Angi Greene. It’s unclear which is which or what Greene does but it probably involves that water bottle and a hot bath.
“My #fitspiration girlfriend @angigreene Always good to have a friend who can kick your butt and push you further #TryingToKeepUp #fabletics.”
You’d better watch it Hudson. Being fit is the new fat in that it’s considered unhealthy and grotesque by those on the opposite side of the spectrum. Of course only one of these sides is being genuine and the other is busy mainlining moon pies. Bragging about not having a gunt can land you in hot water these days. At least throw in a plug for the Save the Cats Foundation. This normal chicks that guys want to fuck thing is drawing the ire of feminist bloggers everywhere. Skipping HuffPo only stops 90% of their reach. They’re out there. I’d recommend not sucking in your guy when running for your life.
Photo Credit: Instagram